


I'll Be Your Arms, I'll Be Your Steady Satellite

by doctornineandthreequarters



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mutual Pining, Protective Eddie Diaz, Protective Firehouse 118 Crew (9-1-1 TV), Slow Burn, Worried Evan "Buck" Buckley, Worried Firefam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:01:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 54,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25841758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctornineandthreequarters/pseuds/doctornineandthreequarters
Summary: Buck couldn’t believe how quickly the day had turned. When he had been thinking about what came next, this hadn’t been what he expected.---The 118 takes a call that changes everything, turning Buck's world upside down and pushing his life in a new direction.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Christopher Diaz & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley & Firehouse 118 Crew, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Maddie Buckley, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 635
Kudos: 845





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've been working on this new multi-chapter fic for awhile and I'm very excited to finally share it with you all!

_What’s next?_

Buck had been asking himself that since the train derailment, since his surprise encounter with Abby, when it felt like the world had turned upside down.

Sometimes, even though it had been weeks since it happened, Buck found himself reflecting back on the shock of seeing Abby. He had been so in shock seeing her at first after almost two years. He remembered a sinking feeling of loneliness watching Abby get into the ambulance with her fiancee, knowing he had never been what she needed. He remembered wondering if he was ever what she needed, if they would’ve lasted even if she had stayed. 

He remembered wondering if she had ever felt the way he had, or if he had built the relationship up in his head, putting her on a pedestal. He remembered Eddie asking him if he was okay, a question he wasn’t ready to answer at the time. 

And he remembered the words he uttered as he trudged back to work, trying to push away that feeling of how he always ended up alone. 

_What’s next?_

“Hey.” Buck had been sitting on the couch, mindlessly staring at his phone. They were nearing the end of a twenty-four hour shift and he wondered if it was the exhaustion dragging him back to the night of the train derailment. Eddie had appeared next to him on the couch, a look of concern on his face.

“Hey,” Buck said, pocketing his phone. “What’s up?”

“I was wondering the same thing,” Eddie said. “You’ve got that pensive look on your face.”

“Just thinking.” When he thought about the train derailment and seeing Abby again, a part of him knew he was long since over her. It wasn’t like he was still in love with her. But seeing her, seeing how she had moved on and was happy, knowing that she had left with no intention of coming back, it had brought up feelings Buck had been fighting down for awhile. 

He was lonely. He knew that, he had expressed so to Maddie. Everybody had someone to come home to at the end of the day. He had an empty apartment. He had been alone since Ali dumped him almost a year ago. He still didn’t fully know why. They had had one fight about his recovery and him working to get back to being a firefighter and then she was gone. Gone like Abby. Gone like everyone else in his life. 

“Hey.” Eddie knocked his shoulder into Buck’s. “You’re doing it again.”

“Sorry,” Buck said, a sheepish smile on his face. “Guess this shift is just getting to me.”

“I feel that,” Eddie said with a chuckle. “Hey, maybe after we’ve washed the grime of this shift away and caught up on some sleep, you can come by? Christopher has been talking about going to the skate park and we need four hands to operate that thing.”

Buck attempted a smile. It seemed Eddie always was there, trying to lift him up when he hit his lowest points. But the smile also felt forced. Because as much as he loved spending time with them, it felt fleeting. It wasn’t forever, this little trio of him, Eddie, and Christopher. He knew Eddie would find someone, someone that Christopher would obviously adore, and their days of movie nights and skate park trips would be all but gone. It broke his heart a little and it hadn’t even happened yet. 

They were always dancing around something, the two of them. They were attached at the hip at work, doing chores together or spotting the other in the gym. Buck spent more of his free time at the Diaz house then he cared to admit. And he didn’t know when that platonic love had turned into something more for Eddie, but it had. But Eddie didn’t feel the same. So Buck had just settled on savoring their time before it was gone, before Eddie fell in love and left Buck the way everyone else did. 

“Yeah sure,” Buck said, because that was the easiest thing to do. Maybe it was selfish and it would hurt when it was all gone, but he could hold on tightly for now. He could enjoy those moments while they lasted. 

Eddie must’ve noticed something because he had been about to speak up when the alarm went off. Buck said something about racing him to get in their gear before heading down the stairs. Bobby was already calling orders as he reached his stuff. This wasn’t a medical call, so Buck needed to get on his turnout gear. He was the fastest person to do so, Eddie only a second later, commenting that Buck had had a head start. 

And then, they were in the truck heading to the scene. 

Buck vaguely remembered listening to Bobby as he passed information from dispatch. It was a car accident on the freeway involving multiple cars. But he felt distracted. He felt like he had a million things going on in his head. Eddie must’ve noticed because the brunette knocked knees with him, sending him a questioning look. Buck just shot him a nod as they arrived on the scene. He had to get out of his funk of loneliness. They had a job to do.

“Buck, Eddie, check on the first car,” Bobby said. “Hen and Chimney will check the second one.” Buck nodded and then he was heading towards the first car. He tilted his head as he approached, feeling like it looked familiar. 

His heart sunk when he realized why. 

“Ali?” His eyes nearly bugged out of his skull, seeing his ex-girlfriend in the driver’s seat. There was blood dripping down one side of her head and she looked confused. But when she saw Buck, an almost terrified look crossed her face. 

“Oh god,” She mumbled. Eddie passed Buck, noticing how the blonde was now frozen staring at Ali. The window had shattered allowing Eddie to reach for her to check the wound on her head. “Oh god, I’m sorry Buck.” Eddie glanced at Buck, wondering why she kept repeating that. But Buck was clueless. 

It had been almost a year since he had seen Ali, since she had broken up with him after their first and only fight. He still remembered the tears streaming down her face as she screamed at him to stop pushing, to stop trying so hard, to just rest. He remembered the hurt on her face when he said that getting back to work was important. And he remembered her screaming it was over and storming out. 

Her number was changed a day later and that had been the end of it. Or so he thought. 

“Ali, we’re going to get you out of here, okay?” Eddie was taking control, seeing how out of it Buck was. She shook her head as tears streamed down her face. 

“Buck, I’m so sorry.” Buck was about to ask why when he heard a noise. 

It was a baby crying. 

Buck looked at Ali, who was now sobbing. He felt his chest tighten as he moved towards the back window. He couldn’t hear anything else, not the sirens, not Ali’s cries, nothing but the sound of a baby crying. And then he saw her, a small baby, with curly tufts of blonde hair, screaming.

“Help her please!” Ali’s voice brought him back and he was moving, getting the car down open. He removed the baby, who didn’t look more than six months old from the car seat. The knot that had been growing in his stomach seemed to intensify when the baby stopped screaming, staring at Buck. He looked over helplessly at Eddie, who was still checking on Ali. 

“I’m sorry.” Ali was still repeating her apology over and over again, adding to the terrified feeling mounting in his stomach. He stared at the baby, petrified. She couldn’t be...could she? Ali wouldn’t do that to him, right? But she had broken up with him. She had changed her number. Could she have hidden something like this?

“Buck.” He looked up, seeing Bobby. Hen and Chimney were now helping Eddie, both of them glancing over at Buck. 

“I…” Buck didn’t know what to say. His brain was running with too many thoughts. He glanced at the baby and then at Bobby.

“Let’s get the baby checked out, okay?” 

“Bobby.” There was a terrified sound to his own voice that Buck didn’t recognize. But Bobby just placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. 

“Buck, one step at a time, okay?” Buck just nodded and followed Bobby, the whole time feeling like the knot in his stomach was only growing tighter and tighter.

* * *

Eddie knew it was best to go into their calls with no expectations. After two years at the 118, he had learned that anything can and will happen. 

That didn’t mean he expected this. 

Having to rescue Ali was one thing (that was how they had met her the first time). But she had been mildly less panicked last time and that had been during a 7.1 earthquake (which if Ali hadn’t dumped Buck so abruptly while he was recovering, Eddie would’ve said he admired how calm and collected she had been during that emergency). So seeing her sobbing and saying the same thing over and over again was both shocking and concerning. Eddie was already worried about head trauma when he heard the cry from the backseat. 

Nothing had been more shocking than Buck going into the backseat and coming out with a baby, a baby with blonde curls that he would know anywhere. 

He could see the overwhelming panic on Buck’s face as he stared at the child. Eddie had so many questions and even more so just wanted to be there for his friend. But they had a job to do. So he had called for the others, since he was going to need help getting Ali out of the car and Buck was in no state to do so. 

“We’ve got mild trauma to the temporal ridge on the left side,” Hen said. “We need to get her out of here.” Eddie just nodded, working with Chimney to get her out of the car. If Ali was in any other pain, she wasn’t showing it. She was still sobbing and repeating how sorry she was. 

“I think we might be looking at a concussion too,” Chimney said as they got her on a backboard. “How long has she been repeating herself?”

“Since she saw Buck.” At the mention of his name, Ali let out another pained sob.

“We need to transport her,” Hen said. She and Chimney took over, moving the stretcher that Ali was on to the ambulance. Eddie looked around trying to spot Buck. He found him sitting in a nearby ambulance as another paramedic checked on the baby in his arms. 

Seeing the petrified look on Buck’s face made Eddie want to run to help him. But Bobby was still directing crew members towards dealing with the emergency before them. As much as he wanted to rush over to Buck and help him, he knew now wasn’t the time. So, he walked over to Bobby instead, forcing himself to focus on the job, even though he wanted to make sure Buck was okay.

* * *

Buck sat in the ambulance holding the baby. She had stopped screaming the minute Buck had picked her up. Now, she was just staring at him. And if he wasn’t so terrified and messed up with questions, he would’ve acknowledged then how cute she was. 

“We’re good to go Chim!” Hen had gotten into the ambulance with Ali on the stretcher. She glanced at Buck and simply nodded to him while she kept checking on Ali. Buck just held tightly to the baby as the ambulance began to move. 

“I’m sorry.” Buck tore his eyes away from the baby to Ali. Her eyes were red and tears were running down her face, mixing with blood on her cheek. “I should’ve...I’m sorry.” Buck knew Hen was watching and that Chimney could hear them, but he didn’t care. While he had so many questions, only one was important. 

“What’s her name?”

“H-Holly.” Buck nodded glancing down at the baby, who was still watching him. “I’m sorry Buck. I’m so sorry.” 

The rest of the ride was silent, Hen making sure Ali was stable and Buck staring at Holly. Buck couldn’t believe how quickly the day had turned. When he had been thinking about what came next, this hadn’t been what he expected. 

When they reached the hospital, Buck followed the stretcher inside as Hen filled the doctors in. He could see Ali watching him as he walked through the sliding doors. 

“Sir.” A nurse stopped him. “I can take the baby to look her over, but unless you’re family, you can’t come any further.” Buck blew out a breath, glancing back at Holly. 

“I am her family. I’m her father.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rest of the shift felt like it was going by painfully slow for Eddie. All he wanted to do was find out what hospital they had taken Ali to and go find Buck. But when Chimney and Hen came back, they were both quiet. Bobby hadn’t said much either, leaving all of them to just stew in silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god, guys! Thank you for all of your kinds words. I had been fretting about posting this story and you all were so wonderful. Thank you so much! Now, here's chapter two!

The rest of the shift felt like it was going by painfully slow for Eddie. All he wanted to do was find out what hospital they had taken Ali to and go find Buck. But when Chimney and Hen came back, they were both quiet. Bobby hadn’t said much either, leaving all of them to just stew in silence.

Eddie was pacing the loft of the station when Athena showed up.

“Normally when I visit you’re all getting up to something,” Athena said, making her way further into the loft. “But you’re all about as quiet as when Harry broke my favorite vase.”

“It’s been a weird shift,” Hen said from her seat at the table. Chimney just nodded, glancing at Eddie who was still pacing. Athena just studied them before noticing who was missing. 

“And where’s Buck?” Eddie let out a sigh and Athena raised an eyebrow before turning to Bobby. 

“We responded to that multi-car accident on the freeway,” Bobby explained. “One of the victims was Ali Martin.”

“Buck’s ex?” Bobby nodded. “That doesn’t explain why he’s not here or why you’re all so quiet.”

“There was a baby in the car,” Eddie said, finally stopping his pacing. Athena raised an eyebrow. 

“You don’t think-”

“She kept apologizing to him,” Eddie said. “The whole time, she just kept saying she was sorry. And she broke up with him basically out of nowhere and changed her number.”

“Buck told the doctors the baby was his,” Hen said. “And Ali didn’t correct him.”

“Explains why you all are on edge,” Athena said. Eddie knew she was talking to everyone, but her eyes fell on him. He just let out a sigh. He’d probably continue being on edge until he could see Buck. He couldn’t imagine what Buck was going through and he just wanted to make sure his friend was okay. And his worrying was totally normal for a friend, at least that was what he kept telling himself. 

“Well someone should check on him,” Athena said. “Make sure that boy’s not freaking out.” Eddie watched as Athena glanced at Bobby and he could’ve sworn she nodded in his direction. 

“Eddie,” Bobby said, understanding his wife’s silent actions. “Why don’t you head out early?”

“Are you sure?”

“Athena’s right, someone should check up on Buck.” Eddie nodded, trying not to make it obvious how relieved he was that he could leave. 

“USC Medical Center,” Hen said. Eddie quickly headed down the stairs, knowing he needed to text Carla, but also only being able to focus on getting to Buck. 

His concern for his best friend was completely normal. That was what he was going to keep reminding himself as he rushed out of the station.

* * *

Buck felt numb. The feeling had been running through him since the moment he saw Holly. There was no denying she was his daughter, the math alone worked out. Ali had broken up with him a year ago. Holly looked to be about six months. Their last fight was starting to make sense. And yet, he just felt numb about everything. 

“Mr. Buckley?” He looked up from where he was sitting. He remembered the sheer embarrassment about knowing nothing about Holly. Date of birth, height, weight, allergies, he didn’t know a single thing. And while that hadn’t been his fault, the look the nurse had given him made him want to crawl into a hole. 

“Are they both okay?” Buck asked, standing up. 

“Your daughter is perfectly fine,” The doctor said. “We want to keep her overnight for observation, but physically there isn’t a scratch on her.” Buck let out a sigh he didn’t know he had been holding.

“And Ali?” The doctor pursed her lips. “I know I’m not family, but we share a daughter. Please.”

“They’re still running tests. We’ll let you know when she’s done.”

“Can I see Holly?” The doctor nodded and led Buck down the hallway. He still felt numb, a million questions running through his head, but that numbness fell away when he saw Holly. 

A nurse was holding her, gently rocking her. Buck just stood in the doorway watching. The doctor was gone, but hadn’t alerted the nurse that Buck was there. He felt something stirring in his heart as he stared at Holly. 

The nurse finally looked up, noticing Buck. She was about to say something when Holly made a noise. Buck felt that feeling in his heart grow when Holly reached out her hands for Buck. 

“I think someone wants her dad.” The nurse walked over and gently placed Holly in his arms. Buck felt frozen as the infant was placed in his arms. He looked up at the nurse, a look of uncertainty streaking across his face. 

“Is this…” Buck was sure she could hear the terror in his voice. “Is this right?”

“You’re doing great,” She said with a kind smile. “We have a rocking chair if you’d be more comfortable. I’ll be outside at the desk if you need anything.” Buck just nodded as she left the room. 

He let out a long breath as he sat down in the rocking chair, cradling Holly as he did. For as many questions as he still had for Ali, all of that melted away as she stared at Holly. 

“I know we’re just meeting,” Buck said. “But I’m your dad. And I’m going to do everything I can to keep you safe and happy.” Holly just stared at him, reaching her hand towards him. Buck leaned down a bit and her hand touched his cheek. She let out a giggle, a sound that Buck decided was now his favorite in the world and he smiled. 

Maybe he still needed to talk to Ali, but in that moment he knew he'd do just about anything for his daughter. 

* * *

Eddie sighed as he made his way through the hospital. A very polite nurse had told him where Buck was. He tried to quell his nerves as he kept moving. 

He didn’t love hospitals. It reminded him of Christopher’s surgeries, of the ones he missed and the ones where he felt so helpless he could’ve cried. His son, of course, was a trooper every time, charming every doctor and nurse with his positive attitude and megawatt smile. 

Since moving to LA, Eddie had finally felt like he had a handle on being a dad. Maybe it was because his parents weren’t judging his every move or coddling Christopher. Even in the moments when he felt like he had messed up our failed his kid, one smile from Christopher made it okay. It reminded him that he’d be okay, that he was a good dad. 

He knew Buck needed to hear that. Buck always said he loved kids, but having his own kid was different, especially a kid he didn’t know existed twenty-four hours prior. That was why he wanted to be there for Buck. Because he understood and could help. Totally normal reasons. 

But then he was standing in the hospital room and felt his heart nearly leap out of his chest. 

Buck was sitting in a rocking chair holding the baby. He was staring at her with such a loving expression that it almost made Eddie’s knees go weak. 

He knew what he felt for Buck wasn’t always platonic. But between everything they had both been through (disastrous relationships, medical emergencies, the lawsuit, the flight club) it never felt like the right time to understand his own feelings or ask if Buck felt the same.

And now, while Buck was suddenly hit with life-changing news, now was definitely not the time to bring it up.

“How is she?” Eddie asked, getting Buck’s attention. Buck looked up at him and Eddie smiled, ignoring the thumping of his heart. 

“Not a scratch from the accident.” Eddie nodded. “I don’t know about Ali. They were running some tests.”

“And what about you?” Buck was about to answer when a doctor and a nurse came in. 

“Ms. Martin is done with her tests, if you’d like to see her.” Buck looked at Eddie and Eddie just offered him a sympathetic smile. Buck stood up slowly, taking extra care because of the infant in his arms. The nurse took her from Buck’s arms and Eddie saw Buck deflate a little.

“Go on,” Eddie said, patting Buck’s shoulder. “I’ll stay here.” Buck nodded, a smile gracing his features for a second before following the doctor. Eddie watched him go, knowing Buck needed to do this alone, but wanting nothing more than to be there for him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Why didn’t you tell me?” It was the million dollar question. Why had Ali kept something this massive from him? Why had she run off instead of talking to him?
> 
> “Evan.” There was a sadness to her voice. Buck just watched her. He needed to know why. He needed her explanation.

Buck felt some relief as he walked into Ali’s hospital room. It almost felt like deja vu, except Ali was the one lying in the hospital bed and Buck was checking up on her. Her eyes fell on him and a sad look crossed her face. 

“I’m glad you're okay,” Buck said, sitting down next to her bed.

“Holly?” She asked, a tinge of fear in her voice.

“She’s good. Perfect even.” Ali let out a sigh of relief and sniffed a little. Then, the room lapsed into silence. It was clear Ali didn’t want to start the conversation they needed to have. After what felt like ages of just machines beeping, Buck finally spoke. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” It was the million dollar question. Why had Ali kept something this massive from him? Why had she run off instead of talking to him?

“Evan.” There was a sadness to her voice. Buck just watched her. He needed to know why. He needed her explanation. “It had barely been two months and you wanted to go back to work.” Buck sighed, remembering the fight they had the last time they had spoken. 

“Ali, you knew what my job was.”

“And you..god Evan, that day scared me to death,” Ali said, tears dripping down her face. “And knowing you wanted to go back? That you would willingly put yourself in other situations where you could get hurt again? I just...it scared me too much.” Buck sighed.

“The day we fought,” Buck began, remembering that day all too well. “The last time I saw you...did you know?”

“Yes.” Buck felt like he had been slapped in the face. Ali knew that day. She had known and had said nothing. He frowned heavily, feeling betrayed by her decision. “I was going to tell you. But then you started going on and on about physical therapy and getting back to work and I started panicking about what else could happen to you. And I had this news that I was already shocked by and then I started worrying about if one day you went to work and got hurt. I couldn’t...I didn’t like thinking about how there was a chance I would one day have to tell our child that you were gone.”

“So instead you didn’t tell me?” Ali sniffled, tears continuing to fall and Buck’s frown only grew. “Instead, you decided our child wouldn’t know me at all? You decided to run away instead of being honest with me?”

“I was scared.” He wanted to understand Ali’s decision. He knew what his job was and he thought Ali had understood that. But after the truck bombing, her views had changed. She was scared of him going back and getting hurt again. He wanted to understand, but all he felt was hurt. “I’m so sorry.”

“Well I know now.” Whatever Ali’s plan had been before, that was gone now. Buck knew about Holly and he wasn’t planning on letting his daughter grow up without a father. But that wasn’t his decision. Ali had been doing this alone for months. Would she let him be a part of Holly’s life?

“Buck.” He looked up at her. “You can ask it.”

“Are you going to let me be in our daughter’s life?” Ali reached her hand out and Buck let her fingers wrap around his.

“I shouldn’t have kept this from you in the first place,” Ali said. “I’ve regretted it every day since I left. Holly deserves both of her parents in her life.” Buck nodded and gently squeezed her hand. 

“Okay then,” Buck said. “We’ll figure this all out. Together.” Ali nodded. A part of him still wanted to be angry. He had already missed so much time. But the logical part of him knew that didn’t matter. He knew now and Ali wasn’t going to keep their daughter away from him. He could move past the anger and focus on his daughter. He glanced at Ali, a slight tilt to his head. “Can I ask you something? Why Holly?” A sad smile crossed her face. 

“The Hollywood Palms.”

“Where we met.” Buck smiled a little, remembering how they met, remembering that confident woman who, even then she had been stuck on the eleventh floor of a hotel during an earthquake, had stayed mostly calm and even had been a help to him and Eddie later on.

“I wanted her to have a little piece of you, even if I was too scared to tell you,” Ali said and Buck nodded. 

“I like it.” Ali smiled, wiping a few tears away.

“God, I hate crying.” Buck chuckled at that. “Can I ask you for something now?” Buck just nodded. “Can you...can you bring her to me? I need to see her. Just to know that she’s okay. To see it with my own eyes.”

“Then I’ll go get her.” Buck squeezed her hand again before standing up. 

“Thank you,” Ali said, her voice growing quiet. “And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but I’m glad Holly has you now.”

“She has both of us.” Ali nodded, a smile on her face, but tears in her eyes. “She has both of her parents.” They still had so much to figure out, but for now, Buck was just glad that Ali was okay. 

They could figure the rest out later.

* * *

Eddie stayed in the room the whole time Buck was gone. He had promised he would do so. So, even though the nurse feeding the baby was confused and giving him the side-eye, he stayed put. 

When Buck finally walked back in, he had an unreadable expression on his face. Eddie had to wonder how the conversation with Ali went. Was she okay? Had she explained why she hadn’t told Buck about the baby? He nodded to Eddie before walking over to the nurse, who had just finished burping the baby. The nurse smiled and handed him the baby. 

“You know, she’ll be okay to go home soon.” Eddie noticed Buck gulp a little at that. 

“T-that’s good,” Buck stuttered out. The nurse just nodded before leaving the room. Buck blew out a breath as Eddie watched him. 

“Buck?”

“Ali wants to see Holly,” Buck said. Eddie smiled a little at the name. It was sweet. He wondered what the meaning behind it was, but knew that question could wait. “I, uh…” His eyes met Eddie’s, a look of uncertainty on his face. 

“Do you want me to come with?” Buck nodded vehemently and Eddie smiled a little. He could see the looks on Buck’s face when anyone talked about Holly with him and could tell Buck was petrified by all of this. He made a mental note to remind Buck of how he felt when Christopher was born, knowing that would help him. “Then I’ll come with. And after, we can talk about what your apartment needs for Holly.” Buck breathed out a sigh.

“Thank you Eddie.”

“What are friends for?” Eddie offered, ignoring the part of him that always screamed for more beyond friends. Now just wasn’t the time. 

“Let’s go see your mom,” Buck whispered to the baby. It made Eddie want to melt, seeing Buck interact with Holly. Buck glanced at Eddie and Eddie just offered him another smile. Buck smiled back before heading out of the room. Eddie let out a small sigh before following after him.

* * *

Buck couldn’t help but smile as he carried Holly down the hall. In the back of his mind he knew he and Ali still had a lot to talk about. He also knew he needed to get a lot of things for his apartment. But for now, he was more than glad to bring Holly to Ali. They could figure everything out later. 

But as they rounded the hallway to Ali’s room, Buck could hear shouting. 

“We need the crash cart, stat!” He could see nurses and doctors running into Ali’s room. Buck’s eyes went wide, realizing something was wrong. He went to move towards the room, but suddenly Eddie was in front of him. 

“Buck, wait.” Buck shook his head, but Eddie was blocking his path. 

“Eddie, I have to…” Buck didn’t actually know what he had to do. Ali had to be okay. They needed to figure this out together. Holly deserved both of her parents in her life. He felt his chest tighten, knowing from his own job how quickly things could turn to the worse.

But then the doctor was exiting Ali’s room, a sigh escaping her lips. When she looked at Buck, Buck felt his heart drop.

“I’m sorry,” The doctor said solemnly. Buck just shook his head, not believing what he was hearing. 

“She…” Buck felt sick to his stomach as he stared at the door to Ali’s room. “She was fine. I was talking to her just a few minutes ago. She...she was fine!” The doctor sighed sadly. 

“Her scans picked up a brain bleed,” The doctor said. “It caused a massive seizure. There was nothing we could do.” It didn’t feel real to Buck, what the doctor was saying. He had just been talking to Ali mere minutes ago. And now...now she was just gone? But as the doctor walked away and Buck glanced at Holly, the truth hit him like a ton of bricks.

Ali was gone. Holly only had him now. And that thought terrified him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maddie quickly walked through the hospital doors. Chimney’s words over the phone were still ringing through her ears. It all seemed unbelievable. 
> 
> Buck was a dad. And Ali had kept that from him. 

Maddie quickly walked through the hospital doors. Chimney’s words over the phone were still ringing through her ears. It all seemed unbelievable. 

Buck was a dad. And Ali had kept that from him. 

She wanted to be furious at Buck’s ex. She wanted to tell Ali off for keeping something so major from Buck. But she needed to check on her brother. She couldn’t imagine what was going through his head. 

“Excuse me,” Maddie said, approaching the nurse’s desk. “I’m looking for my brother, Evan Buckley? His daughter was brought in.”

“Maddie.” She turned, hearing a familiar voice. When she saw Eddie, she politely smiled at the nurse before quickly heading over to him.

“Are they okay?”

“Buck and Holly are okay.” Maddie nodded, realizing she now knew her niece’s name. If she wasn’t concerned, she would’ve smiled at that. “But Ali…” He frowned sadly.

“Oh god.” Eddie just nodded. “Buck must be freaking out. Can you show me where he is?” Eddie just nodded again and they started walking. They were both silent. Maddie had no reason to be mad at Ali now. There was no point anymore. Now she just had to be there for her brother.

“He’s in there,” Eddie said, pointing to the room. Maddie went to the door, but stopped.

“Aren’t you coming in?”

“I have to get home,” Eddie said. “My Abuela is watching Christopher but it’s getting late.” Maddie nodded. “Besides, Buck has you and I think, right now, he needs his sister.”

“He’s going to need all of us,” Maddie said and Eddie nodded. 

“Well luckily, we’re all going to be there for him.” Maddie nodded with a smile. “Let Buck know I had to head home.”

“Sure. Thanks Eddie.” He nodded and then turned to leave. Maddie let out a sigh before walking into the room.

Buck was standing, staring down at a bassinet. She could see the creases on his forehead, showing that he was deep in thought.

“Buck.” He looked up and the worry melted away to relief. He crossed to her and pulled her into a hug. “I’m so sorry.” She heard Buck sniffle and she just tightened her hold on him.

“God, I’m freaking out Maddie.” She pulled away and looked up at him. She could see the fear on his face.

“We’re going to figure this out, okay?” Buck nodded and she smiled a little. “Now, can I meet my niece?” Buck nodded and went back to the bassinet. Maddie watched with a smile as Buck picked the infant up. For as much panic as he was going through, there was a look of pure adoration on his face as he held his daughter. 

“Holly,” Buck said, walking over to Maddie and he cradled the baby. “This is your aunt Maddie.” He gently passed the baby to Maddie. 

“Hi sweet girl,” Maddie cooed. She smiled seeing those same baby blues that Buck had. She flashed back to a moment in her life, when Buck was born and she held him for the first time. She remembered how small he seemed, how fragile she thought the baby was. She remembered deciding the minute she held her little brother that she was going to protect him and look out for him. And now, her little brother was an adult, much bigger and taller than that tiny baby she had held many moons ago. And yet, he still needed her and she would still be there for him. That would never change. 

“You’re a natural.” She glanced up at her brother and smiled. 

“I was an ER nurse for years,” Maddie said. “I’ve held a few babies in my life.” 

“I guess you’ll get a little free practice,” Buck said, glancing down at her stomach. She was out of the first trimester, and starting to show. She remembered how excited Buck had been when she told him. Buck loved kids and loved the idea of being an uncle. But it was clear being a dad scared him. 

“Buck,” Maddie began getting her brother’s attention. “I know you’re scared. I know all of this is scary. But you’re not alone and neither is Holly.”

“Maddie.”

“No,” Maddie said with a shake of her head. “We’re all going to help you through this. That’s what family does.” Buck sniffed a little, tears springing to his eyes.

“Thank you.” Maddie nodded with a supportive smile before glancing down at Holly. She was going to make sure her brother and niece were okay. She had been doing that her whole life. She certainly wasn’t going to stop now.

* * *

Buck had felt some of his fear melt away when Maddie had shown up. There was something about his big sister that always made him feel safe. Even as he got older and outgrew Maddie by almost a foot, he always felt at ease and safe when she was around. So, even though his brain was a mess of fears and worries, Maddie being there made his thoughts a little less loud.

Until the social worker walked in.

“Mr. Buckley?” Buck had just set Holly down after burping her. Maddie had convinced the nurse to let Buck feed Holly. He had been petrified at first, but Maddie talked him through it.

“Is something wrong?” Maddie asked, noticing the look on the woman’s face. 

“I just need to speak with Mr. Buckley,” The social worker said, glancing between Maddie and Buck. 

“She’s my sister,” Buck said. “Anything you can say to me, you can say with her present.” The social worker just nodded.

“My name is Alicia Sharpe. I’m with Child Protective Services.” Buck tensed up, terrified of what that meant. But Maddie gently tapped his arm. 

“CPS is called anytime a child is brought into the ER.” Buck just nodded, mountains of worry still flying through him.

“I understand this is a difficult time,” She continued. “But my job is to make sure that the child is safe once she leaves the hospital.” Buck sucked in a breath, not liking how that sounded.

“You’re not…” He glanced over at Holly and felt his chest tighten, panic rising through him. “You’re not going to take Holly away, are you?”

“That is not the plan, no.” Buck wanted to breathe a sigh of relief, but was still too worried to relax. “But I think we need to make sure Holly is going to a home that is safe and has everything she needs.”

“She will be,” Maddie said, her tone meant to be reassuring.

“Well, I’d like to see for myself before the doctors send Holly home.” Buck just nodded, a sinking feeling pitting its way into his stomach. “I can come by the day after tomorrow to do a welfare check.” Again, all Buck could do was nod. He was worried if he spoke, it would give away how terrified he truly was. The social worker offered him a sympathetic smile. “Again, I just want to assure you that all of this is just to make sure that the child is safe and healthy.”

“Of course,” Maddie said, noticing Buck’s silence. “Why don’t we go outside and I can give you my brother’s address.”

As soon as Maddie and the social worker were gone, Buck let out a strained gasp. He didn’t have anything in his apartment for Holly. It wasn’t safe for a baby. What if the social worker saw that and determined Buck to be an unfit parent? He felt panic claw up his chest as tears pricked at his eyes. 

“Buck.” Maddie was shaking his arm, but all he saw was the social worker taking Holly away. “Buck, breathe.” He gasped for air as he tried to calm down.

“Maddie,” He choked out, tears clouding his vision. Maddie just pulled him into a hug. He buried his face in the collar of her shirt, tears bleeding into the fabric. 

“We’ll figure this out.” He knew she was trying to assure him, but it wasn’t enough. Words weren’t enough. He needed to know that he wasn’t going to lose his daughter after months of not knowing she existed.

“I don’t have anything,” Buck said, pulling away from Maddie. “I don’t…”

“Buck, just breathe.” Buck nodded and took a long breath. “Just stay here with Holly, okay?”

“But what about…”

“Leave that to me. This is what big sister’s are for.” She patted his arm gently and then left the room. Buck wiped at his eyes before walking over to where Holly was sleeping. He was trying to stay calm, to not fall into the swell of pure panic sparking its way through him. But it was futile. He was a mess. He loved Holly so much already. All he wanted was to prove that he deserved to be her dad.

* * *

“Chimney?”

“ _Hey Maddie. How’s Buck?_ ” Maddie sighed. “ _So, not great_?”

“He’s panicking and he needs our help,” Maddie said.

“ _Well then, what do you need me to do_?”

“Call everyone,” Maddie continued. “We’re going to need the whole cavalry for this.” She was already compiling a list in her head. There was a lot to do, but she knew they could get it all done. They would get it all done. Buck would help any of them in a heartbeat. It was their turn to return the favor. “And have everyone meet at Buck’s apartment.”

“ _Got it_.” Maddie ended the call and let out a sigh. Then, with a renewed confidence, she went back to go find Buck.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I don’t even know how I’m supposed to baby-proof my apartment,” Buck said, panic twisting in him as it had over the last day. “Aren’t the stairs a safety hazard?”

Buck sighed as he followed Eddie down the hall to his apartment. He didn’t want to leave Holly alone, but Maddie had agreed to stay with her.

“I don’t even know how I’m supposed to baby-proof my apartment,” Buck said, panic twisting in him as it had over the last day. “Aren’t the stairs a safety hazard?” Eddie stopped him and put his hands on Buck’s shoulders.

“Just take a deep breath, okay?” Buck nodded and did just that. “I know you’re worried, but your apartment is already kid-safe.”

“But how do you know?”

“Buck, think about how many times Christopher has been there,” Eddie pointed out. “Your apartment is safe, we just have to add a few things, okay?”

“Sorry,” Buck grumbled and Eddie offered him a smile. His thumb ran along the collar of Buck’s shirt in a comforting manner. If Buck hadn’t been so panicked, he would have blushed from the feeling.

“Look, this is a lot in a short amount of time.” Buck nodded. “But you’re not alone, okay?” Buck sighed and Eddie watched him with a patient expression. “Let’s just go into your apartment.” Buck nodded and unlocked the door, trying to ignore the sinking feeling constantly settling in the pit of his stomach. 

That feeling drastically changed when he was met with a truly surprising sigh. 

Hen, Chimney, Bobby, and Athena were in his apartment. They were surrounded by boxes and bags. Buck couldn’t help but stare wide-eye at all of it. He knew Maddie had made some phone calls and said she would help, but he certainly hadn't been expecting this.

“Hey Buckaroo,” Athena said with a smile. 

“What…” Buck’s voice trailed off staring at everything and unable to compose his thoughts into actual sentences. 

“Madde called in the cavalry,” Chimney said with a smirk. 

“I told you that you weren’t alone,” Eddie said gently. Buck nodded, trying not to cry. The last day had been the most stressful of his life and he had felt like he was drowning in panic. But everyone was there to help him. They had come over with boxes of stuff and were ready to assist in whatever he needed. It reminded him of how lucky he was to have all of these people in his life. Buck sniffed feeling tears prick at the corner of his eyes. He tried to hide it, but Athena stepped forward and pulled him into a hug.

“We’ve got you, Buckaroo.” Buck nodded and pulled away, trying to subtly wipe at his eyes. 

“Thank you,” Buck said, looking at everyone. He was full of gratitude and he wanted to express that, but he was also sure that he’d start really crying if he said anything more.

“Why don’t we get started?” Bobby offered and Buck nodded. 

“What’s in all of these boxes?”

“A whole cornucopia of baby stuff,” Chimney said. “To start, we’ve got a crib that needs assembling, baby gates for the top and bottom of your stairs, and a high chair.”

“Just tell us what you need first,” Hen said, patting his arm. 

“Well the gates and crib are the most important,” Buck said. 

“I’ve got recent crib assembling experience,” Hen said. “Chim, you wanna give me a hand?”

“Suppose I should practice,” Chimney said. “You want it upstairs Buck?” Buck nodded and Hen and Chimney grabbed some of the boxes before heading upstairs. 

“I can set up the gates,” Bobby said. “And then we should talk about your very empty fridge.”

“I haven’t been able to go grocery shopping,” Buck said. “I need to though. One of the nurses was going on and on about specific types of formula. It was a lot.”

“Hen can help with that,” Athena said. “She and Karen know all the right brands and proportions.”

“It’s just a lot,” Buck said quietly. He wanted to get it all right and prove that he was a capable parent. But it was so much information in a short amount of time and it all made his head spin. 

“That’s why we’re here,” Bobby said. “We’re going to help you through this.” Buck nodded and Eddie patted his shoulder. 

“Let’s fix up your living room,” Eddie said as Bobby and Athena set to working on the baby gates. “I never understood why you have weights here, but we should move them.”

“Biceps like these don’t just happen, Eddie.” Eddie glanced at Buck’s arms, his gaze traveling over both of Buck’s biceps. Buck felt his cheeks heat up from Eddie’s gaze. “But we can put them in the closet.” Eddie just nodded, following Buck to the living room. Normally, Buck would overthink that look. But, he had so much to do and little time to do it. 

He could deal with whatever that look was later.

* * *

A few hours later, everyone was gathered around Buck’s dining room table. Buck was showing everyone pictures of Holly. He couldn’t help but grin at the smiles on everyone’s faces.

“Well she is absolutely adorable,” Athena said. “And I can’t wait to meet her in person.”

“Speaking of,” Chimney said, getting up. “I promised Maddie I’d bring her lunch.”

“Oh, so you’re just going to brag about how you get to go meet that adorable little bundle of joy,” Hen said and Chimney chuckled. He glanced at Buck, who just offered him a smile. 

“Well, I guess Holly should meet her Uncle Chim.” Chimney smiled at that and patted Buck’s arm before leaving. Buck let out a little sigh, trying to mask that it was actually a yawn. But Bobby caught it. 

“When’s the last time you slept?” Buck shrugged and Bobby gave him a look. 

“I’m fine.”

“That wasn’t the question,” Bobby said and Buck sighed. 

“I’ve got too much to do,” Buck said. “I can’t just…”

“You can and you will,” Athena said, her voice showing she wasn’t messing around. Buck went to say something but she leveled him with a look. He let out a long sigh, having learned over the last few years to not mess with Athena when she was serious. “You’re going to get some rest and we’ll take care of what’s left.”

“Fine,” Buck said with a sigh. 

“You’ll thank us later,” Athena said. “Now go. Before I make one of them watch you until I know you’re asleep.”

“That’s not creepy at all,” Buck grumbled and Athena gave him a look. He huffed before heading up the stairs. He didn’t know how he’d be able to sleep with so much on his mind. And yet, it was clear he was exhausted because as soon as his head hit the pillow, he was out like a light.

* * *

When Buck woke up, he could hear voices gently echoing through his apartment. He sat up slowly, rubbing his eyes as he did. He tried to pinpoint whose voices he was hearing, but they were being quiet (probably because they thought he was still asleep). So, he got up and headed downstairs. 

“Buck!” Buck smiled as Christopher made his way over to him. He squatted down and hugged the boy. 

“What are you doing here, Superman?”

“I’m helping!” Buck chuckled and looked around for Eddie. He spotted the brunette standing up, a fully assembled changing table next to him. 

“Well look at that,” Buck said with a smile. “I’m lucky you were here then, huh?”

“He’s the best helper I know,” Eddie said, walking over to him. He ruffled his son’s hair and Christopher just beamed at him. “But now, someone needs to finish that birthday card they started for Pepa.”

“Can we play video games after?” Eddie glanced at Buck, knowing his friend probably wanted to get back to Holly. 

“Finish the card and then we’ll talk, okay?” Christopher nodded and headed towards the dining room table. Buck watched him go with a smile on his face. When he looked back at Eddie, he noticed the brunette was watching him, a soft smile on his face. Buck cleared his throat and then looked at the changing table.

“I guess we should get this upstairs,” Buck said, nodding to the table. 

“Yeah it’s a two man job.” Buck nodded and then they worked in a quiet tandem, getting the changing table up the stairs.

“Your fridge is full of food,” Eddie said after they set it next to the crib. “And Hen left very detailed instructions on formula.” Buck sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Any calm he had achieved from his nap had swirled away, replaced with the same panic he had been feeling all day. “You okay?”

“I’m just trying to process it all,” Buck said, sitting down on the bed. “Two days ago I didn’t know I even had a daughter. And now? Now I have to get all of this stuff sorted as fast as possible so I can be deemed fit to raise her on my own.”

“Being a single parent isn’t easy.”

“I don’t know how you do it Eds,” Buck said as Eddie sat down next to him. “You make it look so easy.” One of the things Buck admired about Eddie was how good of a dad he was. Christopher was always his first priority and the reason he did just about anything. Buck could only hope he could be like that (and that his admiration appeared as admiration and not the other thing which he hardly had time to think about currently). 

“It’s different,” Eddie said. “Christopher is old enough to tell me what he needs.” Buck just nodded. “You know, you’re allowed to be freaked out about raising an infant.”

“I just don’t want to screw up.” He looked at Eddie who had pursed his lips.

“Can I be honest with you?” Buck nodded. “You will. Hell, I have with Christopher a million times. That’s parenting. But he doesn’t love me any less and Holly won’t love you any less.”

“I just love her so much already,” Buck explained. “It’s been two days and I just want to protect her and keep her safe from everything in the world.”

“That’s what being a parent is,” Eddie said with a smile. “And you’re going to be a great one.”

“You think so?”

“I know so.” Eddie’s hand patted Buck’s thigh and Buck felt a blush creep up his cheeks. He glanced up at his best friend and noticed Eddie watching him, his gaze a little more heated than Buck expected. When his tongue darted out to subtly lick at his lips, Buck felt his heart skip a beat. It would’ve been so easy to lean over and kiss him, to finally know what those lips felt like, to know if it lived up to what he had imagined. 

“Dad!” They must’ve been moving towards each other without noticing because when Christopher’s voice echoed through the apartment, they both jumped back from each other. “I finished the card!”

“Just a second buddy,” Eddie called down. He looked at Buck and Buck felt like his heart was beating too fast. “I should um…”

“Yeah.” Both of their cheeks were red with embarrassment. Eddie got up, ready to say something, but then shut his mouth. He quickly retreated down the stairs and Buck could only watch him go. 

He always thought his feelings were one-sided, but he was starting to question that notion. Did Eddie feel the same way he felt? But he was too mixed up with thinking about Holly and the visit from the social worker to know for sure. So, with another sigh, Buck headed downstairs, telling himself to act as normal as possible.

* * *

Buck felt like he was going to vomit the whole time the social worker was looking at his apartment. Panic had found its way back into his chest, trying to claw its way up, taking his breath away. Everyone had assured him that the place was perfect. But he was a panicked mess simply watching her poke around and check items off her list. 

He had spent most of the previous evening at the hospital trying not to freak out. When Holly was awake, he was somewhat distracted. But she was an infant and was apparently able to sleep through the night. And now, he didn’t have her there at all. Bobby and Athena were at the hospital so Maddie could be with Buck and so Buck wouldn’t panic about Holly being alone.

Finally, the social worker was done. Buck watched her, feeling a tightness in his chest. He waited for her to say something, wondering if he’d have a panic attack before she got to speaking and if that would ruin his chances. 

“It’s clear you put a lot of work in to make your apartment safe,” She said and Buck just nodded.

“Is it safe enough for his daughter?” Maddie asked. 

“Yes.” Buck choked out a sigh of relief and the social worker smiled. “I can sign off on you bringing her home today.”

“Thank you,” Buck said, finally finding his voice. She nodded and then he walked over to the door and held it open for her. 

“Thank you for your cooperation Mr. Buckley,” She said, moving to the door. “Your daughter is lucky to have you.” Buck smiled and then she left. 

As soon as Buck closed the door, Maddie pulled him into a hug.

“I get to bring her home.” The joy Buck felt was all encompassing. He finally could bring Holly home. He could finally just focus on being her dad.

“I told you it would all work out.” And because Buck was finally going to be able to bring his daughter home, he could only hug Maddie tightly, nodding in agreement.

* * *

Buck smiled as he carried Holly down the hallway. He was finally getting to take her home. After the stress of the last few days, it was nice to be able to take a breath and just focus on being a dad. 

“This outfit May got for Holly is so precious,” Maddie said, shouldering a diaper bag. 

“She’s already offered to buy Holly a whole wardrobe,” Buck said with a smirk. “Athena says it’s because May always wanted a little sister.”

“I know the feeling.”

“I am offended for myself and Harry.” Maddie just rolled her eyes playfully. They stepped outside and Buck cradled Holly a little closer. “Eddie’s bringing your car around, right?”

“Yeah.” Maddie gave him a look, noticing a hesitancy in his voice. Buck had noticed two people, a man and a woman, inside at the desk. They were both talking frantically and the woman looked very upset. Something about them looked familiar.

And then the woman spotted Buck and he knew why. 

“Oh Holly!” They were outside as soon as they noticed Buck. The woman had tears in her eyes and reached for Holly but Buck pulled her closer to his chest. The woman let out a choked sob and the man leveled Buck with a glare. 

“I’m sorry, who are you?” Maddie asked and the woman gasped a little.

“They’re Ali’s parents.” Buck had never met the Martin’s. They didn’t live in California and even when they visited, Buck and Ali hadn’t been dating long enough for him to ever meet them. But Ali had had enough photos of them in her apartment to know what they looked like. 

“And we’re here for our granddaughter,” Mr. Martin said. Maddie gaped a little and glanced at Buck, who was holding Holly protectively. 

“Buck is her father.”

“Some father,” Mr. Martin seethed. “He didn’t even know she existed until a few days ago! Our daughter made a decision for Holly and we are all going to respect that decision. Now, give us our granddaughter.”

“Absolutely not!” Maddie exclaimed as Buck stayed silent. That familiar panic was clawing its way back up. “Just because Ali made a choice doesn’t mean you can keep my brother from being a father to his daughter. He deserves that chance.”

“His profession doesn’t make him a safe choice,” Mrs. Martin said. “Ali made the right choice keeping Holly from him. Not only because of how dangerous his job is but because they were barely together. You were a blip in our daughter’s life. Holly deserves stability and people who know what Ali would have wanted.”

“We’re taking our granddaughter home with us.” Mr. Martin stepped forward and Buck shook his head. 

“No.” His voice came out as harsh as he finally spoke up. “Look, I’m sorry about Ali and I wish she was still here, but her decision a year ago wasn’t fair and it wasn’t right. I’m Holly’s father. She deserves to have at least one of her parents in her life.”

“And what happens if you get hurt again?” Mrs. Martin questioned. “Ali was terrified after what happened to you. What if it happens again? There is no reason to punish Holly to a life with neither of her parents.”

“That’s exactly what you’re trying to do by taking her,” Maddie countered.

“We’re just following our daughter's wishes,” Mr. Martin said. “Perhaps you would understand that if you had known her for more than a few months.”

“Enough.” Holly whined a little at the intensity of Buck’s voice. He lifted her a little, pressing a kiss to her head. That seemed to calm her and he smiled a little before glancing back at the Martin’s.

“She’s my daughter,” Buck said. “I will be the one raising her. End of discussion.”

“We’ll see about that.” And then, they were gone. Buck just held Holly closely, pressing his nose into her tufts of blonde hair, trying to steady his breathing.

“They...they can’t, right?” He looked at Maddie. Now that they were gone, his anger towards the Martin’s had melted away into fear. Fear that the Martin’s could and would take Holly away from him.

“You have Holly and they’re gone now,” Maddie said gently. “Let’s focus on that.” Buck simply nodded, panic still settling in his chest. He didn’t know what the Martin’s were going to do or what they legally could do. He was Holly’s father but Ali had kept Holly from him for so long. Could her decision be enough legal grounds to deem him unfit to raise his own daughter? He was Holly’s dad. Why couldn’t he just be allowed to raise her? Why was the universe punishing him?

“It’s going to be okay,” Maddie promised, sensing Buck’s panic. “Just focus on Holly, okay?” And Buck could only nod, fighting down the overwhelming urge to break down and panic.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie could tell something was wrong the minute Buck got into the car. He had a downtrodden look on his face as he secured Holly into the car seat and got into the back. Eddie wanted to ask what was wrong, but Maddie shot him a look when he went to speak. So, the ride back to Buck’s apartment was silent, Buck just watching Holly sadly.

Eddie could tell something was wrong the minute Buck got into the car. He had a downtrodden look on his face as he secured Holly into the car seat and got into the back. Eddie wanted to ask what was wrong, but Maddie shot him a look when he went to speak. So, the ride back to Buck’s apartment was silent, Buck just watching Holly sadly.

When they reached Buck’s apartment door, Maddie stopped them. 

“Everyone’s here,” Maddie said quietly. “But I can ask them to go home.” Eddie observed the siblings. Obviously he had missed something big, based on Maddie’s gentleness and Buck’s silence. 

“It’s fine,” Buck said. “I just have to put Holly down.”

“Let me go in and ask everyone to be quiet.” Buck nodded and she entered the apartment. While they waited for her to come back, Eddie just watched Buck. He was slowly rocking Holly, who was asleep in his arms. He hated seeing that sad look on Buck’s face. He wanted to do something, to make Buck feel better. But he didn’t even know what was wrong. He was about to say something when Maddie came back out. She just gave him a nod and then Buck was walking in.

“Hey guys,” Buck said as Eddie walked in after him. “Sorry the guest of honor isn’t awake,”

“No worries Buckaroo,” Athena said with a smile. Eddie wasn’t sure if Maddie had said something or if everyone could just read Buck easily. 

“I’m going to go put her down.” Eddie watched him go upstairs, noticing the droop of his shoulders. 

“What the hell happened?” Chimney asked as soon as Buck was gone.

“Ali’s parents showed up.”

“What did they want?” Hen asked.

“Holly.” Everyone exchanged glances but Eddie stared up the stairs. He had a feeling he knew what was going through Buck’s head. So, without a second thought, he headed up the stairs. When Eddie reached the top of the stairs, he wasn’t surprised to find Buck standing over Holly’s crib. He could see that droop that had settled in Buck’s shoulders since they had left the hospital. Eddie walked over and stood silently next to Buck. 

“They want to take her,” Buck said quietly. “I haven’t even gotten a chance to be her dad and they want to take her.” Buck sniffed, trying to hide the tears falling. “I just..why does it feel like everything keeps crashing down on me? Why can’t…” He reached his hand down, one finger wrapping around Holly’s little hand. Even though she was asleep, her fingers curled around his. “I just want to be her dad.”

“We’ll figure this out, Buck,” Eddie said, placing his hand on Buck’s shoulder. He felt Buck crumble a little under his touch. Eddie pulled him into a hug. “We’ve got you Buck. I’ve got you.” Buck just nodded, melting into the hug, muffling his cries in Eddie’s shirt. And Eddie just held on tightly, trying his best to comfort Buck.

* * *

Buck trudged down the stairs, baby monitor in hand, even though he was sure he could hear Holly cry from anywhere in his apartment. A wave of sadness overcame him remembering Ali talking about all the pros of an open-concept apartment.

“Little one down for a nap?” Hen asked as Buck approached everyone. Buck just nodded. “They’re so cute when they sleep. I have way too many photos on my phone of Nia and Denny napping.”

“She just looks really peaceful.” Buck wished he could say he felt the same, but even with his friends and family around, he just felt miserable. 

“Well, we made some food,” Athena said.

“I’m not…”

“It’s lasagna,” Bobby said. “Old family recipe.” Buck pursed his lips, not quite in the mood to eat, but also not wanting to be rude to everyone. Eddie must’ve noticed because he quickly spoke up. 

“If you don’t eat it, then I’m taking it home to Christopher,” Eddie said, patting Buck’s shoulder. Buck couldn’t help but smile a little, knowing what his best friend was trying to do. 

“I mean, that would be way better than anything you’d cook.”

“Oh, so you're the one teaching my kid how to sass me,” Eddie said, pushing his arm. Buck just chuckled, earning a smirk from Eddie. 

“Alright you two,” Bobby said with a fond smile. “Let’s eat. Lasagna’s best when it’s warm.” Everyone moved to sit at the table.

“You know,” Athena said as she spooned lasagna onto everyone’s plates. “I’m going to need a photo of Holly in that outfit so May can see.”

“I’m sure Buck’s phone is already filled with photos of her,” Chimney said with a smirk. 

“Part of being a parent,” Hen said. “You’ll understand soon.” Chimney just glanced at Maddie who wrapped her hand around his.

“The hardest part is deciding which one’s going to be your lock screen,” Eddie said with a smirk.

“Like you don’t change yours every other day,” Buck said, smiling a little. He could tell that the more he was at ease, the more everyone else didn’t have to walk on eggshells around him.

“Between Carla, my Abuela, and you I have way too many options.” Buck chuckled at that. Something about Eddie mentioning Carla made Buck realize that there was one more thing he had to worry about; work. Bobby had given him a few days off, from vacation days he had banked up that he never used. But he’d have to go back eventually. And then, who would take care of Holly? Maddie must’ve noticed the shift from ease to unease, because she just reached for his hand. 

“Evan?”

“Sorry,” Buck said. “Just uh, realized something and it just…” He glanced at Bobby. “With work…” Bobby shook his head.

“The department allows for six weeks of paternity leave.” Buck raised an eyebrow, shocked by that information. 

“I didn’t...I didn’t know that.”

“I already started the paperwork for you,” Bobby said and Buck couldn’t help but look at Bobby with a shocked expression. Bobby just offered him a kind smile in return. “It’s department policy. And, it’ll help you figure things out.”

“Thank you Bobby.” Bobby nodded and Buck fought the sigh that was constantly pushing out of him. He wanted to say this was getting easier. But every time he felt like he was getting the hang of something, it felt like another thing just came crashing down. It felt like he was in a crash course on how to be a parent and he was failing at every turn.

“So Athena.” Maddie, always the observant big sister, noticed Buck’s silence. “How’s shopping for May’s dorm going?” Athena smiled and jumped into the conversation. As she spoke, Buck sent a small smile to Maddie, who squeezed his hand in return. He wanted to be grateful for everyone around him and all the help they were providing. But his confrontation with Ali’s parents was still rumbling around in his brain. So, he just tried to listen to the conversation and not worry about the things he couldn’t control.

* * *

“Dad, come on!” Eddie followed Christopher down the hallway, his son walking as quickly as he could to get to Buck’s apartment. Christopher had asked when Eddie got home from work if he could see Buck. And even though Eddie had been there everyday since Buck found out about Holly, he was more than willing to drive back with his son. He was worried about Buck after-all. And he had started his paternity leave, meaning Eddie wasn’t seeing him at work. Not to mention, there was that moment in his loft the other day.

Eddie was starting to realize just how deep his feelings were for Buck. But Buck was also going through a lot. Eddie couldn’t broach the topic. Buck had way too much going on and Eddie couldn’t be that selfish. But, he could be a good friend. And seeing Christopher would definitely make Buck feel better. That was one thing they both had in common and that made Eddie smile. 

Eddie shook those thoughts away as they reached the door. He needed to focus on being a good friend at the moment. He glanced at Christopher, who smiled at him, before knocking on the door.

The door opened revealing a wide-eyed Buck and a crying infant. 

“Oh,” He said before letting them in. “Sorry, just having a moment over here.” Eddie let Christopher walk in before closing the door behind them. 

“Holly or you?” Eddie asked and Buck just huffed out a breath. “Ah, so both.”

“I’ve tried everything,” Buck said. “And she’s still crying.” 

“She’s probably just fussy,” Eddie said. Buck sighed and Eddie just chuckled. “Here, let’s trade. You go say hi to my kid and I’ll hang out with yours.” Buck just nodded and passed Eddie the infant. He glanced over at Christopher, who had made himself comfy in front of the TV.

“Not that I’m complaining, but why are you guys here?”

“He wanted to see you,” Eddie said. “And I figured that smile was a cure for the kind of day you’ve been having.” Buck smiled a little before heading over to Christopher. Eddie glanced down at Holly, who wasn’t screaming anymore but was still whining. 

“You gotta give your dad a break little one,” Eddie said, rocking her in his arms. “He’s had a rough few days.” Holly just gurgled, still whining a little in Eddie’s arms. Even though she was still being fussy, she was a really cute baby.  _ Of course she is, she’s Buck’s kid _ , Eddie couldn’t help but think. He glanced over at his best friend, who was talking with Christopher, a grin on both of their faces. Buck looked up then and the grin turned to something soft as he watched Eddie hold Holly. It made Eddie’s heart pound watching Buck watch him. 

“So, what do you guys want to do for dinner?” Buck asked, glancing at Christopher. Eddie let out a breath before walking over to them. He just had to focus on being a good friend.

* * *

“Hey Buck?” The four of them were finishing up dinner. Eddie was cleaning up, so Buck could get Holly out of the high chair. The infant just giggled as Buck picked her up. 

“What’s up buddy?” Christopher looked shyly at Holly who was in Buck’s arms. 

“Can…” His voice was quieter than Buck had ever heard. “Can I hold Holly?” A smile crossed Buck’s face. He glanced over at Eddie, who was also grinning at the interaction. “I’ll be really careful. I promise.”

“I know you will buddy,” Buck said. God, he adored Christopher. He truly was the best kid. “Let’s go over to the couch.” Christopher nodded as Eddie came over and handed Christopher his crutches. They all made their way over to the couch, Christopher sitting in the middle.

“Just remember to be gentle, okay Christopher?” Christopher nodded. Buck just watched the two of them with a smile. After the day he had had, it was nice to just spend time with the two people he felt the most comfortable around. He remembered a time that felt like ages ago, when he, Eddie, and Christopher were having a video game night. Eddie had said their time together was better than therapy. Buck was starting to understand that as he watched them. 

“Alright just hold still buddy,” Buck said and Christopher nodded, doing as Buck told him. Buck gently lowered Holly into his lap. Holly stared at Christopher, babbling a little. Christopher looked a little uncertain at first, but a smile stretched across his face when Holly’s babbles turned into giggles. 

“She’s so little.” Buck just chuckled.

“You used to be that little,” Eddie said, ruffling his son’s hair. “And now you’re growing up too much for my liking.” Buck just observed all three of them with a smile on his face. He had been so wound up since the accident and finding out about Holly, that he had felt like he barely had a moment to breathe. But now, sitting here with Holly, Eddie, and Christopher, he finally felt calm. Maybe he was still worried about Ali’s parents, but everyone kept reassuring him it would be fine.

And as Eddie and Christopher looked over at him, nearly identical smiles, and Holly giggled, reaching her arms out for him, he couldn’t help but feel like maybe things would be okay.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Sorry you don’t get to spend twenty four hours a day with him.”
> 
> “He’s my best friend.”
> 
> “Sure, that’s why you do it.”

Eddie sighed as he sat down on the couch in the station. They had just gotten back from a series of calls. Normally, even on days when they were going to back-to-back calls, Eddie didn’t feel so tired. But then again, he always had Buck by his side. 

Buck was on paternity leave and Hen had teased him from the first day that it was clear he was missing working with Buck. Well, Eddie was finally ready to admit that he didn’t like working without him. He worked well with everyone but there was an ease to working with Buck; he knew they had each other’s backs. Working with other people at the station was weird. He’d been partnered with several people over the course of Buck’s paternity leave and all of them felt off. There had been Bishop, who called him Diaz even though Eddie asked him not to. There had been Stevens who didn’t talk at all (which after working with Buck was honestly a little scary). And today, he had been paired with Hall, who told corny jokes every five seconds.. 

And all of it made him miss Buck. 

He knew Buck needed this time to figure out raising and taking care of Holly. And it wasn’t like he wasn’t seeing Buck. He had pretty much spent most of his free time either with Buck or talking on the phone with Buck. His friend needed the support because he was raising a child alone with the possible looming threat of Ali’s parents (who hadn’t contacted Buck again, but Buck was still paranoid). But working without him was boring and a little frustrating. 

“Don’t hurt yourself thinking too hard.” He looked up to see Hen sitting down on the other side of the couch. He gave her a look and she chuckled. “You looked like you were deep in thought.”

“Just missing having a good partner at work.” Hen chuckled, a knowing smile crossing her face. “What?”

“Sorry you don’t get to spend twenty four hours a day with him.”

“He’s my best friend.”

“Sure, that’s why you do it.” He gave Hen a look, wondering if he was that obvious. Then again, how could he be obvious when he didn’t even know what he felt half the time. Hen just chuckled. “Boy, you got it bad and it’s been written all over your face for ages.” Eddie blanched at the comment before he felt his ears turn red. 

“I don't…” Hen gave him a look and Eddie sighed. “Is it that obvious?”

“Only if you’re looking,” Hen said. “And I guarantee Bobby and Chim aren't.” Eddie sighed a little. “Any reason why you haven’t crossed that line?”

“Tons actually.” She squinted at him and he sighed before continuing. “Let’s see there’s work, he’s my best friend and I don’t want to lose him, my kid adores him and I don’t want to jeopardize that, and most importantly, right now, he’s a little busy figuring out how to be a dad.”

“Doesn’t mean you can’t…”

“I don’t want to overwhelm him, Hen,” Eddie said. “I don’t want to be selfish when he’s going through a lot. Over the course of less than a week, he found out he was a dad, found out that Ali had been keeping that from him, became a single parent, had to have his place checked over by a social worker, and then had to deal with Ali’s parents. He’s finally getting a chance to breathe and figure things out. So it’s really not the right time.”

“Eddie, there’s never a right time,” Hen said. “Do you think there was ever a right time for me and Karen at the start? No. But if someone’s worth it, you have to go for it.”

“I just need to support him while he figures the whole parenting thing out,” Eddie said. Hen just shook her head and sighed. “Besides, I don’t think he’s even interested.” Hen snorted at that.

“That boy has been interested in you since the moment he saw you in the locker room.”

“But…” Hen gave him a look and he furrowed his eyebrows. “Really?”

“You two are the most oblivious people I know,” Hen said, getting up. “Whatever you’re feeling, it’s mutual. The question is, what are you going to do about it?” She walked away, leaving Eddie to think. He had never considered if Buck was really interested in him. Sure, there were signs that said maybe, but Eddie also was, as Hen pointed out, kind of oblivious. Shannon had been the one to suggest they go on their first date when Eddie hadn’t even been sure if she was interested in him. But clearly Hen saw that both parties wanted something more. So, the question was, did Eddie do something about that and be selfish or keep it to himself? 

Luckily, the alarm went off and he was able to put that aside for just a little while longer.

* * *

Eddie smiled as he pulled into his driveway. Buck’s car was parked on the street, meaning he had either just arrived or was already in the house. Eddie had convinced Buck to come to his house, since he had barely left his own apartment since he brought Holly home. He did take Holly around the neighborhood in the stroller, but that was it and Eddie felt it was best to convince Buck to get out before he stressed himself out by going stir-crazy. 

He hopped out of his truck, seeing Buck getting out of his car. Eddie grabbed his bag and then headed over to Buck’s car. 

“Need a hand?” 

“Can you grab Holly?” Buck asked. “I’ve got a bunch of stuff.” Eddie just chuckled but nodded, moving his bag so he could scoop Holly out of her carseat. Eddie just watched as Buck pulled a few bags out of the car. 

“Moving in?” Eddie asked, amusement in his voice. 

“Babies need so much,” Buck said, pushing the door shut with his foot. “I’ve got a diaper bag, a bag with bottles, and toys and a mat for her to sit or lie on. And of course, Holly.” He poked the infant in Eddie’s arms in the stomach and she giggled. That earned a smile from Buck. 

“Well Holly’s lucky her dad is so thorough.”

“I feel like you’re mocking me.”

“Never.” Buck rolled his eyes and Eddie smirked.

“And I’m not that thorough,” Buck said with a sigh. “I still have no idea what to do about childcare. I mean, I go back to work in a few days and I have no idea what I’m supposed to do. I mean, Maddie can watch her on her days off but that’s not going to be an option in a few months. And I just feel so stupid for not having figured this out sooner.”

“You’ve been focusing on what’s important,” Eddie said. “Raising Holly. You’re figuring it all out. And you will figure this out too. No need to freak out.” Buck sighed and Eddie used his free hand to pat Buck’s shoulder gently. “Now come on, let’s get you both settled.” Buck nodded and they headed towards the house. Eddie pushed open the door just as Carla walked into the foyer. 

“I was wondering what you were doing outside for so long,” Carla said with her hands on her hips. “But then I saw my favorite Buckaroo and all was forgiven.” Eddie chuckled and glanced at Buck who just smiled as Carla pulled him into a hug. “And there’s my favorite little bundle of cuteness.” Buck smiled as he sat the bags down that he was carrying. Carla held her arms out and Eddie passed her the infant.

“She is too cute for words,” Carla said. 

“But you keep finding them.”

“I sure do.” Eddie watched them with a fond expression. He always admired the bond between Buck and Carla and how close they managed to stay so close ever after all this time. “I mean, obviously she’s a cutie pie, she looks just like you.”

“She’s got Ali’s nose,” Buck said, a hint of sadness. Eddie went to say something when Holly whined a little. Buck quickly swooped in, extricating Holly from Carla’s arms. “Eddie, can you pass me the second bag? I think I need to feed her.” Eddie handed him the bag and Buck headed towards the kitchen. 

Eddie just watched him go, a soft sigh escaping his mouth. Buck had hardly mentioned Ali and if he did, it was about her parents. How could he want to be selfish enough to pursue something there when Buck hadn’t even properly mourned Ali. Sure, the two had been over for a while, but they shared a child. Buck would eventually have to deal with losing her.

“That boy is already doing amazing.” Eddie glanced at Carla. “Some people would’ve freaked out about that kind of news.”

“Not Buck,” Eddie said. “He dove straight in.” Carla nodded. “Doesn’t stop him from panicking about everything he does. He was just panicking about childcare options for Holly when he goes back to work.” Then, a lightbulb went off. He looked over at Carla, who just raised an eyebrow. 

“Can I run something by you?” He asked. Carla just nodded and Eddie smiled, an idea already forming in his head.

* * *

Buck carefully patted Holly’s back as he moved around the kitchen. Christopher was sitting at the table, homework spread out in front of him. He had stopped when Buck entered, a grin on his face. Christopher had then started telling Buck about school and the new friends he was making in fourth grade. Buck just nodded along, attempting to listen as best as he could. He, of course, was failing to fully focus. 

His time off for paternity leave had been extremely helpful. He felt like he had finally developed a good routine in taking care of Holly. But now he was going to be changing all of that to go back to work. He couldn’t help but worry that he was making the wrong decision. Holly’s life had already changed so much over the last six weeks. Wouldn’t it throw her off more for him to go back to work and not be around? Was it selfish of him to go back to work when his focus needed to be his daughter? And would going back to work just prove to the Martin’s that he wasn’t a fit parent?

“Buck?” He was pulled out of his spiral of thoughts by Christopher, who was staring at him. 

“Sorry buddy,” Buck said. 

“It’s okay Buck,” Christopher said with a smile. “Dad gets distracted sometimes too. The other day he burned part of dinner because he was thinking too hard.” 

“Sold out by my own kid.” Buck turned his head seeing Eddie walk in with Carla.

“Like you need a distraction to burn food,” Buck countered. “What was that charming phrase your Abuela called you?”

“Kitchen disaster!” Christopher cheered and Buck chuckled. 

“They’re so mean to me,” Eddie said glancing at Carla.

“But you are a disaster in the kitchen,” Carla pointed out and Eddie rolled his eyes. 

“You all can’t hang up on me,” Eddie said. “It’s just not fair.”

“Well Holly can be on your side,” Buck offered. “Mostly because she doesn’t have to eat your food.” Christopher giggled loudly at that and Eddie rolled his eyes again, but there was a playful smile on his face.

“Alright enough with the teasing,” Eddie said. “Christopher, did you finish your homework?”

“Yep! Can I go watch TV now?”

“Just until dinner.” Christopher nodded and made his way out of the room. Buck glanced at Eddie who he noticed was exchanging a glance with Carla.

“So Buckaroo,” Carla began. “I was a little offended when Eddie said you didn’t know what to do for childcare. I mean, I am right here.”

“Wait, what?” Buck looked confused and Eddie just smirked, patting his shoulder. “But...I don’t want to take you away from helping Eddie.”

“Who says I can’t do both?” Carla asked. 

“Christopher is in school all day,” Eddie pointed out. “And they have different needs.” Buck just furrowed his brow, still looking unsure.

“I’ll let you handle this,” Carla said, glancing at Eddie. “And you.” She pointed at Buck. “Call me tomorrow about this.” Buck just glanced at Eddie, his mouth slightly agape as Carla left.

“Eddie,” Buck started to speak, but Eddie shook his head.

“Buck you introduced me to Carla when I needed help,” Eddie said. “Now, you need the help. And she’s more than willing to help both of us.”

“But.” Buck just stared at Eddie trying to comprehend. Eddie just offered him a smile and Buck sighed. “I don’t know why you’re helping me so much, but I really appreciate it.”

“After everything you’ve done for me?” Eddie just stepped a little closer, placing his hand on Buck’s shoulder. “Buck, you’ve been there for me time and time again. This is the least I could do for you.” Buck looked at Eddie, his eyes locking with Eddie’s. He felt his heart beat a little faster watching Eddie. Eddie just held his gaze, a kind smile on his face. It felt like the moment in his loft, weeks ago. Both then and this moment made Buck wonder if Eddie felt more than just friendship for him.

He was about to ask, when Holly let out a whine.

“Thank you,” Buck simply said, stepping back and rocking Holly. “I just..thank you Eddie.” 

“I’ve got your back, Buck.” Buck just smiled at that. He still had a few questions about what was really going on with them, but that could wait. 

Just like everything else, he could figure it out with time.

* * *

“You’re going to be fine.” Buck let out an exasperated sigh as he put the bowl and glasses in the sink. He turned to face Eddie who was watching him. It had been Eddie’s idea to have a video game night. Buck, of course, hadn’t wanted that, since he was a bundle of nerves. He was going back to work the next day and he was pretty panicked about it. Yes, he knew he could still do his job. He was more worried about not being around his daughter. 

“I just,” Buck said, crossing his arms over his chest. “What if she needs me? What if something happens and I’m not there? What if Ali’s parents use this as a reason for why I shouldn’t raise her?”

“Okay first,” Eddie said, walking over to Buck. “If anything happens, Carla will be there and we both know she’s the most capable person on this planet. And second, Ali’s parents have been radio silent since the whole hospital incident. I don’t think you have to worry about them.”

“You left out the first one,” Buck said and Eddie raised an eyebrow. “What if she needs me?”

“Well my answer to that won’t get you to work in time,” Eddie admitted and Buck tilted his head. “Our kids are always going to need us. It’s part of being a parent.” He glanced over to the living room where Christopher was fast asleep on the couch. “Part of them growing up is letting go, little by little.”

“Says the guy who almost didn’t let his kid go to sleep-away camp.” Eddie turned back to Buck with a snort. 

“But I did and it was the best thing for him,” Eddie said. “Just like you going back to work will be for Holly.” Buck sighed and Eddie pursed his lips. “Buck, what is this really about?”

“My job is why Ali didn’t tell me,” Buck said softly, a sadness to his voice. “My job is why Ali’s parents thought I didn’t deserve to raise Holly.” He glanced up towards the loft, where Holly was sleeping. “Am I...am I making the wrong choice?”

“Buck, you love being a firefighter.”

“Yeah but before I didn’t have anything to lose.” Eddie raised an eyebrow at that. What did Buck mean before? Did he really think that little of himself?

“What the hell are you talking about?” Eddie asked. “Of course you’ve had things to lose.”

“I mean, not really,” Buck said, leaning back against the counter. “Like sure, my sister lives here but she has Chimney and her job and her friends from work. And I have everyone at the 118, but it’s not like they’d be lost without me.”

“And what about me?” Eddie asked, the words slipping out before he could think it through. Buck’s eyes widened a little at that and Eddie blushed a little. “And Christopher.” Eddie quickly added in, feeling his ears heat up slightly. “What about us? What would we be without you?”

“You would be fine,” Buck said quietly. Eddie shook his head, moving closer to Buck.

“Like hell we would.” Buck just watched him, his blue eyes watching Eddie with an almost petrified look, like Eddie was about to shatter his world. “Aren’t we something important? Aren’t you worried about losing us?”

“Every day,” Buck said quietly. “But that’s not because of my job. That’s because…” His voice trailed off and he looked away. But Eddie moved closer, until he was barely inches away from Buck. 

“Because of what?” Eddie asked, his heart thumping as he watched Buck. 

“I know I’ll lose you one day because you’re going to fall in love with someone,” Buck said, avoiding Eddie’s eyes. “You’re going to find someone who loves you and Chris and who will make both of you happy. So, I don’t have to worry about losing you. I already know I am.”

Eddie was taken aback by the pain in Buck’s words. He didn’t know how Buck could think that, that Eddie would just find someone else and push him aside. He didn’t know how Buck could believe that Eddie would want someone else. And yet, maybe it was because that thing they were always circling around was so undefined. 

“You’d never lose me,” Eddie said fiercely. He tipped Buck’s chin up, forcing the blonde to look at him. “And I don’t need to find someone who loves me and who loves Christopher. I already found them.”

“Eddie,” Buck whispered, feeling his breath catch in his throat. It all sounded too good to be true. He wanted to believe it, but he didn’t know if he could. He just watched Eddie, unable to move or speak. Eddie felt his heart thumping loudly as he stared back at Buck. He was fighting everything in him that said to do something. But he felt selfish putting that all out there when Buck was going through so much. 

And then Buck glanced down at his lips and Eddie felt his resolve go out the window. 

“Oh screw it,” Eddie mumbled. He closed the distance between them, pressing Buck back into the counter. He felt Buck gasp a little as his lips hovered over Buck’s. The feeling of Buck’s breath on his lips made his knees feel weak but he held his ground, his hands coming up to cradle Buck’s face. 

And then he brought their lips together.

The kiss felt like everything Eddie had been waiting for, like he hadn’t truly lived until that moment. His heart started beating out a wild rhythm as Buck’s hands landed at his hips, pulling Eddie even closer, leaving no space between their bodies. Eddie felt him falling deeper and deeper into the kiss. He felt like he was drowning in everything that was Buck and he didn’t want to come up for air. 

But then Holly’s high-pitched wail echoed through the apartment.

“I should...” Buck whispered, his voice trailing off as he let his forehead fall against Eddie’s. His hands were still on Eddie’s hips, drawing delicate circles. Eddie just swallowed glancing up at Buck. His normally crystal clear blue eyes were hazy as he watched Eddie. And Eddie just flushed under the gaze. He could feel their lips gravitating back towards them. But then Holly cried again and they pulled apart. 

“Yeah, um, you should.” Eddie stepped back, letting his heart calm down. Buck just nodded and headed up the stairs. Eddie watched him go, wishing the moment had been longer, wishing he could still feel Buck’s lips on his.

“Dad?” He looked over at the living room couch. Christopher was looking around, a sleepy look on his face. Eddie walked over and Christopher held his arms out. Eddie scooped him up with a sigh. Christopher let his head rest on Eddie’s shoulder, his eyes starting to close again. 

“I think it’s time we head home, Superman.”

“Okay,” Christopher mumbled sleepily. Eddie just pressed a kiss to his son’s head, grabbing his crutches, and heading back towards the kitchen. He paused, seeing Buck coming down the stairs with Holly. 

“Everything okay?” Eddie asked. He wanted to chuckle at their predicament. They had finally crossed that line, finally stopped circling around that thing that was always there. And they couldn’t even talk about it, especially with a kid in each of their arms. 

“She’s just a little fussy,” Buck said. “Chris down for the count?”

“Almost.” Buck just nodded. “We should...we should get going. But I’ll see you tomorrow.” He looked at Buck, hoping that Buck understood that it meant that they would talk tomorrow, that they would talk about what that kiss meant.

“Okay,” Buck said with a small smile. Eddie smiled back before heading towards the door. Buck held it open for him. Eddie paused in the open doorway, wishing he could press one more kiss to Buck’s lips. Buck seemed to understand. “Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow.” And then he exited the apartment, a sleeping nine-year-old in his arms, and a soft smile on his face.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “And you have all the numbers?”
> 
> “Buckaroo, you might have left more numbers than anyone I know.”

“And you have all the numbers?”

“Buckaroo, you might have left more numbers than anyone I know.” Buck was standing in his kitchen, his bag slung over his shoulder. Carla was standing opposite of him, holding Holly, who was currently enthralled with Carla’s hair. 

“I just want to be thorough.” Carla chuckled a little and Buck huffed. 

“I know that,” Carla said. “So yes, I have your number and Maddie’s and Eddie’s and Athena’s and the number for the 118.” Buck just nodded. “She’ll be fine. Now don’t you have to get to work?” Buck sighed. Carla smiled and walked over. She handed Buck the infant, who just smiled at him. “Say goodbye and know that she’s in the best hands.” 

Buck glanced down at Holly, who was just babbling and smiling at him. Other than when she had been in the hospital, he hadn’t been away from Holly during his paternity leave. Sure, Eddie and Maddie had forced him out of his apartment (either to see them or go on walks), but he had always brought Holly with him. Now that he had to go to work, he was terrified to be away from her. 

“Okay peanut,” Buck said with a sigh. “I have to go to work. But Carla’s going to take care of you while I’m gone. And you’ll get to see Christopher later and he already adores you.” Holly just watched him with a curious look on her face. She reached her hand up pawing gently at his birthmark. She let out a giggle and he smiled. “Love you too, peanut.” He kissed her forehead and then sighed. “Alright Carla, take her before I never leave.”

“Don’t be so dramatic,” Carla said, coming back over. She scooped Holly out of his arms. “Me and this little angel are going to have a great day. And you’re going to be late for work. Now, shoo.”

“Yes ma’am.” Buck smiled at his daughter who giggled, before he exited the apartment. He let out a long sigh, shifting his bag. “Just twelve hours. I can do that.” And then he headed to the garage, repeating that mantra to himself.

* * *

Eddie was already in the loft, sitting on the couches, waiting for Buck to arrive. He had thought about waiting in the parking lot or the locker room, but he didn’t want to be weird. And yet, the conversation they were going to have was going to be weird. Eddie didn’t like talking about his feelings. He knew it was a problem, Frank had called him on it several times, but it didn’t make opening up easier. It was why he had chosen to kiss Buck instead of talk to him. He was always better with his actions. 

He sat up a little straighter when Buck came up the stairs. When Buck noticed him a shy smile crossed the blonde’s face, making Eddie flush. Buck then went over the kitchen. Eddie fidgeted with his hands. Did he wait for Buck or be the one to start the conversation? He looked around the loft. Hen and Chimney had had a quick breakfast before going to check supplies in the ambulance. Bobby had disappeared to go assign chores to the probies. 

So they were alone. 

“No time like the present,” Eddie mumbled, before getting up and crossing to Buck. He felt his heart beating a little erratically as he made his way over to Buck. “Hey.” Buck looked up at him and offered him a nod. “How’s it feel being back?”

“I’ll tell you once we’ve had our first call.” Eddie just nodded. It shouldn’t have been a difficult conversation. It was just Buck. But crossing that line changed things. Not to mention, Eddie was garbage at expressing his feelings. 

He sighed a little, ready to try, when Buck’s phone made a noise. Buck quickly pulled it out of his pocket, a concerned look on his face, But then it melted to a smile 

“Everything alright?”

“Carla sent me a photo of Holly,” Buck said. He tilted his phone so Eddie could see. “God, she’s so cute.”

“Well, she’s your kid.” It came out before Eddie could stop himself. Buck looked at him, a little startled, before a blush crossed his cheeks.

“We should talk about...you know.” Eddie just nodded, his throat growing dry. 

“Yeah.” He just watched Buck, not sure how to start this conversation. Yes, he wanted more, but he didn’t know what that really meant. He also didn’t want to overwhelm Buck, who was already going through so much. 

But he wanted this. Whatever this was going to be, Eddie wanted it. And based on the way Buck was staring at him, he wanted it too. So Eddie took a breath ready to speak. 

“Buckley!” Bobby’s voice echoed through the station. “Front and center.” Buck glanced at Eddie, who fought back a sigh. 

“Guess you should find out what that’s about,” Eddie said. 

“Can’t imagine it’s good,” Buck said with a small sigh. Eddie just patted his shoulder. 

“I’m sure it’s fine,” Eddie said. “But I’ll back you up.” Buck smiled at little, making Eddie’s heart flutter. Then he headed down the stairs. Eddie followed, trying not to hate their constant poor timing. Hopefully, Bobby just needed Buck for a chore or two. Then, they could finally have this conversation.

* * *

Buck felt a nervous energy as he headed towards where Bobby was. He didn’t know why Bobby was calling for him, but a part of him didn’t feel good about it. If Bobby needed help with something, he didn’t holler for people, he went looking for them. So, why was he calling for him like that?

His nervous energy melted to confusion when he reached Bobby. Because Chase Mackey was standing in the firehouse, a smug look on his face.

“Someone’s here to see you,” Bobby said, nodding to Mackey. He noticed a look of concern on Bobby’s face. Buck was sure he looked confused and Bobby shrugged and nodded towards Mackey. Buck just stared at him. There was an odd confidence to the way Mackey was standing. He knew that Mackey was always confident, but this felt different, almost sinister. 

“What’s the ambulance chaser want?” Buck turned his head. Chimney had come over with Hen and Eddie was standing by Bobby. Mackey just rolled his eyes, a smirk crossing his face. 

“What do you want?” Buck asked, finally speaking up. 

“You know normally I send a paralegal to do this,” Mackey began. It was then that Buck noticed a piece of paper in his hands. “But when I came across this, I just had to deliver it by hand.” Buck watched Mackey, a terrible feeling sinking in his gut. The lawyer approached Buck and held out the paper. “Evan Buckley, you’ve been served.”

“What the hell?” Buck was sure the comment had come from Eddie, but he couldn’t focus on anything but the paper in front of him. He knew what it was without having to look at it. It was the thing he had been fearing for weeks, since he had tried to bring Holly home from the hospital. 

“You’re suing him?” Hen asked, the whole team moving closer to Buck. Mackey snorted, rolling his eyes. “Isn’t that a conflict of interest since you were his lawyer not even a year ago?”

“That case was resolved,” Mackey said as Buck took the paper. “And I’m not suing him. Daniel and Eileen Martin are suing him.”

“Who?”

“Ali’s parents,” Buck said, looking at the team. “They’re suing for custody. Full custody.”

“You are an absolute snake,” Eddie said, stepping in front of Buck towards Mackey. “What did you do, wait around the hospital for your next case and find them?”

“Does it really matter?” Mackey asked. “How could I say no to two devastated parents who just want to keep their granddaughter safe from their daughter’s reckless ex?” Buck tugged on Eddie’s arm, seeing the brunette flare up with anger. Eddie huffed but stepped back. 

“Why are you doing this?” Buck asked, his voice hoarse. His brain was running with thoughts and he could feel his chest tightening. 

“I am a fantastic lawyer,” Mackey said. “And your stupid case has tanked my career. And for what? We would’ve won! I could’ve gotten you more money that either of us would’ve known to deal with. But instead, you made me negotiate down to a deal even Shylock would’ve been embarrassed by.”

“You're disgusting,” Hen said.

“Disgusting? Maybe. The lawyer who’s going to get the Martin’s custody? Absolutely.” Buck just stared at him, feeling the panic clawing further and further up. “I’ll see you in court.” And then, he left the station. 

Buck gripped the paper in his hand, feeling his breathing pick up. Everything he had feared was coming true. The Martin’s were suing for custody. They were trying to take Holly away from him. And even worse, they had hired the only lawyer who would do anything to destroy Buck. It was all too much. He was going to lose his daughter and he didn’t know if he could handle that. 

“Buck! Buck!” His breaths were coming out as gasps, the paper in his hand shaking. He felt his knees sinking to the floor, his vision growing blurry. He could hear people calling his name, hands on his arms and shoulders. But he couldn’t focus on what they were saying. All he could see was Holly being taken away from him. All he could see was losing his daughter after he finally was getting a chance to be in her life. 

Suddenly, his gasps for air were coming out as choked out sobs. He could feel arms wrapped around him, but it wasn’t comforting. Nothing could comfort him at that moment. His worst nightmare was coming true and it felt like there was nothing he could. 

* * *

Eddie followed Buck as they walked wordlessly down the hallway. Buck had been mostly silent since Chase Mackey had shown up at the firehouse hours ago. Eddie couldn’t get Buck’s sobs out of his head, watching his friend crash to the ground in absolute heartbreak and panic. All they had been able to do was stay with him and try to calm him down. Bobby had then been forced to make Buck the man behind the rest of their shift because he wasn’t in the headspace to take calls. Not that Buck had complained. Buck had uttered maybe four words the rest of the shift. 

Eddie could see the emotional toll that Chase Mackey had left in his wake. He was sure that had been Mackey’s plan; hit Buck where it hurt. Well, it had worked all right. Eddie was pretty sure he had never seen Buck like that and he was certain he would do anything to make sure it never happened again. 

They reached the door to Buck’s apartment and Buck paused, lifting his key to the lock. Eddie could see his hand shaking as he tried to unlock the door. 

“Let me,” Eddie said softly, covering Buck’s hand with his. Buck didn’t look at him, just nodded. Eddie bit back a sigh and unlocked the door.

“Dad! Buck!” Normally, Christopher’s cheery demeanor was enough to make up for any bad day. But the nine-year-old could only tilt his head seeing the look on Buck’s face when he walked in. Even Carla had a questioning look on her face. Eddie just waited for Buck to say something. 

But instead, he went towards the living room, where Holly was lying on her back, playing on a play mat that Hen and Karen had gotten for her. 

“Dad?” Eddie made his way over to Christopher. He could hear the concern in his son’s voice. “Is Buck okay?” Eddie sighed and glanced over at Buck. He had sat down on the ground, pulling Holly into his lap. The infant was just staring up at him, her tiny hand reaching for him.

“I think maybe we should get out of here, buddy,” Eddie said, gently. Christopher, always too wise for his age, just nodded and went back to the table to pack up his bag. 

“What happened?” Carla asked, walking over to him. Eddie just watched as Buck hugged Holly, hiding his face in her blonde curls. 

“Nothing good,” Eddie said sadly. He wanted to say the right thing, to help Buck. But he didn’t know how to. He couldn’t imagine what Buck was going through. His parents had only implied they should raise Christopher over him. They had never gone as far as Ali’s parents had. So, he didn’t know what the right words were, if there even were right words. 

He didn’t know what to do. And that hurt more than their unfinished conversation from earlier.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Buck, you being upset isn’t going to calm down Holly,” Maddie said. She held her arms out. “Let me…” But Buck cut her off.
> 
> “No!” Holly wailed louder and Buck let out a frustrated noise. “I can take care of my daughter!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Callie told me to post this today. So you guys can thank Callie, lol.

Maddie approached Buck’s door, Chimney a step behind her. She had been anxious to see Buck since Chimney told her what happened. Buck had finally settled into a routine with Holly and then that scumbag lawyer showed up and blew that all sky high. And Buck, well Buck had almost had a panic attack when the social worker wanted to just check his apartment. Now that there was an actual custody case for Holly, she couldn’t imagine what was going on in his head. 

She reached his door and pulled out the key he had given her. She figured just going in would be easier. 

“Shouldn’t we knock?”

“I have a key for a reason,” Maddie said, going to unlock the door. “Besides, I’m not sure he’ll answer if we knock.”

“Fair,” Chimney said as she opened the door. Maddie stepped in, her ears immediately being greeted by the sound of Holly crying. She looked around, trying to spot her brother and niece. Taking a few steps into the apartment, she found Buck in the living room, Holly in his arms. 

“Oh come on Holly,” Buck whined, an almost frustrated tone to his voice. “Come on.”

“Buck?” He looked up, a startled look on his face. “Is everything okay?”

“It’s fine.” She could hear the stress in his voice, could see how upset he was. And she knew that the more upset he was, the more upset Holly was going to get. 

“Maybe you just need a break,” Maddie offered, moving closer to Buck. “You could lie down while we watch Holly.”

“Maddie, it’s fine.” Buck was attempting to rock Holly in his arms, but the infant was still wailing, her face scrunched up and as frustrated as Buck. 

“Buck, you being upset isn’t going to calm down Holly,” Maddie said. She held her arms out. “Let me…” But Buck cut her off.

“No!” Holly wailed louder and Buck let out a frustrated noise. “I can take care of my daughter!”

“Buck, I wasn’t implying…”

“No one is letting me do that!” He shouted. “No one is letting me...I just…” He looked down helplessly at the infant in his arms, who was still crying. “I can do this. I have a right to try.”

“Buck,” Maddie said sadly. “I know that. We all know that.” She watched sadly as tears escaped his eyes. He brought Holly closer to him, pressing a kiss to her hair, before burying his face in her hair. “Buck, you’re doing a great job with Holly.”

“Then why is the universe punishing me?” He asked, looking up at her. “Why, at every turn, is someone trying to take her away?”

“Because they don’t know you,” Maddie said, reaching for her brother’s arm. It hurt her to see him in pain, to see him struggling. “They don’t know how amazing you are and how great you are with any kid.”

“I just feel so helpless,” Buck said sadly. “I can’t even do this right.”

“And yet,” Chimney offered, joining the conversation. “It seems you finally got her to calm down.” Buck glanced down at Holly. The infant’s wails had stopped. She was now just watching Buck. He let out a long exhale before gently setting Holly on the ground on her play mat. Maddie joined him on the ground, her hand on his arm. 

“You’re a great dad Buck,” Maddie insisted.

“But I’m going to lose her,” He said, fresh tears dripping down his face. “Between Ali’s parents and Mackey?”

“No,” Maddie said, shaking her head. “You are not going to lose her. You’re not going to let that happen and neither are we.”

“I don’t know how I’m supposed to do this,” Buck said. “I feel like every time I feel like I have some hold on being a dad and raising Holly, something happens. I’m just so terrified that I’m going to wake up in the middle of the night and she’s going to be gone.” Maddie just pulled Buck close to her, hugging him tightly. She didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t imagine what he was feeling, the terror running through him that someone was going to take his daughter. 

“Maybe you need to take Bobby’s advice then.” Buck and Maddie looked at Chimney, who had walked over to them. Maddie looked back at her brother, wondering what Chimney meant. 

“Bobby suggested I go see Frank,” Buck said quietly. “But I just...I don’t like therapy.”

“Frank’s a good guy.”

“I know.” She watched him look over at Holly. “I just...I don’t like being in that office and I don’t want to be away from Holly more than I have to.”

“Well then maybe you ask him if she can be in the room,” Maddie suggested. “But you should talk to him because he is very good at his job.” Buck sighed. “You’re going to get through this Buck. You and Holly are going to be okay.”

“I want to believe you.”

“Then I’ll keep saying it until you do.” She offered her brother a smile, holding her arms out. Buck melted into the hug, hugging her as tightly as he could for their position. And Maddie just tried her best to comfort Buck, all while worried that it wasn’t enough. 

* * *

Buck sat on the couch, his eyes on Holly, who was on a play mat on the floor. Frank was across from him and he could feel the therapist’s eyes on him. 

“Thank you for letting me bring her,” Buck said, tearing his eyes away from his daughter. “I just...I don’t like being away from her longer than I have to.”

“It’s certainly unorthodox,” Frank said with a small smile. “But she’s young and can’t repeat what we’re saying.” Buck attempted a chuckle, but it felt false. “So, do you want to tell me why you’re here? It’s been awhile.”

“Yeah since after the ladder truck,” Buck said, quietly. “And well Holly is a lot of why I’m here. More so everything to do with her.” Frank just nodded. When he didn’t say anything, Buck just sighed. “I found out not even two months ago that I had a daughter. That Ali had had our daughter and hadn’t told me.”

“Ali was the woman you were dating during your recovery, correct?”

“Well for part of it,” Buck said. “She broke up with me two months after the accident. At the time, I thought it was just because she couldn’t handle my job and me wanting to go back to it.”

“But that wasn’t the case.” Buck shook his head. “I assume your daughter was the reason.”

“We had this big fight,” Buck began. “I was feeling good about physical therapy and was already thinking about my recertification and getting back to work. And Ali...she just lost it on me. She started screaming and crying and begging me not to go back.” Buck sighed. “I thought she was just frustrated with me. Turns out, she was scared because she had found out she was pregnant.”

“And she didn’t tell you?” Buck shook his head. “Did you ever find out why?”

“She told me when I found out,” Buck said. “The 118, we responded to a multi-car accident on the freeway and Ali was in one of the cars. With Holly. After she was taken to the hospital, we talked and she told me why she hadn’t told me.”

“And were you okay with that explanation?”

“No.” Frank just nodded and Buck sighed. “I was so hurt. Keeping this...Holly from me, that’s not a little thing. And I was so hurt and upset that she had decided that our daughter didn’t deserve to know me just because she was scared.”

“But she knows you now,” Frank said. “I can only assume there’s something else troubling you.”

“Ali didn’t make it.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Frank said solemnly. “Losing someone close to you, that can be difficult.”

“I haven’t even been able to process it,” Buck said, sniffing a little. “She was there one minute and the next she was gone. And then a social worker was saying my apartment had to be checked to make sure it was safe for my daughter. And then Ali’s parents showed up and were demanding Holly. And then…” He looked away from Frank and towards Holly. The infant was sitting up, playing with a stuffed animal that Chimney had gotten for her. “They’re suing for custody. And they’re using a lawyer who hates my guts and has basically said he wants to destroy me.”

“And how has all of that affected you?” Buck looked towards Frank. “Buck, we’ve only had a few sessions together, but I can tell that you wear your heart on your sleeve, that you’re open with your emotions. So, how has all of this affected you?”

“I had a panic attack at work,” Buck said. “Mackey, the lawyer, he served the papers on my first day back after paternity leave. But even before that, it’s felt like everyone wants to take her away. Like the universe has already decided that I’m not enough, that Holly will just be another person I lose.”

“That you lose?”

“People always leave me.” Frank nodded as Buck tried to wipe away tears that were threatening to fall. “I’ve had two serious girlfriends since I moved to LA. Both left. My parents moved as soon as I was in college without even telling me. Maddie, Maddie left me twice. So people, they always leave because I’m not enough.”

“Well I can’t unpack all of that today,” Frank said and Buck huffed a laugh at that. “But your daughter isn’t one of those people you listed. She doesn’t have the capability to leave.”

“But people are trying to take her away,” Buck said.

“And that feels like leaving to you.” Buck just nodded. “I assume you’re figuring things out with the custody case, but unless you’ve done something illegal or harmful to your daughter, the chance of a parent losing custody is low.”

“Does being a reckless firefighter count?”

“Buck, you’re not reckless.”

“I got my leg pinned under a truck.” He flinched a little, still remembering the pain of thousands of pounds of metal crushing her leg.

“That wasn’t your fault,” Frank said. “You were a victim of circumstance. You weren’t reckless. You were doing your job.”

“But what if going back to that job is the reason I lose my daughter?” He glanced at Holly, who was watching him now. She held her hands out and Buck picked her up. “I...I love her so much already and I don’t want to imagine my life without her.”

“Then you fight for her.” Buck looked up at Frank. “It’s a custody battle. You have to fight for her. Even more so, you have to win for her. Do you think you can do that?” Buck looked down at Holly, who was watching him. She babbled something incoherently and Buck just pressed a kiss to the top of her head, earning a giggle from the infant. He looked back at Frank who was studying him carefully.

“Yes. Yes I can.”

* * *

Eddie pushed open Buck’s door with one hand, balancing a pizza box with the other. Christopher made his way into the apartment as Eddie held the door open for his son.

“Buck?” Eddie called, closing the door behind him.

“Up here!” Eddie looked towards the stairs, Buck’s voice echoing from the loft. Eddie set the pizza down on the table. 

“Go pick a movie mijo,” Eddie said, ruffling his son’s hair. “I’ll go grab Buck.”

“Okay,” Christopher said with a smile. “But can I sit on the floor and play with Holly?” Eddie smiled. He had been worried that, with Christopher being so close with Buck, that his son was going to be jealous that Buck would be so focused on his daughter. But Christopher, ever the amazing kid (which seriously, Eddie did not know where his kid got so many amazing qualities from), just adored Holly. It made his heart warm and made him wish their little group of four could be a permanent kind of thing. 

With a sigh, trying to push those kinds of thoughts away, he made his way upstairs. The loft was surprisingly empty. He looked around, brows furrowed, trying to figure out where Buck was. But then, he saw the bathroom door, which was open just slightly. So, he made his way towards it.

His heart nearly leapt out of his chest at the sight before him. Buck was sitting on the floor, without a shirt on, playing with a rubber duck in the tub. Holly, who was in the water, was giggling and splashing. And Buck, as he tended to be when he had Holly near, was smiling ear-to-ear. The whole scene made Eddie’s knees a little weak because it was so precious and domestic and it made Eddie want permanence so bad. Why couldn’t he be there, helping Buck? Why couldn’t they be together all the time? Didn’t he want that?

But of course, they hadn’t talked about that kiss in the kitchen. There hadn’t been time, what with Mackey showing up and Buck breaking down in the station. He was trying to give Buck space to handle his personal issues. 

But god, Eddie wanted him, wanted this domestic lifestyle with Buck, so badly. 

“Sorry.” Eddie was drawn out of his thoughts by Buck, who was lifting Holly, wrapped in a very fluffy purple towel, out of the tub. “Dinnertime was a little messy, so we had to have a bath. And then I got a little distracted.”

“You uh, lose your shirt somewhere along the way?” Eddie asked, trying not to stare at all of Buck’s exposed muscles. He had seen his friend shirtless before. But it felt different seeing him like that now. “Or do you always bathe your daughter shirtless?” Buck’s blushed, making Eddie’s heart race a little. 

“The messy dinnertime included my shirt,” Buck said walking out of the bathroom. “Holly’s not a fan of peas apparently.” Eddie chuckled as he followed. “Could you hold her while I throw a shirt on?” Eddie just nodded, taking the infant. He tried to pay attention to her and not Buck, who moved around the loft, in search of a shirt. He tried not to stare at those perfectly taut muscles on his back or how he was still in such good shape after making Holly his sole focus for the last almost two months. 

“Chris downstairs?” Buck asked, coming back over after putting a shirt on. 

“Yeah,” Eddie said. “And pizza. I don’t know if you ate already but we haven’t.”

“Well then we should get this little one dressed before it gets cold,” Buck said, poking Holly’s stomach. The infant giggled, earning a smile from Buck. Buck glanced back at Eddie and noticed he was watching him. Buck blushed again and Eddie had such a strong urge to kiss him. 

“I can get that sorted while you get her dressed,” Eddie said, fighting against that impulse. Buck just nodded, his ears still red. Eddie quickly headed back down the stairs, knowing if he stayed up there too long, that he would do something stupid. 

He was definitely going to have to leave space between the two of them on the couch that evening.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buck made his way down the stairs, Holly in his arms. The infant was dressed in a onesie that Carla had gotten her. It had little fire trucks on it and Carla said she would keep buying it until Holly outgrew the available sizes. 
> 
> When he reached the living room, he couldn’t help but smile. Eddie was sitting on the couch, two plates with pizza on the table in front of him. Christopher was sitting on the floor, happily munching on a slice of pizza.

Buck made his way down the stairs, Holly in his arms. The infant was dressed in a onesie that Carla had gotten her. It had little fire trucks on it and Carla said she would keep buying it until Holly outgrew the available sizes. 

When he reached the living room, he couldn’t help but smile. Eddie was sitting on the couch, two plates with pizza on the table in front of him. Christopher was sitting on the floor, happily munching on a slice of pizza.

“What are you doing on the floor Superman?” Buck asked, crouching down to set Holly down on her play mat. 

“I wanted to be able to play with Holly.” Buck smiled at that as Christopher set his plate down. He hugged the boy tightly, grateful for such an amazing kid like Christopher, before getting up and making his way over to the couch. He raised an eyebrow when Eddie shifted away slightly. They hadn’t talked about their kiss, but Buck had been under the impression that when they did it would be a positive conversation. But now, Eddie was avoiding his eye contact and leaving almost an entire person’s space between them.

He tried to catch Eddie’s eyes, but the brunette was doing a very good job of avoiding that. 

“What movie did you pick, mijo?” Eddie asked. 

“Zootopia!” Christopher said with a smile. “It’s a great movie and even though Holly’s really little, she might like it.” Buck couldn’t help but smile at that. He knew that, very likely, Holly would be asleep within the first thirty minutes. But he appreciated the sentiment from Christopher.

“Well then start it up, Superman.” As the movie filled the screen and Christopher began pointing at things for Holly’s benefit, Buck glanced over at Eddie. He had no idea what was going on or why the sudden change, but he was definitely going to get to the bottom of it.

* * *

As the credits rolled across the screen, Eddie stood up, grabbing the empty plates as he did. He knew he was acting weird. Buck’s constant gazes over at him confirmed that. But he was also trying to control every impulse in him that was screaming to kiss Buck.

Buck wasn’t making it easy to ignore those impulses. Besides the constant looks, he had also kept moving closer to Eddie on the couch, even though Eddie had left a sizable gap. Luckily, when Holly had fallen asleep, barely a half hour into the movie, Eddie had lifted Christopher onto the couch. By the time Buck had come back, Christopher was now occupying the space between them, meaning the distance couldn’t be closed. Christopher had fallen asleep pretty close to the end of the movie, using Buck as a pillow, which was why Eddie had used the first free moment he had to make a break for the kitchen. If anything, Buck would need an additional minute to move Christopher without waking him up, before following.

“Dude, what’s your deal tonight?” Eddie spun around, surprised at how quickly Buck had followed after him. Or maybe he just had been lost in his thoughts for too long. 

“What do you mean?” 

“You’ve been acting weird all night.” Eddie tried to act like nothing was wrong, but he was sure his face was giving him away. “Look I thought after we...you know, kissed the other night, that things would be different. Or that, at the very least, we would talk about what this-” He gestured between them. “- us is. But you’ve been acting really weird and it’s making me think you’re starting to regret what happened.”

“No.” Buck was looking at him like he didn’t believe him and Eddie sighed. “I would never...it meant something Buck and I would never regret it.”

“Then why are you acting so weird?” Buck asked. “I thought we were going to talk about it.”

“I’m not trying to be selfish here.” Buck tilted his head at that and Eddie sighed. “Look, you’re going through so much right now. Between finding out about Holly, what happened to Ali, her parents, and Mackey, you have a lot on your plate. And I don’t want to overwhelm you even more by trying to figure out what this is.”

“Have you ever considered that it wouldn’t overwhelm me?” Buck asked and Eddie shrugged. “Eddie, we need to talk about this. Hell, we’ve needed to talk about this since way before that kiss.”

“I know,” Eddie said with a sigh.

“Look Eddie, I care about you,” Buck said, walking over to Eddie. “A lot more than just a best friend should. I mean, spending time with you and Christopher just feels right. And whenever I leave I always…”

“Want more.” Buck nodded. “I do too. Sometimes, I don’t want you to leave. Sometimes I just want you to stay forever.” Buck smiled, making Eddie’s stomach do several flips. “Do you know what I was thinking about earlier in the bathroom? Besides how stupid it is that you look so good without a shirt on.” Buck chuckled at that, his ears turning red as he did. “I was thinking about how I want this, the four of us, all the time. How this feels like a family and I want everything that comes with that.”

“Everything?” Buck had moved closer, pining Eddie back against the counter, like Eddie had done several nights before. 

“But I want it to be when the time is right,” Eddie said, gulping a little. Everything in him was screaming to shut up and kiss Buck. But he needed to get this out. “I don’t want to rush this and I don’t want you to feel like you can’t focus on Holly and what’s best for her and winning the custody case.”

“And after that?” His hands came up to cradle Eddie’s face and Eddie could feel himself getting lost in the vast ocean that was Buck’s eyes. “After I win the custody case?”

“Then I’d really like to take you out on a date.” Buck just smiled and Eddie felt their lips gravitating closer together. His hands gripped onto Buck’s waist, needing something to ground him, something to not allow him to fall all the way in, like his brain was screaming for him to do.

And then Buck kissed him.

It was soft and sweet, unlike the kiss from the other evening, which had been frantic and rushed. The feeling of Buck’s lips against his made Eddie’s head spin. It just felt so right and he didn’t want the moment to end. And yet, he pulled away, controlling himself and ignoring his urges. He was going to be supportive, damn it, even if his body didn’t like that idea. Buck chuckled and let his forehead drop against Eddie’s. 

“I don’t know how we’re supposed to not do that while I deal with the case,” Buck said. “Especially when kissing you makes me feel like there’s no other problems in the world.”

“Unfortunately a good make out won’t fix all your problems,” Eddie said, his finger tracing the belt loops on Buck’s jeans.

“But it might distract me for a little while.”

“Pretty sure you’re propositioning me right now.” Buck chuckled and stepped away, allowing just enough space for them to part, but still be close.

“Just saying that’s an option while I deal with the case,” Buck said with a shrug. “I mean, I certainly wouldn’t object to it.”

“You’re incorrigible,” Eddie said, his cheeks dusting with pink.

“Yeah, but you like me anyways.” Eddie just looked at Buck, a smile crossing his face. He reached his hand out, gently running his fingers down Buck’s cheek. The action made Buck blush. 

“Yeah, yeah I do.” Buck smiled, his hands reaching for Eddie’s waist, to reel him back in. Eddie was sure they would’ve come back together, an intoxicating tangle of lips and lust. 

But then Christopher called for them. 

“Dad? Buck?” Buck let go of Eddie’s waist as they turned towards the living room. Christopher was sitting up on the couch, his glasses around his neck, and looking very sleepy. Eddie looked back at Buck, who just smiled and nodded to Christopher. Eddie walked over to his son, scooping the half-asleep nine-year-old, and his crutches, up. 

“Time to go home mijo.” Christopher was very clearly already asleep again, his head taking up residency on Eddie’s shoulder. Eddie just chuckled and carried him towards the door. Buck was standing there, watching them with a fond smile. “I’ll see you at work?”

“Yeah.” Eddie just nodded, trying to fight away the smile that seemed to drape across his face when Buck was around. “Bye Christopher.”

“Bye Buck,” The boy muttered sleepily. Buck chuckled and moved to press a kiss to the top of Christopher’s head. As he moved away, he somehow found a way to brush his lips against Eddie’s, making the brunette blush. Buck just smiled at that, making Eddie blush harder. 

“See you around, Diaz boys.” Eddie just nodded, unable to find the words to say goodbye. He was definitely going to have to figure out how not to get so tongue-tied around Buck, especially if he wanted to eventually take the other man out on a date. But for now, he was fine to act like an embarrassed teenager leaving his crush’s house. And judging by the adoring grin on Buck’s face, he didn’t mind either.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Everything okay?” Buck sat down next to Eddie with another long sigh. “So, no?”
> 
> “I’ve been looking for the right lawyer for my case,” Buck said. “And it’s just hard because I need them to be the right person and obviously my trust in lawyers isn’t great.”

Eddie was sitting on the bench in the locker room, pulling his boot on when Buck walked in, phone pressed to his ear.

“Yeah I know Maddie.” He gave Buck a look and Buck waved him off. “Yes, the notice to appear is in a few weeks. And yes, I know I need to find a lawyer.” Eddie sat up a little straighter hearing Buck talk about the custody case. “I’ve been looking but I just haven’t found the right person.” He paused and let out a sigh. Eddie just watched him, waiting for the conversation to end. “Sure, I can come over after work and we can go over names. Bye Mads.” He ended the call and let out a sigh. 

“Everything okay?” Buck sat down next to Eddie with another long sigh. “So, no?”

“I’ve been looking for the right lawyer for my case,” Buck said. “And it’s just hard because I need them to be the right person and obviously my trust in lawyers isn’t great.”

“Just because you hired Mackey once doesn’t mean your ability to trust lawyers is bad,” Eddie pointed out. Buck just sighed. “Look, Mackey’s a scumbag and you’ll find a good lawyer, okay? You have to and you have to win.”

“I know.”

“Good because,” Eddie paused, looking around to see if the locker room was empty. “I’m pretty much going crazy waiting to take you on a date. So you know, you’ve got to win this case.” Buck chuckled, making Eddie smile.

“I did provide an alternative until that can happen,” Buck said. “You turned it down.” He stood up and went over to his locker. Eddie just watched him, his eyes sweeping Buck up and down. 

“Might have to take you up on that,” Eddie said, standing up. Buck spun around, a surprised look on his face. Eddie smirked. “Or I would have, if you didn’t have plans after work.”

“Oh that’s cold,” Buck said. “What did I even do to deserve this?”

“That sneaky move you pulled as I was leaving the other night,” Eddie said and Buck rolled his eyes. “But hey, maybe if your plans with Maddie don’t take so long…”

“Are you trying to torture me?”

“Maybe a little,” Eddie said with a smirk. “When you blush it’s both really noticeable and cute.” He headed towards the door, chuckling as he heard Buck groan. 

“You’re evil.”

“And you’re going to be late.” And then he left the locker room, a smirk on his face.

* * *

Buck stared at his phone, eyebrows furrowed as he read the webpage. He had been searching for lawyers all day, using his extensive mind for research to try and find the right one. But of course, reading about these people wasn’t enough. He needed to be absolutely certain that the lawyer he hired would be the right one. He had to be certain that he picked someone who could help him win. 

Because there was no way he was losing his daughter. 

“Squint too hard you’re going to mess up your eyes.” He looked up from his phone, seeing Chimney standing behind the couch. “I was sent to summon you for dinner.” Buck just nodded as he got up. “Were you looking up what I think you were looking up?”

“Yeah,” Buck said as they walked over to the table. “Maddie and I are going to go over notes when we’re both off work tomorrow.”

“Notes?” Hen asked from where she was sitting as Chimney took the seat next to her. Buck sat down next to Eddie, who just bumped his thigh in response.

“Trying to find a lawyer,” Buck said with a sigh. “And preferably one who doesn’t turn out to be a scumbag.”

“God Mackey’s an absolute weasel,” Hen said. “I could’ve punched that guy.”

“You wouldn’t have been first,” Eddie said. 

“I just hate that it’s him, you know?” Buck crossed his arms over his chest. “And honestly I just need a lawyer to tell me if anything I told him for that god awful lawsuit last year can be used during this case.”

“What are we talking about?” Athena had joined them as Bobby placed the last of the food on the table. She tended to have dinner with them at least once a week if Bobby was on shift and she wasn’t.

“Buck’s looking for a lawyer,” Chimney said. “For the custody case.”

“I still don’t think the Martin’s have a snowball’s chance of winning,” Athena said, sitting down. “You're that baby’s father.” A look crossed her face and then she quickly took her phone out.

“They have the right to file,” Buck said. Everyone looked at him, confused looks on his face. “I mean legally. Not morally. But legally, they have the right to. Especially, if like they’re claiming, I’m a danger to Holly.”

“But you’re not,” Eddie said. “And they really shouldn’t have the right to do this. Every kid needs their parent, especially when their parent wants to be involved and wants to raise their kid.” Buck looked at Eddie, tilting his head. He knew Eddie was on his side like he normally was, but there was a ferocity to his voice that confused Buck. 

“We all know you’re the best person to raise your daughter,” Bobby said, from the head of the table. “And whoever you end up hiring as a lawyer, if they need character witnesses, you know who to call.” Buck just nodded, a small smile on his face. He looked at everyone, glad to have them and glad that they were supporting him. 

“Ah ha!” Buck glanced at Athena who had just finished texting. Everyone turned towards the police sergeant who just chuckled. “I needed to ask Michael something. He has this friend, who I was pretty certain was a lawyer. And she is. A good one at that. I told him to text you her information.”

“Oh, thanks.”

“Alright, let’s dig in before...you know,” Bobby said, waving vaguely towards the bell. Everyone nodded in agreement, digging in. And as Buck put food on his plate, he couldn’t help but feel a little lighter, hoping he was moving in the right direction to finding the right lawyer to help him win.

* * *

“Michael insists she’s the best.” Buck was at the table in Maddie and Chimney’s apartment. They had moved in together over the summer, after telling everyone that Maddie was pregnant. 

“Well it’s definitely good we’re meeting her,” Maddie said, walking over to Buck with two plates. “But having Michael’s assessment of her is way more helpful than just reading reviews online.”

“Definitely,” Buck said, taking the plates from Maddie as she sat down. “Chim, Albert, are you joining us?” He looked over at Chimney and his younger brother, who were in the kitchen. Chimney was holding Holly while the younger male was cooing over the baby. “I know my daughter’s cute guys, but it’s time to eat.” 

“She is truly precious,” Albert said, walking over. “You are very lucky to have her.”

“Thanks Albert,” Buck said with a smile. “And hopefully Michael’s friend can make sure I get to keep being her dad.”

“She is lucky to have a father who cares so much,” Albert said, a sad smile crossing his face. 

“Yeah, what’s that like?” Chimney asked, putting Holly in a high chair. He patted his brother’s shoulder before taking a seat next to Maddie. “And if Michael says good things, then this lawyer is probably good.”

“Apparently, she helped him with a client who refused to pay him,” Buck said. “He said she got it all taken care of and made sure he got paid for the project.”

“But meeting her tomorrow will definitely help us know for sure,” Maddie said. “What time did she say?”

“Eleven tomorrow,” Buck said. “Eddie’s gonna watch the little peanut, since it’s Carla’s day off.”

“Why didn’t you ask me?” Chimney asked, slightly offended. “First you hijack Maddie when we both have the day off and then you don’t even let me babysit?” Buck rolled his eyes and looked at his sister. Maddie was just smiling, chuckling at her boyfriend’s antics.

“First off, Maddie offered to come because she’s an amazing sister,” Buck said. “And second, I didn’t ask Eddie, he volunteered to do it. Said he owed me for all the times I’ve watched Christopher.”

“It’ll just be an hour or two,” Maddie said, patting Chimney’s arm. “You can meet me for lunch after.”

“So Albert,” Buck said, wanting to switch the conversation. “How’s school?” And as the younger male dove into tales of college classes, Buck couldn’t help but smile, feeling relaxed. Sure, this custody case was looming over him. But he was feeling more and more like not only could he handle everything being thrown his way, but that it would be okay, that everything would work.

And that just made him smile even more.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “There definitely is more,” Buck said. “It’s complicated. But, I just need to know, if I decide to hire you...Holly is my world and I love her more than anything. I need to know that whoever I hire for this case, that they will do everything they can to make sure I don’t lose custody of her.”

Buck and Maddie sat in a small waiting area of the lawyer’s private practice. It had been easy to find, a simple office in a building downtown with her name on the door. They had arrived early because Buck was eager to meet the lawyer and find out if she was the right person for the case.

“Mister Buckley?” A short Asian woman, about Maddie’s height walked into the waiting room. Buck stood up as she approached. 

“Uh yeah, hi.” He offered his hand and she shook it. “It’s nice to meet you Miss Lee. Or is Jennifer alright?”

“Jennifer’s just fine,” She said with a smile. She glanced over at Maddie. “And this is your sister?”

“Yes hi,” Maddie said, pulling herself up, one hand on her belly. “Nice to meet you.”

“You as well,” She said. “Why don’t we head into my office?” They followed her from the waiting room into the office. She sat down at her desk and the Buckley siblings sat in the two seats across from it. “So, I know Michael gave you my information. How do you know him if you don’t mind me asking?”

“I know him through Athena,” Buck said. “She’s a police officer, I’m a firefighter.”

“Are you at the same firehouse where her new husband works?” Jennifer asked and Buck nodded. “Michael has only ever had good things to say about the 118.” Buck smiled a little. “So, let’s talk about this case, shall we?”

“Before we do,” Maddie said. “We were just curious if you could go over your track record. Since you’re in private practice, we just want to make sure you’re the right lawyer for this case.”

“Of course,” Jennifer said with a smile. “Well I’ve officially never lost a case. Won many, the number of which I’m not sure. I’m sure my daughter, who also unofficially acts as my secretary could tell you for sure. I have settled cases out of court, which some lawyers would consider as wins or losses, but as long as my client’s best interests are met, then that’s really all I care about.”

“And have you handled custody suits before?” Buck asked.

“I have,” Jennifer said. “That’s what your case is, correct?”

“Yes,” Buck said. “My ex-girlfriend’s parents are suing for custody of my daughter.” Jennifer nodded, writing something down on a yellow pad. 

“And the ex-girlfriend?”

“She, uh…” Maddie reached for Buck’s arm and he sighed. “She was in a car accident about two months ago and didn’t make it.”

“I’m very sorry to hear that,” Jennifer said. “And I assume you weren’t together at the time?” Buck shook his head. “Were you in the child’s life when she passed?”

“I didn’t know about her until Ali’s accident.” Jennifer just nodded, writing something else down.

“Do you know if she left a will determining who custody of her daughter went to?” Buck shook his head and Jennifer scribbled something else down. “Well, I’m sure there’s more here, but this sounds like an open and shut case. You’re the father. Courts like to rule in favor of parents when it comes to other family members fighting for custody.”

“There definitely is more,” Buck said. “It’s complicated. But, I just need to know, if I decide to hire you...Holly is my world and I love her more than anything. I need to know that whoever I hire for this case, that they will do everything they can to make sure I don’t lose custody of her.” Jennifer smiled. 

“I can promise you that I will put one hundred and ten percent into this case,” Jennifer said. “Complicated matters aside, my job as a lawyer is to protect my client’s best interests. If your best interest is having custody of your daughter, then I promise I will do everything I can to make sure that stays the case.” Buck glanced at Maddie. Everything she was saying sounded right and like she was the right person for the job. But he had trusted the wrong lawyer last time and it had come back to bite him. He needed someone else to agree with him before he made a decision. 

Maddie just gave him a nod, a small smile on his face. 

“Well, then I’d like to hire you.” Jennifer smiled and nodded. 

“Wonderful,” Jennifer said. Buck nodded, relief flooding through him. “Well, you still have about fifty minutes left in this appointment. Should we start going over important details?” Buck nodded as Jennifer flipped to a new page in her notepad. “Whenever you’re ready.”

And so Buck dove in, feeling confident that he had the right lawyer this time.

* * *

Buck walked into Eddie’s house, feeling more relieved than he had in days. Jennifer had listened as Buck explained the whole complicated situation. She had said that even though Ali had acted in what she thought was Holly’s best interest, that didn’t make Buck a reckless parent. She also understood his concerns about Mackey, especially after he took the time to explain why. She said she would do her best to make sure mentions of the lawsuit weren’t brought up. She also said character witnesses from the 118 would definitely help, especially if Mackey tried to dredge the lawsuit up. 

Either way, Buck was confident Jennifer was the right lawyer for the job. 

“Hi Buck!” He made his way into the kitchen, smiling at the sight before him. Christopher was sitting at the kitchen table. Eddie was sitting opposite of him and offered Buck a smile when he walked in. But his smile turned into a full-on grin when he saw Isabel Diaz standing at the stove, one hand stirring something that smelled delicious and the other holding Holly. 

“I thought you were babysitting my little peanut,” Buck said, looking at Eddie. “Not Isabel.”

“That’s Abuela to you,” She said, pointing the spoon at Buck. “And how could I not come over when Edmundo sends me a picture of this beautiful princessa playing with mi angel.”

“She’s already decided that Holly’s her new great granddaughter,” Eddie said, a fond smile on his face. “No talking her out of it.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Buck said with a smile. He walked over and scooped Holly out of Isabel’s arms. “Hey peanut. Miss me?” He kissed Holly’s head and the infant babbled something incoherently in response. He just smiled happily.

“Well since you’ve taken my assistant,” Isabel said, a slight smirk on her face. “Shoo. All three of you.”

“You heard her,” Eddie said, getting up from the table. “Somebody has to do his reading for his reading log anyways.”

“I know,” Christopher said, getting up. “I’ll be in my room.” The boy made his way out of the kitchen, Eddie chuckling. 

“I still have two too many people in this kitchen,” Isabel said. Eddie rolled his eyes with a playful smirk before nodding to Buck.

“I look forward to whatever you’re making Isabel,” Buck called as they left the kitchen. He sat down on the couch, setting Holly on his lap. 

“So, how’d the meeting go with the lawyer,” Eddie asked, sitting down next to him. 

“Really well,” Buck said with a smile. “Maddie and I both think she’s the right person to help me win the case. Also, she’s apparently heard of Chase Mackey and thinks his reputation alone will sour the Martin’s chances.”

“Yeah that guy is a real scumbag.” Buck just nodded, but he grew quiet. “Are you okay?”

“I know you’ve said before that you and everyone else is past the lawsuit...”

“Because we are Buck.” Buck just sighed and Eddie shifted his position on the couch. 

“I just...it felt like the only way to get back to my job,” Buck said. “To get back to my family.” Eddie reached his hand out, gently touching Buck’s arm. 

“And you did,” Eddie said. “And we’re all past what happened last year.”

“Mackey’s going to try and drag it up,” Buck said, looking away from Eddie. Eddie remembered all the venom Mackey spewed during the lawsuit. He remembered the snide look on the lawyer’s face when he brought up Shannon. He wasn’t sure what else Buck could’ve told Mackey or how he could spin it to make Buck look like a reckless parent, but it didn’t matter. He ran his thumb gently across Buck’s arm and Buck looked up. 

“It doesn’t matter,” Eddie said. “We’ve been through worse and we made it out. You’ll make it out of this with full custody of Holly and everyone by your side.”

“Thanks Eds.” Buck smiled, earning a grin from Eddie. Buck bit his lip, wanting nothing more than to lean over and kiss Eddie. But between Holly on his lap, Christopher down the hall, and Isabel in the kitchen, it didn’t seem like a viable option.

“So, what did you guys get up to today?” Buck asked, deciding to change the conversation and also get his mind off of his slowly becoming impure thoughts. Eddie just smiled and began recounting their day.

* * *

“Man, your Abuela needs to teach me some of her recipes.” Buck and Eddie were standing in the kitchen much later that evening. Eddie was pulling two beers out of the fridge as Buck leaned against the counter. Eddie just chuckled as he handed Buck a beer. Holly had been asleep for a while, in a playpen Eddie had set up in the living room. Christopher had gone to sleep sometime after that, Buck offering to read to him while Eddie tried not to kiss him senseless as soon as he offered.

“If you let her keep watching Holly, I’m sure she will,” Eddie said. 

“Well someone has to pass down the family recipes,” Buck countered and Eddie snorted. He played with the beer bottle in his hands and Eddie just watched him. “You know, it’s nice.”

“What is?” Eddie asked.

“Having so many people that care about Holly,” Buck said. Eddie studied him, pursing his lips. 

“Do your parents know?” Buck shook his head. “Why?”

“They don’t really...they never really cared,” Buck said with a sigh. “Look, they’re not bad people, they just...they weren’t the most interested parents. Work and travel was more interesting to them. We don’t really talk and when we do it’s a few texts here and there.”

“I didn’t know.”

“I don’t like talking about it,” Buck said with a sigh. “I’m lucky that Maddie and I are so close now but for a while it felt like I didn’t really have family.” The kitchen grew silent, Eddie looking for the right words to say and Buck fidgeting with the drink in his hands.

“Well you do now,” Eddie said, crossing over to Buck. “And I don't just mean Maddie and the 118. I mean my family. Abuela and Pepa already think so highly of you. And my kid acts like you hung the moon or something.”

“He’s a pretty great kid. The best really.” Eddie smiled before taking the beer bottle from Buck’s hand and setting it down next to his abandoned drink. 

“I meant what I said the other day,” Eddie said. “The four of us, I want that. I want this little family unit that we built without even noticing it. So you have family now Buck, a family that will stand by you through anything.” Buck just smiled.

“If you keep saying nice things to me,” Buck started. “Then nothing’s going to stop me from kissing you.”

“I did try to take you up on your earlier offer,” Eddie said, crowding into Buck’s space. “But you were busy.” A devious smile crossed Buck’s features before his fingers curled into Eddie’s shirt, pulling him until they were pressed against each other. 

“I’m not busy now.” Eddie smiled a little, his hands coming to rest at Buck’s waist. Buck seemed to watch him for a second, as if checking that this was all okay. When Eddie simply nodded, Buck smiled before closing the distance between the two of them, his lips pressing against Eddie’s. Buck’s hands moved from the front of Eddie’s shirt to his hair.

“Didn’t know you liked my hair so much,” Eddie mumbled against Buck’s lips, feeling himself getting lost in the kiss.

“I liked it better when it was longer,” Buck said, pulling away, just slightly. “I liked the floof.” Eddie snorted before capturing Buck’s lips in another kiss. He pressed Buck further back into the counter, his hands gripping at his waist as Buck kissed him back with fervor. They both felt themselves falling deeper and deeper into the kiss. Nothing around them was going to pull them out of this moment. 

Which was why they didn’t hear Christopher approaching. 

“Dad? Buck?” They broke apart, both of their cheeks dusting pink when they realized Christopher was in the kitchen. He was staring at them, his head tilted in adorable confusion. 

“Wh-What are you doing up, Superman?” Eddie asked, trying to not be completely embarrassed that his nine-year-old son just caught him almost making out with Buck in the kitchen. 

“The cup by my bed was empty,” Christopher said. “I woke up and I was thirsty.”

“Did you bring the cup with you?” Eddie asked, walking over to his son. Christopher just shook his head as Eddie scooped him up. He walked over to a different side of the counter and placed Christopher so he was sitting on the counter. “I’ll go get it then.” He glanced at Buck, who was wearing a matching embarrassed look on his face. He offered Buck a sheepish smile before leaving the kitchen. Buck glanced over at Christopher who was watching him. He didn’t know what to say. The boy had just walked into the kitchen to find them kissing. How did he just explain that? Especially since he and Eddie weren’t totally an item yet. They hadn’t even gone on a date yet. It was definitely awkward. 

“Hey Buck?”

“What’s up Superman?” Buck asked. 

“What were you and Dad doing?” Buck’s ears turned red. Christopher was way too observant to leave what he saw alone. Of course he was going to ask a question. “Because it looked like you were kissing.” Buck glanced at the doorway of the kitchen, wondering where Eddie was. He didn’t exactly know what to say, how to explain anything. 

“Would that bother you?” Buck asked. He didn’t have answers for what he and Eddie were, but if that notion upset Christopher then he’d stop it immediately. Christopher was too important to both of them to do anything that upset him. 

“No.” Buck tilted his head a little. 

“Really?”

“You’re the best Buck,” Christopher said. “And you make dad happy. And people who kiss like that end up dating and I think that would make dad really happy.”

“You’re a pretty great kid, you know that?” Christopher just smiled and Buck walked over to him. He picked him up and hugged him tightly. 

“You and dad dating would make me really happy too.” Buck smiled and pressed a kiss to the side of the boy’s head. 

“Alright, I have the cup.” Buck glanced over at Eddie as he walked back in. Something about Eddie’s face made Buck wonder if he had heard what Christopher said. 

“Can you both tuck me in?” Christopher asked as Eddie filled the cup up with water. Buck glanced at Eddie, who just smiled. 

“Sure mijo.” Buck grabbed the baby monitor before carrying Christopher out of the kitchen. Once he made it to Christopher’s room, he gently set the boy down on the bed. He helped Christopher get situated in the bed as Eddie set the cup down on his nightstand. “Alright, water is all set and you’re tucked back in.”

“I need another kiss good night,” Christopher said. “From both of you.” Eddie glanced at Buck, who chuckled. 

“Kids, am I right?” Eddie leaned down and pressed a kiss to his son’s forehead. “Good night mijo.” He moved out of the way and Buck leaned down, kissing Christopher’s forehead. 

“Night Superman.”

“I love you,” Christopher said, already starting to drift back to sleep. “Both of you.”

“Love you too kid,” Eddie said as he and Buck exited the room. As Eddie pulled the door close, Buck opened his mouth to speak.

But then Eddie backed him into the wall, pressing a kiss to his lips. Buck melted into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Eddie’s waist. Buck would’ve gladly kissed Eddie for as long as possible. But he didn’t really need a repeat of the kitchen incident. So, he pulled away, letting his forehead fall against Eddie’s.

“So, I guess you overheard?” Buck asked and Eddie nodded. Buck smiled before letting out a small sigh. Eddie stepped back and Buck looked down at the baby monitor in his hand. “I guess I should get myself and Holly home.”

“Or you could just stay,” Eddie said. “With me.” Buck felt his stomach do a couple flips at the idea of sharing a bed with Eddie. “I told you Buck, I want this.”

“I thought you wanted to take me on a date first.”

“Well, I’m impatient,” Eddie said. “And Christopher already said he’s okay with it. So why not?”

“We are still going to go on a date, right?” Eddie just chuckled and Buck smiled at him. 

“Yes, after you win.” Buck nodded. “So?”

“On one condition.” Eddie raised an eyebrow. “We move Holly into your room. I don’t like being away from her for too long.” Eddie just smiled. 

“You’re adorable.” Buck blushed at that. “And yes, we can do that.” Buck smiled, and feeling a little brazen, he pressed a chaste kiss to Eddie’s lips. “You grab Holly and I’ll grab the crib. And then we can go to sleep. Together.”

“I like the sound of that.” And they just smiled at each other, a sense of pure unadulterated happiness emanating from both of them.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What’s going on here?” Eddie asked, his voice tinged with sleepiness.
> 
> “Chris was mad we were having a sleepover without him.”

Buck let out a sigh as his eyes slowly opened. It took him a minute to remember where he was. He felt a blush creep up his cheeks when he remembered he was in Eddie’s room, in Eddie’s bed, after Eddie had asked him to stay over. A smile broke out across his face as he looked at Eddie, still fast asleep, his face looking calm and serene. Buck was tempted to lean over and kiss him when he heard the door open. He looked towards the door, seeing Christopher standing there. 

“Hey Superman,” Buck said as Christopher entered the room. As he looked at Christopher, he noticed a pout on the boy’s face. “What’s wrong?”

“You had a sleepover without me.” Buck chuckled before sitting up a little.

“I’m sorry buddy,” Buck said. “How about you join us, since it’s still early?” Christopher nodded and Buck scooped him up, gently depositing him in the middle of the bed. It was enough motion to wake Eddie, who made a noise in response. He reached his hand out and tapped Christopher’s leg. He opened his eyes, taking in the scene before him.

“What’s going on here?” Eddie asked, his voice tinged with sleepiness.

“Chris was mad we were having a sleepover without him.” Eddie chuckled.

“Can’t have that,” Eddie said, reaching out to help Christopher get comfortable. As the nine-year-old curled into his dad’s side, Eddie glanced at Buck. He reached his hand out over Christopher’s head. Buck let his fingers interlace with Eddie’s as the brunette tugged him to lie back down. Eddie just smiled, pressing a kiss to his son’s head and running his thumb across Buck’s hand. And Buck just smiled before he let his eyes drift back shut.

* * *

When Buck woke up next, he wasn’t sure how much time passed. However, he was sure the reason he was waking up again was because of Holly. He glanced across the room where the travel crib had been set up. The infant was sitting up, whining. Buck glanced at Eddie and Christopher, who were both still fast asleep. His cheeks flushed again, seeing Eddie still holding onto his hand. He did his best to gently let go, before getting up and crossing to his daughter. 

“Morning peanut,” He whispered, scooping her up. He kissed her head before quickly heading out of the room, not trying to disturb either sleeping Diaz. “Are you hungry, peanut?” Holly made a little noise and Buck smiled. “Yeah, I’m hungry when I wake up too.” As he entered the kitchen, he opened the refrigerator, grateful that he was so over-prepared and brought a few extra bottles. He balanced Holly in one arm as he prepared the bottle. Once she was all set, Buck set about making some coffee. 

As he moved about the kitchen, he found his thoughts drifting back to the previous night. None of it had been what he had expected when he had arrived the previous day. He didn’t want to get too hopeful, but it finally felt like things were going his way. He had a great lawyer who believed there was no way he could lose custody, he was finally figuring out exactly what he and Eddie were, and whatever they did become it was clear Christopher would be more than okay with it. So, as much as he didn’t want to get his hopes up, he felt too happy not to. 

“Morning.” He turned, spotting Eddie leaning against the wall of the kitchen’s entrance.

“Morning,” Buck said with a smile. “We didn’t wake you, did we?”

“I felt the bed move when you got up,” Eddie said, walking into the kitchen. “But it’s fine. I don’t sleep in this late normally.” Buck just nodded as Eddie poured himself a cup of coffee. 

“So,” Buck started, shifting Holly a little in his arms. “You asked me to stay over last night. And Christopher is more than okay with us.” Eddie just nodded. “I guess...What does that make us?”

“I’ve told you that I don’t want to be selfish,” Eddie said, putting his cup down. “And I don’t want you to get distracted from what’s important. But all of this just feels right and I did promise you that I would be there for you.”

“So…” Eddie sighed. Labelling whatever they were felt weird. “Look, I know you said you didn’t want to rush things but it kind of feels like we’ve already been dating for awhile, without all the romantic parts, you know?” Eddie chuckled. 

“That’s true,” Eddie said with a small smile. “So, we’re dating then. But, I still want to wait until after the case to take you out on a real date.” Buck smiled. 

“I’m fine with that.” Buck just felt his heart soar. Everything was really going his way. “I’d kiss you now, if I wasn’t holding my daughter.”

“Since when has a kid in one of our arms stopped you before?” Buck chuckled, remembering his rather smooth move. He shrugged and then walked over to Eddie. Eddie gently wrapped his hand around Buck’s waist, pulling him closer, before pressing a chaste kiss to Buck’s lips. Buck tried to chase his lips for another kiss, but Eddie chuckled. “I’d let us both get distracted, but we’re going to have a hungry nine-year-old in here any second who will probably be craving pancakes.”

“Well then I’m going to need both my hands,” Buck said with a chuckle. Eddie nodded, taking Holly from his arms, who was still working on her bottle. “Make sure my little peanut finishes the whole thing.” Eddie chuckled but nodded, rocking Holly as little as she ate. And Buck just smiled as he started on breakfast, grateful for this continued pocket of happiness.

* * *

“You’ve got chocolate on your face, mijo.” Christopher let out a giggle as Eddie reached over to wipe the mess of chocolate off his face. Buck had made chocolate chip pancakes, much to the delight of Christopher. Eddie couldn’t help but smile, even if his son was basically wearing his breakfast. 

“Can we go to the park later dad?” Christopher asked. 

“Sure,” Eddie said with a smile. 

“You should call Hen and see if she and Karen want to bring Denny and Nia,” Buck suggested. Eddie nodded with a smile. “What do you think, Chris? Park playdate with Denny?”

“Yeah!”

“I’ll call Hen after we finish breakfast,” Eddie said. “Do you need to head home for a bit?”

“Mostly just to freshen up and get some clean clothes for myself and the little peanut,” Buck said, glancing down at Holly, who was in his lap. She babbled a little and Buck chuckled, kissing her head. Eddie was about to say something when Buck’s phone began ringing. Eddie plucked Holly off of Buck’s lap and he sent him an appreciative smile as he stood up. 

“I need to take this,” Buck said. Eddie gave him a look and Buck glanced at Christopher, noticing he wasn’t paying attention before mouthing ‘ _ lawyer _ ’. Eddie nodded, before Buck disappeared into the living room. Eddie had to wonder why Buck’s lawyer would be calling him on a Sunday morning, but he hoped it was for a good reason. 

He was able to ignore his mounting concern for a few minutes, as Christopher started talking about an animated movie that was coming out soon that he wanted to see. But as the minutes ticked on and Buck didn’t return, Eddie grew concerned.

“I’ll be right back kid,” Eddie said, getting up with Holly in his arms. He walked into the living room, looking around for Buck. He spotted Buck, sitting on the couch, his head in his hands. “Buck?” He quickly set Holly down on the play mat in the living room and crossed to Buck. “What’s wrong?”

“That was Jennifer,” Buck said quietly. When he looked up, Eddie could see concern on his face. “Ali did leave a will. And she left her parents as Holly’s full guardians. And because of that, Mackey opted to move the case up.”

“To when?”

“This week.” Eddie grimaced. “I don’t….I can’t lose her, Eddie. I just can’t.” Eddie tugged Buck into a hug, not sure what to say. Ali’s parents being named Holly’s guardians complicated matters. He could feel Buck shaking and knew that Buck’s panic was building. After the happiness of the last twenty four hours, this felt like a slap in the face, like Buck wasn’t allowed to truly be happy. And that upset Eddie because how could he even think about being happy when Buck was unhappy?

It felt like the universe was against them and their happiness.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s going to be okay Buck.” Buck just sighed. He wanted to believe that. He wanted to believe that he was going to be able to keep raising his daughter. He was about to say something when Chase Mackey walked up with the Martin’s. Mackey simply gave Buck a smug look, while the Martin’s glared at him, before heading into the courtroom.

“Your tie’s crooked.” Buck huffed out a sigh as he sat outside of the courtroom. Maddie was standing nearby, a hand resting on her protruding belly. 

“I was a little stressed getting dressed this morning,” Buck said, fixing his tie. Maddie sighed and sat down next to him. 

“Is Holly with Carla?” Buck just nodded. Maddie took his hand and squeezed it. “It’s going to be okay Buck.” Buck just sighed. He wanted to believe that. He wanted to believe that he was going to be able to keep raising his daughter. He was about to say something when Chase Mackey walked up with the Martin’s. Mackey simply gave Buck a smug look, while the Martin’s glared at him, before heading into the courtroom. Buck just sighed again. 

“Good morning Mr. Buckley.” Buck stood up as he saw Jennifer approaching. “Are you ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.” Jennifer offered him a smile. 

“Guardianship aside, you are the child’s father,” Jennifer said. “In the judge’s eye, the parent is often the best person for custody. Especially in this case.” 

“Like I said,” Maddie said, standing up next to her brother. “Everything is going to be okay.” Buck glanced at Maddie who offered him a smile. 

“Let’s head in, shall we?” Buck just nodded, following Jennifer and Maddie into the courtroom. As he walked in, he forced himself to remember what Frank had told him. He needed to not only fight for his daughter, but he needed to win. 

Well today was the day to win.

* * *

“Good morning counselors.” Buck tried to keep his hands still as he sat next to Jennifer. Mackey and the Martin’s were at the table some feet away. Mackey still had the same smug look on his face that seemed to live there. Buck just had to hope that Jennifer could wipe that look off his face by the end of the case. “We’re all here today to determine the custody of a child. Please keep that in mind, that we are thinking about the child and the best home for her. I will not allow my courtroom to be turned into a circus, understand?” There was a nod from both lawyers. “Mr. Mackey, your opening statement.” Buck tried not to grimace as Chase Mackey stood with an air of confidence

“Your honor, we are here because of a tragedy,” Mackey began. “Ali Martin passed away, leaving behind two grieving parents and her daughter. She left her daughter in the care of her parents, a clear selected guardianship. Mr. Buckley was not in the child’s life, nor did Ms. Martin want him to be. For the safety of the child, she needs to be with her grandparents as Ms. Martin would have wanted and not with her reckless ex-boyfriend.” 

Buck felt that familiar panic clawing its way up. He was terrified of losing Holly. But he couldn’t panic. So instead, he glanced around the courtroom. Maddie was sitting right behind him and she sent him a reassuring smile. Bobby and Athena were behind her, both offering him a comforting nod.

And then there was Eddie. 

Something about seeing Eddie calmed Buck down. It reminded Buck of everything Eddie had promised him. It made him feel like everything would work out. And of course, the smile Eddie sent him certainly helped as well. 

“Ms. Lee, your opening statement.” Buck glanced at Jennifer, who offered him a smile before standing up. 

“Your honor, though Mr. Mackey believes we are here because of one tragedy, we are actually here because of two.” Buck just watched Jennifer. She was cool and calm under pressure. It made him certain that he had made the right choice in hiring her. “Yes, what happened to Ms. Martin is a tragedy. But the decision to leave Mr. Buckley out of his daughter’s life is also a tragedy. Mr. Buckley is an upstanding citizen and a heroic member of the Los Angeles Fire Department. He has done nothing that states that he isn’t deserving to be a father. Guardianship can only be determined if both parents are out of the picture. Mr. Buckley was not given that opportunity until a few months ago. For the good of the child, Mr. Buckley needs to be granted full custody of his daughter.”

As she sat back down, Buck sighed internally. This was only the beginning of a very long day.

* * *

“Ms. Lee, you may call your first character witness.”

“I’d like to call Captain Robert Nash to the stand.” Buck watched as Bobby crossed to the stand, in his dress uniform. Since Jennifer was going with the ‘Buck is a heroic firefighter route’ she had asked Bobby to wear his uniform. After Bobby was sworn in, he took a seat. 

“Captain Nash,” Jennifer began, crossing to the stand. “How long have you known Mr. Buckley?”

“Almost four years,” Bobby said.

“And how would you describe his work at your station?”

“Buck is one of the most dedicated firefighters I have worked with,” Bobby said. “He’s an excellent firefighter whose focus is doing his best work day in and day out.”

“And has Mr. Buckley ever shown any reckless tendencies on the job?”

“Objection your honor,” Mackey said, standing up quickly. “Ms. Lee cannot simply ask Captain Nash if Mr. Buckley is reckless.”

“As his captain, Captain Nash would know best how Mr. Buckley works on the job,” Jennifer pointed out.

“Overruled,” The judge said. “And Mr. Mackey, I suggest you watch your tone.” Mackey huffed but sat down. “Captain Nash, you may answer Ms. Lee’s question.”

“Buck has never acted recklessly on the job,” Bobby said. “He thinks through every decision and rescue. Not to mention, any rescue he attempts, I clear first.”

“Thank you Captain Nash,” Jennifer said with a smile. “No further questions.” Bobby just nodded to Buck, who was feeling a little better. 

But then Mackey stood up.

“Captain Nash,” Mackey began, walking over to him. “Your opinion is that Mr. Buckley isn’t reckless. But wouldn’t you say suing you and the entire Los Angeles Fire Department is reckless?” Buck blanched at the comment, but Jennifer jumped in quickly. 

“Objection your honor! Mr. Mackey worked as counsel on that case and it’s extremely unprofessional for him to bring it up now. It also throws into question whether or not he’s acting out of a form of vengeance.”

“Sustained,” The judge said. “Mr. Mackey, you will not bring up the lawsuit which you acted as Mr. Buckley’s counsel. If you do it again, I will find you in contempt of court and throw this whole case out.” Mackey threw up his hands, but there was a frustration in his eyes. 

“Captain Nash,” Mackey continued. “When Mr. Buckley was injured on the job, what was the recovery timeline he was given?”

“He was told at least three to six months of physical therapy.”

“And when did he begin the recertification process?”

“After three months.”

“So, rushing his recovery then?” Buck frowned. He hated hearing about the truck bombing and the months of recovery he went through.

“His physical therapist and the doctor who operated on him gave him the all clear,” Bobby said. “Buck wouldn’t have been able to go for recertification if they hadn’t.” Mackey pursed his lips as if trying to find a way to twist Bobby’s words. 

“But his decision to do so upset Ms. Martin to the point that she felt he wasn’t a responsible parent for their daughter,” Mackey pointed out. 

“I didn’t know Ms. Martin,” Bobby said. “But Buck was following the orders of his doctors. Whatever concerns Ms. Martin had, they weren’t based on responsibility or recklessness.”

“But one could argue that his decision to return to a field where he was injured would be reckless,” Mackey said. Bobby went to say something, but Mackey cut him off. “No further questions.” Buck slumped in his seat. Mackey was doing what he could to prove that Buck was reckless and it seemed to be working as the judge studied Bobby. 

But then Jennifer stood up.

“Captain Nash,” She began. “Can you explain to the court who Freddie Costas is?” Buck flinched a little and Bobby sent him a sympathetic smile. 

“Freddie Costas was the individual identified as the serial bomber from a year ago.” Buck tried to keep his hands still from the anxious fidgeting that was threatening to bubble up. 

“And the bomb that he placed on one of the engines from the 118,” Jennifer continued. “What was his purpose for doing that?”

“He was looking to hurt anyone who had been involved in his father’s arrest,” Bobby said. 

“Meaning?”

“He was hoping to hurt me,” Bobby said. “But I wasn’t working the day the bomb went off.”

“But Mr. Buckley was.”

“Yes.”

“So, would Mr. Buckley doing his job, on the day a serial bomber decided to bomb a firetruck, be considered reckless?”

“No. Buck was doing his job.”

“And when he decided to work to return to work?”

“He was following doctor’s orders.” Jennifer nodded. 

“No further questions.” She returned to her seat and Buck let out a sigh. As the judge let Bobby step down, Bobby just sent a compassionate smile to Buck before going back to his seat next Athena. Buck tried to stay calm, tried to keep his anxiety at bay. But the case was only just beginning. And it was clear Chase Mackey was going to make it tough at every turn for them. 


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buck just watched Maddie as she sat on the witness stand. She looked relaxed and calm, one hand resting on her growing belly. She sent a smile Buck’s way, as if telling him that it would be okay, something she had been good at for years. Buck just nodded, trying to appear as relaxed as his older sister. 

“Please state your name for the court.”

“Madeline Buckley.” Buck just watched Maddie as she sat on the witness stand. She looked relaxed and calm, one hand resting on her growing belly. She sent a smile Buck’s way, as if telling him that it would be okay, something she had been good at for years. Buck just nodded, trying to appear as relaxed as his older sister. 

“As Mr. Buckley’s sister, do you think you know your brother pretty well?” Jennifer asked. 

“Yes,” Maddie said. “I was there when he was born, when he graduated high school and college, and when he got injured last year.”

“And have you ever seen your brother interact with kids?”

“All the time,” Maddie said. “Some of his co-workers at the 118 have children and he’s great with all of them. Especially Christopher, who’s Eddie’s son.” Maddie smiled. “And he was pretty excited when I told him he was going to be an uncle.”

“And have you seen your brother with his daughter?”

“Yes.”

“Could you describe the care he has taken with his daughter?” Maddie’s smile only grew. 

“Evan’s been amazing with Holly,” Maddie began. “He’s done everything he can to be a good father and to give her the best care. And he looks at her with so much love and adoration. To me, it’s clear he’d do anything for Holly.”

“And has he done anything that would make you think he might endanger his daughter?”

“No.”

“Thank you Ms. Buckley.” Jennifer sat down. Buck eyed Mackey as he stood up. 

“Is it Ms. Buckley or Mrs. Kendall?” Buck saw Maddie stiffen at her married name. 

“I go by my maiden name now,” Maddie said. 

“I assume you made that decision after your husband died.” Buck glanced back at the people behind him. Chimney has shown up at some point and if looks could kill, he was sure Chimney’s would’ve murdered Mackey.

“What does this have to do with my brother?” Maddie asked.

“I would have to agree with Ms. Buckley,” The judge said, eyeing Mackey. “Get to your point, Mr. Mackey.”

“You said that your brother wouldn’t do anything to endanger his daughter,” Mackey began. “But wouldn’t you consider withholding evidence to be endangerment?” Buck tried to stay calm, having a bad feeling he knew where Mackey was going with this. “It certainly would be considered reckless.” Maddie just watched Mackey, not saying anything. “Let me elaborate, for the court’s purposes. A police report was filled the night you were abducted by your ex-husband. The same night Howard Han was attacked on his way to your apartment. In the police report, it was stated that Mr. Han’s cell phone was not found at the scene, but later recovered. It was recovered after your brother was seen by an eyewitness going into Mr. Han’s hospital room while he was unconscious. Sounds like a reckless act to me.”

“Does it say that my brother had the phone?” Maddie asked. “Or are you just speculating?” Mackey just smirked. 

“No, the police report does not say who had the phone when it was recovered,” Mackey said. “But, the report was written and filed by Athena Grant, who not only is married to your brother’s captain but allowed your brother to go with her while she searched for you in Big Bear.” Maddie stayed silent. “I guess my point here, Ms. Buckley, is that perhaps your brother has acted recklessly before, but has used his connections to make sure those reckless acts stay hidden.”

“Sound a lot like speculation,” Maddie said. Mackey just smirked and shrugged. 

“No further questions, your honor.” Buck felt the judge watching him, taking Mackey’s words into account. He glanced at Jennifer, who looked calm as always. 

“Ms. Buckley,” Jennifer began, standing up again. “Would you say your brother shows concern for those closest to him?”

“Yes,” Maddie said. “Buck tends to wear his heart on his sleeve, so to speak.”

“And so if one of his co-workers and close friends was injured,” Jennifer began. “On the same night that you went missing, do you believe he would’ve been concerned?”

“Yes.” Maddie said. Buck watched, starting to understand what Jennifer was doing.

“And do you think that concern would’ve made your brother go visit his friend and co-worker, even when he wasn’t supposed to?”

“Yes.”

“And do you think that same concern would’ve led him to go with a police sergeant to search for you?”

“Yes.”

“And Ms. Buckley, when your brother and Sergeant Grant found you, what was the first thing your brother did?”

“He ran over to me,” Maddie said. “I was hurt and could barely walk and Buck wanted to make sure I was okay.”

“No further questions.” Jennifer sat back down and Buck glanced at his sister. She offered him a smile and he just nodded, hoping both her and Jennifer had done enough to combat Mackey’s damage.

* * *

Buck watched as Eddie was sworn in. When Jennifer had asked for three people to act as character witnesses, Eddie was obviously his first choice. Not only did he trust Eddie implicitly, but Eddie had first hand accounts of how good Buck was with kids.

“Mr. Diaz,” Jennifer said, walking towards the witness stand. “How long have you known Mr. Buckley?”

“Two years,” Eddie said. “We met on my first day at the 118.” He glanced at Buck and Buck knew that look. It said ‘ _ remember when I first started and you were kind of an asshole? _ ’. Buck just smirked, because he had been rude to Eddie at first and was glad that he had come to his senses. Also, he had definitely reminded himself of that first time he saw Eddie a few too many times recently. 

“And would you say you two are close?”

“Yes.” Buck smiled a little. At this point, close was an understatement. 

“Close enough to say, trust Buck to watch your son?”

“There’s no one in this world that I trust more with my son than Buck.” Buck remembered the first time Eddie had uttered those words, after the tsunami when he was still willing to let Buck watch Christopher, even after losing him during the tsunami. It had meant something then and it meant even more now, as they continued to step further into a new direction for their relationship. 

“No further questions.” Buck sat up a little taller when Mackey approached the stand. He was a scumbag, that was for sure, and he could only worry what Mackey would say to try and derail Eddie’s testimony. 

“You said you trust Mr. Buckley with your son,” Mackey began. “Even if that trust means Mr. Buckley putting your son in danger. Like say on September 30th of last year?” Eddie narrowed his eyes at Mackey. 

“I don’t think you can blame Buck for a natural disaster,” Eddie said. “Since September 30th was when the tsunami hit the Santa Monica pier.”

“Was it not Mr. Buckley’s idea to bring your son to the pier?”

“No.” Buck watched Eddie. “I asked Buck to watch Christopher that day. I suggested they go out and do something. So, if you’re going to try and blame a natural disaster on someone, it’s not going to be Buck.”

“And what about when your son went missing that day?” Mackey asked. “Or did Mr. Buckley not admit to you that he lost track of your son during the tsunami?” Buck frowned, wanting to look away. He hated thinking about that day. He hated remembering the sounds of Christopher’s shouts when he tumbled off the truck and back into the water. A part of him still felt guilty for what happened that day and Mackey bringing it up just reminded him of all that guilt.

“Buck also searched for hours trying to find my son,” Eddie said. “To the point that he nearly passed out from exhaustion.”

“It just seems that Mr. Buckley makes reckless decisions and then tries to make up for them after the fact,” Mackey pointed out. “Is the endangerment of his daughter worth that, when she has two loving grandparents who would be willing to take care of her and keep her safe?” Mackey was about to say something as he headed back to his seat, when Eddie stopped him.

“You don’t have kids, do you?” Mackey turned back towards Eddie, raising an eyebrow at his question. He smirked before answering. 

“No, I do not.”

“Then you don’t know what a parent would do for their child.” Buck watched Eddie, panic swirling with the all-confirming adoration that Buck had for Eddie. “You wouldn’t understand the bond between a child and their parent. You wouldn’t understand how much a parent loves their child from the moment they hold them in their arms. You don’t understand that Mr. Mackey. But Buck does. He loves his daughter more than anything on this earth. He’s her parent. He’s the one who should be raising her.” Mackey frowned but Buck felt a smile cross his face. Eddie’s words, the sincerity behind them, they were worth more than Buck could ever describe.

“No further questions.” As Eddie stepped down and walked past Buck’s table, he sent the blonde a small smile and Buck felt his heart soar. This whole situation was awful, but hearing all of that from Eddie made the panic lessen, even if just for a second.

* * *

Buck felt a little jittery as he sat down on the witness stand, after being sworn in. He knew Mackey was going to try and destroy him, but he just had to stay calm and hope that Jennifer could show that he was a good parent. 

“Mr. Buckley, when did you first find out about your daughter?”

“Two months ago,” Buck said. “The 118 was responding to a multiple car collision on the freeway. Ali was driving one of the cars that was in the collision. As we were trying to help her, I saw a baby in the back seat. Ali kept apologizing to me before asking me to help her.”

“And did Ms. Martin confirm that the child in the car was yours?”

“Yes.”

“And what was her reason for keeping this rather pertinent information from you?”

“We had had a fight last July,” Buck began. “Ali didn’t want me to go back to being a firefighter. When I told her that my physical therapy was going well and I could start looking into getting back to work, she got upset. She started yelling and crying about my wanting to go back to work before she finally stormed out. When I tried to call her the next day, her phone number had been changed.”

“So, she withheld the news of her pregnancy because she was scared about you going back to work?”

“Yes.”

“When you spoke with Ms. Martin in the hospital, did she tell you that she wanted her parents to raise your daughter?”

“No.”

“Did she tell you that she wanted you to help raise her daughter?”

“Yes.” He sighed remembering his last conversation with Ali. “She said she was sorry for not telling me but that she was glad that Holly had both of us.”

“No further questions.” Buck sighed internally. Everything had gone as rehearsed with Jennifer. But now, it was Mackey’s turn. And he knew Mackey was out to destroy him. 

“Mr. Buckley,” Mackey said, standing up. “Are we really meant to believe this conversation happened?” Buck stared at Mackey, shocked by his statement. “I assume you had this conversation with Ms. Martin alone. So, are we really to believe that she told you she wanted you to be a part of your daughter’s life after keeping her pregnancy and the child from you for the last year?”

“Objection your honor,” Jennifer said. “Mr. Mackey cannot just speculate whether or not this conversation happened.”

“Sustained,” The judge said. “Watch yourself Mr. Mackey.”

“I’ll rephrase,” Mackey said, though the smirk was still on his face. “Why should the court believe that Ms. Martin would suddenly want you in your daughter’s life?”

“I suppose the car accident changed her mind,” Buck said. “I can’t tell you why Ali changed her mind, but that she did.” 

“And when you work twenty-four shifts,” Mackey continued. “Who will be taking care of your daughter?”

“I have multiple child care options.”

“Seems unfair for a child to spend so much time away from her father,” Mackey said. “Especially when you’ll be away from her for so long to continue working a job that the child’s mother had already expressed concern about.”

“Objection,” Jennifer said again. “Is there a question in there?”

“Withdrawn,” Mackey said. “No further questions.” Buck wanted to sink down in his seat, feeling defeated by Mackey’s line of questioning. Mackey was not only making him out to be a reckless parent, but selfish as well for wanting to do his job. 

“Mr. Buckley,” Jennifer said, standing up. “Why do you think you should raise your daughter instead of the Martin’s?”

“I know Ali made a lot of decisions for Holly,” Buck began. “But she made those decisions without me, without considering how much I would want to be in our daughter’s life. I know it’s been a short amount of time, but I love her so much. I would do anything for Holly and I just want the opportunity to raise her and be her dad.”

“No further questions.” Buck sighed and glanced at the judge.

“You may step down Mr. Buckley.” Buck nodded and got up, moving from the witness stand to his seat next to Jennifer. “Mr. Mackey?”

“The prosecution rests your honor.”

“Ms. Lee?”

“The defense rests your honor.” Buck bit his lip as he glanced over at Mackey’s and the Martin’s. He wasn’t sure if they had done enough to tank his chances at custody, but he had to hope that wasn’t the case. He had to hope that Jennifer could use her closing statement to make him look like the best parent possible. 

* * *

Chase Mackey had an insane amount of bravado as he stood up from his seat. It was clear he felt he could still win the case. And that always made Buck nervous. 

“Your honor, the loss of Ali Martin is a tragedy,” Mackey began. “But we can honor her memory by following her decision set in her will. You can grant full custody to the child’s grandparents who can be there for her at any moment of the day, unlike Mr. Buckley, who continues to put his dangerous job first. You can grant custody to Daniel and Eileen Martin, who have already lost their daughter and don’t deserve to lose their granddaughter. We need to remember what Ms. Martin wanted for her daughter.”

As Mackey sat back down, Buck felt the familiar sense of panic clawing its way up. Mackey’s closing statement was good. He just had to hope that Jennifer’s was better. He glanced over at her as she stood up. 

“Your honor, Mr. Mackey is only right about one thing,” Jennifer began. “That the loss of Ali Martin is a tragedy. But taking the child away from her loving father, who already has lost so much time with her, would also be a tragedy. Mr. Buckley is a responsible young man, a respected firefighter and the best person to raise his daughter. While I am sure the Martin’s are good people, they are not the best person to raise the child. Mr. Buckley is and it would be cruel of the court to take away his chance to raise his daughter, after he has already lost so much time.” She sat back down as the judge looked at all of the parties involved. 

“Thank you counselors,” The judge began. “I will take this all into consideration. Court is adjourned.” Buck watched her go, trying to stay calm.

“What do we do now?” Buck asked, after the judge was gone. Jennifer patted his shoulder, a reassuring smile on her face. 

“Now we wait.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buck’s leg bounced up and down as he sat outside of the courtroom. It had been about a half an hour since court had adjourned. Buck didn’t know how long it would take, but he knew he would be anxious the whole time he had to wait. 

Buck’s leg bounced up and down as he sat outside of the courtroom. It had been about a half an hour since court had adjourned. Buck didn’t know how long it would take, but he knew he would be anxious the whole time he had to wait. 

His knee stopped when he felt Eddie’s hand on his thigh. He glanced over at the brunette, who had sat down next to him. 

“I’d ask how you're doing, but your body language speaks volumes.” Buck just nodded with a sigh. 

“Mackey did a good job of making me look bad,” Buck said. “I’m just worried he did enough damage for the judge to rule that Ali’s parents should be Holly’s guardians.”

“I think your lawyer and your character witnesses did a better job,” Eddie said, nudging Buck’s shoulder with his. “So, it’s time to be hopeful. You’re going to win and then…” He glanced at Buck, a smile on his face. 

“Are you already working on some ideas?” Buck asked, smiling slightly. 

“Just figuring out if I need to go all out or just do something classic.” Buck smiled, his hand glancing down at Eddie’s which was still sitting on his thigh. 

“I’m sure I’ll like whatever you decide.” Eddie chuckled, moving his hand away. Buck wondered why, but then he saw Maddie and Chimney approaching. Eddie got up, offering Maddie his seat, which she smiled at. 

“Are you okay?” Maddie asked, glancing at her brother. Buck just sighed and Maddie wrapped her hand around his arm. Buck was about to say something when Jennifer was suddenly in front of them.

“The judge has made her decision.” Buck felt his chest tighten. 

“That was fast.” He could feel the panic rising. How could she have made a decision so quickly? Was she granting custody to the Martin’s? Was he about to lose his daughter? He felt Maddie squeeze his arm, trying to bring him down from his spiral of panic. 

“Not a good or bad thing,” Jennifer said. “It just means she had enough evidence to make her decision. Come on.” Buck stood up and let another sigh. 

“Whatever happens,” Buck said. “Thank you. You’re an excellent lawyer.”

“Chin up Mr. Buckley,” Jennifer said with a smile. “I have a good feeling about this.” Buck nodded, glancing at Maddie, Chimney, and Eddie. Chimney gave him a nod and Maddie smiled at her brother. Eddie reached out and squeezed his shoulder, showing a silent form of support. And Buck just took a deep breath, hoping they were about to receive good news.

* * *

Buck sat up as straight as possible as he watched the judge. She was about to deliver her verdict. He was trying to stay calm, but no matter what he did, the panic was still there. Maybe it was the smug look on Mackey’s face. Maybe it was the hateful glare from Ali’s father when Buck was on the witness stand. Maybe it was the guilt from missing the first six months of Holly’s life. Either way, the panic was there and he was worried he would have another breakdown if he lost custody. 

“Thank you for your patience,” The judge began. “I have taken all of the character witnesses' testimonies, along with Mr. Buckley’s testimony, and Ms. Martin’s will into consideration. Based on everything I have seen and heard today, it is my decision to grant full custody of the child Holly Martin-Buckley to her father Evan Buckley.” The judge banged her gavel and Buck thought he could cry out of relief. He was going to get to raise his daughter. 

“No!” All eyes fell on Ali’s father who had slammed his hands on the table in front of him in a rage Buck hadn’t thought was possible. “No! My daughter wanted her to be with us! She deserves to come home with us!”

“Mr. Mackey, control your client.” Mackey, who looked absolutely defeated, reached for his arm, but Mr. Martin knocked it away. “Sir, if you do not calm down…” But he was already stalking over to Buck. Buck could see out of the corner of his eye, Eddie and Bobby moving towards him. 

“She will come home with us, you hear me!” Buck just stared up at him, saying nothing. He could do nothing but watch as Daniel Martin launched himself at him, only to be stopped by the bailiff. 

“Bailiff, remove this man from my courtroom at once!” Buck just watched in startled shock as Ali’s dad was dragged out of the courtroom, still screaming about Holly. Mackey and Ali’s mom followed wordlessly after. Once they were gone, an eerie silence settled over the court. “Mr. Buckley, I’m sorry for that. But my ruling stands, full custody has been granted to you.”

“Thank you.” The judge just nodded. 

“Court is adjourned.” She banged the gavel again before leaving the room. Buck let out a long sigh, still not full processing what had just happened, before looking at Jennifer. 

“I told you I had a good feeling.” Buck attempted a smile before standing up. She reached her hand out and he shook her hand before watching her leave. 

And then he was bombarded by everyone else. 

“Are you okay?” Maddie asked, hugging him tightly. Buck sighed and hugged her back. 

“I’m in shock from a lot of things,” Buck said. “But I’m also really happy. I can’t wait to go home.” Maddie smiled and let go of him. 

“This was nothing if not exciting,” Athena said. “And as a police sergeant, I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t suggest you put a restraining order out against that man.”

“I’ll look into it tomorrow,” Buck said with a sigh. “Right now, I just want to go home and see my daughter.”

“I can give you a ride,” Eddie said. Buck had gotten a ride with Maddie because he had been too anxious that morning to drive himself. “Besides, I think Carla’s picked up Christopher from school by now.” Buck just nodded. 

“Give my niece a big kiss from me,” Maddie said, hugging her brother again. Buck just nodded. His relief was immense. He was going home to his daughter. Everything had worked out. And then he noticed the sly smile Eddie was giving him and he couldn’t help but smile. Because Eddie had made him a promise and he had won his case.

Things were truly going his way.

* * *

Eddie pulled his truck into the visitor parking spot next to Buck’s jeep. He turned the car off but didn’t get out of the car right away. Instead, he turned to face Buck. 

“So,” Buck said, a small smile on his face. “I won.”

“So you did,” Eddie said, smiling back. He unbuckled his seatbelt, letting himself fully face Buck.

“And I think,” Buck continued, his hand moving where it had been resting on his thigh to cover Eddie’s. “You said that once I won that you wanted to take me out on a date.”

“I did say that.” Eddie let his fingers interlock with Buck. Buck watched him, a sweet smile on his face. Eddie just smiled back, waiting for the right moment.

“So?” Eddie chuckled before tugging Buck towards him. Buck let out a surprised yelp before the sound was muffled when Eddie covered Buck’s lips with his, kissing him with a renewed fervor. When he pulled away, he couldn’t help but smirk at the completely blissed out look on Buck’s face or the way he chased after Eddie’s lips. 

“How about tomorrow night?” Eddie asked. Buck just nodded a little dumbfounded before a smile spread across his face. “Good. We can figure the rest of the details out later. Come on.” He exited the car, still chuckling at the expression on Buck’s face. Buck followed out of the car after him. Sometimes, especially in that moment, Eddie understood why Hen joked that Buck was the human embodiment of a golden retriever. And now, Eddie could admit that it was pretty cute, that dopey grin on Buck’s face or the way he trailed after him. 

“Ready?” Eddie asked when they reached the door. Buck just smiled brightly before opening the door. His smile only grew when he saw Carla holding Holly. Carla turned towards the door, smiling when she saw both of them. 

“Well?” She asked. Buck just crossed to her, taking Holly from her arms. The infant babbled happily and Buck just kissed her head. Eddie just watched as he walked into the apartment, closing the door behind him. “Don’t leave me in suspense. What happened?”

“I won,” Buck said with the same smile that hadn’t left his face. “I get to be her dad. I get to raise her.”

“As you always should have,” Carla said with a smile. “I’m happy for you, Buckaroo.”

“We all are.” And as Eddie watched Buck, doting over his daughter, he knew the smile hadn’t left his face either. Because long gone were his excuses of not wanting to be selfish. Buck had won the custody case. He had a handle on being a dad. Now they could focus on their blossoming relationship. 

And Eddie was going to plan the best damn date possible. They both deserved as much.

* * *

“Mads, you were supposed to be here five minutes ago.” Buck was sitting on the couch, his phone pressed to his ear and a different kind of anxiety then he was used to running through him. 

Tonight, he was going on a date with Eddie.

It shouldn’t have been freaking him out so much. It was Eddie after all. He knew Eddie far too well and the same could be said for Eddie knowing him. And it wasn’t like they hadn’t gone to a bar or grabbed a bite to eat together before. But this was different. They had hurdled over that line they had been dancing around for awhile into something new and different. He was both anxious and excited. 

“ _ Well I’m moving a little slowly _ ,” Maddie huffed. “ _ I am twenty five weeks pregnant _ .” Buck just huffed. “ _ Look, we’ll be there soon, okay _ ?”

“Fine,” Buck grumbled before ending the call. He put his phone down and looked at Holly, who was playing on the floor. “Your aunt needs to hurry up, peanut. Dad’s got an important date tonight.” Holly just looked at him with adorable confusion before holding a toy out to him. Buck chuckled, getting down on the floor to kiss his daughter’s head. He was about to start playing with Holly, figuring that could pass the time, when there was a knock on the door. 

“Why didn’t your aunt Maddie just use her key?” He asked looking at Holly. There was another knock and Buck sighed before getting up. “Yes, I heard you Maddie. I’m coming.” He figured he’d grab his phone after he went over numbers and other pertinent details with Maddie. He opened the door, ready to say something to Maddie. 

But it wasn’t Maddie standing on the other side. 

“What are you doing here?”

And then everything went dark.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her giggled died in her throat as she saw Buck’s door wide open. Something in her knew that was horribly wrong, panic swirling in her gut, and she ran towards Buck’s apartment. 

“Howie, come on.” Maddie made her way down the hallway of Buck’s apartment building. She knew her brother was impatient for them to get there, his phone call had told her that much. 

“Buck can wait one more minute,” Chimney said. “I still can’t believe he’s going on a date with Eddie. I’m still so confused how I missed all of that.”

“I have to agree,” Maddie said with a smirk. “I noticed my brother had a crush on Eddie a month into living here.” 

“Well sorry I don’t pay enough attention to your brother’s love life,” Chimney said with a scoff and Maddie giggled. Her giggled died in her throat as she saw Buck’s door wide open. Something in her knew that was horribly wrong, panic swirling in her gut, and she ran towards Buck’s apartment. 

“Evan!” She found Buck on the ground, bruises along his face and blood pooling from the back of his head. “Howie! Call 9-1-1!” She went running into the kitchen looking for towels and a first aid kit. She could hear Chimney on the phone, but something felt wrong. The apartment was too quiet. 

She gasped, realizing why. 

She dumped the items she had grabbed by Chimney, who had jumped into paramedic mode. And Maddie went looking for her niece. If Buck had been attacked, wouldn’t Holly have been crying or at least be making a sound? But as Maddie searched through the apartment, she couldn’t find her niece. 

“No,” She gasped out, tears springing to her eyes. Holly was gone. Whoever attacked Buck had taken his daughter. 

“Maddie!” Chimney shouted, getting her attention. She was by his side, trying to help. He noticed the tears in her eyes. “Maddie?”

“Holly’s gone.” Chimney’s eyes went wide, fear crossing his face. “Whoever...they took her.”

“We…” She could see the concern on her boyfriend’s face. “We need to stop the bleeding. We need to help Buck.” Maddie just nodded, knowing they had to focus on what they could do, all the while feeling terror for what had happened to Holly.

* * *

Eddie drummed his fingers against the steering wheel. He had gotten to the restaurant a little early, probably because of his nerves. He didn’t know why he was nervous, it was just Buck. And yet, this was different. A good different, but different. 

He was about to leave his car, when his phone started ringing. He raised his eyebrow when he saw Maddie’s name pop up on the screen. Maddie was supposed to be babysitting Holly.

“Maddie?” Eddie answered, confusion in his voice. He heard a sniff from the other end and something in his stomach dropped. 

“ _ Eddie, um, oh god _ .” Eddie gripped the steering wheel with his other hand, panic starting to mount. “ _ Buck’s not...Buck’s not going to make it tonight _ .” 

“Maddie, what happened?”

“ _ Someone attacked him _ .” Eddie felt like he was going to vomit. How could this have happened? And who would want to hurt Buck? “ _ I...I have to go. I’m riding with him to the hospital _ .”

“I’ll meet you there,” Eddie said, trying to stay calm. He ended the call and started his car back up. He was confused and terrified but what was happening. But mostly, he just needed to know that Buck was okay. 

So, pulling out of the parking lot, Eddie stepped on the gas, needing to get to the hospital as soon as possible.

* * *

A groan tumbled out of Buck’s mouth as his eyes slowly opened. His head hurt and the brightness of the light was certainly not helping. When did the lights in his apartment get so harsh and bright? And wasn’t he supposed to be somewhere?

As his eyes adjusted to the light, he realized he was in the hospital and sat up with a startled gasp.

“Buck, hey, hey, relax.” Buck looked around, trying to figure out whose voice was speaking to him. Athena was standing by the door and Eddie was sitting by his bedside. He felt Eddie’s hand trying to push him to lie back. He shook his head, confused as to why he was in the hospital. “Buck, you’re hurt. Lie back.” Buck just nodded, doing as Eddie said. 

“What...what am I doing here?” Buck asked, looking back and forth between them. 

“Do you remember what happened?” Athena asked, approaching the bed. Buck’s head was hurting and he was having a hard time remembering. He glanced at Eddie and then he remembered their date. 

“I was waiting for Maddie and Chimney to come over,” Buck said. “They were going to babysit Holly.” Buck gasped and he looked around. “Holly...where’s Holly?”

“Buck, focus,” Athena said. Buck frowned, not liking that they weren’t telling him where his daughter was. “What happened?” He winced, everything still feeling fuzzy.

“There...there was a knock on the door and I assumed it was Maddie and Chim,” Buck said. “So I went to open the door.” He felt Eddie watching him, concern on his face.

“Who was at the door, Buck?”

And then everything came rushing back to him. 

* * *

  
_ “What are you doing here?” Buck stared in shock at Ali’s dad, who was glaring at him, one arm behind his back.  _

_ “I want my granddaughter.” Buck took a step back, checking his pocket for his phone. But then he remembered that he left it on the coffee table. Ali’s dad pushed into the apartment, leaving the door open. “I want my granddaughter now!” _

_ “You need to go, now.” Buck looked towards the coffee table, wondering if he could make a break for his phone. As he glanced back at Ali’s dad, something came flying towards his face. _

_ And then everything went dark _ .

* * *

“Ali’s dad. It...It was Ali’s dad.” But before Athena could answer, a realization hit Buck. “Where’s Holly?” He looked at Eddie who had a sad look on his face. “No. No. Please no.”

“She wasn’t in your apartment when Maddie and Chimney got there.” Buck shook his head, tears springing to his eyes. Athena’s phone made a noise and she excused herself from the room. 

“He said…” Buck’s breath was coming out as short gasps again. “I didn’t think he would actually…”

“Buck, breathe, please breathe.” Eddie was grabbing for his hand, trying to calm him down. “Buck, you have to breathe.”

“He took her.” This was worse than anything he had experienced in months. Everything was supposed to be going his way. And now Holly was missing. And Buck was stuck in a hospital bed.

“Athena’s going to get to the bottom of this, okay?” Buck attempted a nod, but the panic wasn’t lessening. He didn’t know if it would until he had Holly back. Eddie reached out and wiped a tear away. “Holly’s going to come home. She’s going to be okay.” The door opened and Athena came back in. 

“Well?” Buck asked. 

“We took a look at your building’s security camera,” Athena began. “The cameras show Daniel Martin leaving your building with Holly.” Buck shut his eyes, trying not to break down.

“How did he even know where Buck lives?” Eddie asked as Buck glanced over at him.

“I have a hunch,” Athena said. “But I need to speak with Chase Mackey first.”

“That scumbag,” Eddie hissed. “I could kick his ass.” 

“Sounds like someone already did.” Eddie raised an eyebrow and Buck just watched Athena. “He was just brought in looking like someone did a number on him.”

“Athena,” Buck said, urgency in his voice. “You have to let me talk to him. 

“Buck.”

“He might know where Holly is,” Buck said. “He might...Athena, please. It’s my daughter.” He stared pleadingly at her. Athena just sighed. 

“Let me see what I can do.” She then left the room and Buck let out a strained breath. He felt Eddie take his hand and Buck looked at him. 

“We’re going to find her.” Buck wanted to believe him. But he could feel the tears building up in his eyes, along with the mounting panic. “Buck.”

“I lost her,” Buck said, the tears slipping down his cheeks. “I did everything right and I still lost her.” He couldn’t hold it in anymore. The first sob ripped through him as his body started to shake. Holly was gone and he had let Ali’s dad just take her. Eddie pulled Buck into a hug, trying to comfort him. But it wasn’t enough. His daughter was missing and Buck didn’t know if they were going to find her.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buck tried to relax as Athena wheeled him down the hallway. She said he could come with, so long as he sat in a wheelchair and didn’t speak. And Buck had agreed because he just needed to hear what Mackey had to say. 

Buck tried to relax as Athena wheeled him down the hallway. She said he could come with, so long as he sat in a wheelchair and didn’t speak. And Buck had agreed because he just needed to hear what Mackey had to say. 

They reached a hospital room and Athena pushed Buck into the room. Mackey was sitting on the hospital bed, his face covered in bruises. Buck wondered if he looked similar. Neither Athena or Eddie had let him see his face, since he was already so upset about Holly being missing. 

“Shit,” Mackey muttered as he saw them.

“Just when we thought we were done with you,” Athena said, crossing her arms over her chest. “I don’t suppose you want to tell me who messed up your pretty face?”

“Probably the same person who messed up his,” Mackey said. “Though it looks like I got the worst of it.” Athena gave him a look and he sighed. “It was Daniel Martin. He showed up at my office a few hours ago.”

“What did he want?” Athena asked. 

“To blame me for losing the case,” Mackey said. “And then he wanted Buckley’s address.”

“I’m assuming you had enough dignity to say no.” Mackey just sighed and Buck was surprised. A few weeks ago, Chase Mackey had basically admitted he wanted to destroy Buck. But it seemed, he wasn’t actually capable of it. At least not outside of a court case. 

“Look I don’t like you,” Mackey said, looking at Buck. “I think that much is clear. But your daughter, she’s a baby. She doesn’t deserve my spite. Especially not now, since you won fair and square. But you saw how he was in court. He was crazy. He had a bat and just went nuts until I gave him the address.” Buck realized then that his injuries probably came from the same bat. He hadn’t seen what he had been hit with, but a bat certainly made sense.

“Did he…” Buck started to say, but Athena put her hand on his shoulder and Buck sighed. 

“What did he say after he attacked you?” Athena asked. 

“Just that he was going to get his granddaughter,” Mackey said. “And that no one was going to stop him. Not me, not Buckley, and not his wife.” Buck looked at Athena, a sense of terror running through him. 

“Thank you for your cooperation Mr. Mackey,” Athena said. Buck sighed. He knew Mackey knowing something was a long shot, but he had been hopeful that he had known something. 

“For what it’s worth.” Buck glanced at Mackey, who had a sympathetic look on his face. “I hope you find your daughter.” Buck just nodded as Athena wheeled him out of the room. 

“He wasn’t very helpful,” Buck said with a sigh.

“Maybe not,” Athena said. “But Daniel Martin isn’t from here. He had a rental car which was still at the hotel. Along with his wife.”

“So it’s just him?” Buck asked, glancing at Athena and she nodded. “That still doesn’t help with finding Holly.” The wheelchair stopped and Athena moved so that she was standing in front of Buck. 

“Evan Buckley, after everything you have been through this last year alone, do not tell me you’re giving up now.” Buck sighed. “Listen Buckaroo, we’re going to find her. I am not going to give up until I find your daughter.”

“You’re not going to let me help you, are you?” Athena sighed and Buck frowned. “Athena, this is my daughter we’re talking about.”

“And if you weren’t injured this would be a different story,” Athena said. “But you have grade 2 concussion and substantial bruising. As much as you want to help, you need to rest.”

“And how am I supposed to rest when my daughter is missing?” Athena just sighed. 

“I’ll make sure he rests.” Buck wasn’t sure how Maddie found them, but she did. “Go find my niece. I’ll keep this one here.” Athena patted Maddie’s arm before walking away.

“Maddie.”

“Evan, no.” He frowned. “God, when I got to your apartment, I was terrified. Please, just let Athena do her job and try to recover a little.” Buck sighed, covering his face with his hands. He immediately regretted that and groaned. He looked up at Maddie and she gave him a look.

“Fine,” Buck grumbled. “But you know I won’t really be able to rest. Not until I know Holly is safe.” Maddie nodded before walking around behind him. 

“At least you can sit in the hospital bed,” Maddie said, starting to push him down the hallway. Buck just sighed. “It’s going to be okay Buck. She’s going to be okay.”

“She has to be,” Buck said quietly. He hated that he couldn’t do anything. But he knew Athena was the best person to find his daughter. So, he just had to hope that Athena could find Holly and that she would be okay. 

* * *

Eddie watched Buck, who was trying very hard to not fidget as he sat in the hospital bed. Maddie had gone to fill out paperwork to get him discharged, while Eddie kept an eye on him. Buck had been offended that Maddie had asked Eddie to make sure Buck didn’t take off, but they all knew he was itching to do something. They hadn’t heard from Athena since she left the hospital and Buck was growing more and more nervous as time passed. 

Eddie got up and nudged Buck, before sitting down next to him. Buck looked at him, the same look of concern that had been on his face since he had woken up and remembered what happened. He could tell that Buck didn’t want to talk, that he just wanted to get out of the hospital. So, Eddie just held his hand out, offering a silent form of support. Buck glanced down at Eddie’s hand and a sad look crossed his face. 

“Sorry about our date.”

“Buck,” Eddie said, turning to face him. “I don’t care about that. I care that you’re okay.” Buck sighed.

“I think the universe might be against us or something,” Buck said. Eddie raised an eyebrow, but let Buck continue. “Every time we try to take a step forward with this, something bad happens. And I want this to work, but I’m almost terrified to try and reschedule our date because I can’t imagine what else might come crashing down on us.”

“Buck,” Eddie said gently. He let his fingers interlace with Buck’s. “The universe is not against us. We’re making this work, even with every hurdle along the way. I’m not giving up on us, Buck. And neither should you.” Eddie reached his free hand up and gently ran his thumb along Buck’s cheek, careful to avoid the bruises. Eddie could see Buck thinking about what to say next and he was afraid that Buck was going to want to put the brakes on their relationship. 

But, he didn’t get to speak because Maddie came back into the room. Eddie moved away from Buck, seeing the sad look on his face. Maddie just watched them as they both stood up. 

“Ready to go?” Maddie asked. Buck nodded. “Eddie, are you coming with?”

“No, uh.” He cleared his throat, noticing that Buck wasn’t staring at his feet. “I need to get home.” Maddie just nodded and Eddie fought back a sigh. 

“Come on Maddie,” Buck said, before exiting the room. Maddie looked at Eddie, confusion all over her face. 

“I’ll send you a text,” Eddie said. “You should probably stick close to him.” Maddie just nodded before leaving the room. Eddie let out the sigh he had been holding in. Maybe Buck thought the universe was against them, but Eddie didn’t believe that. He wanted to be with Buck and he knew, despite how he was feeling at the moment, that Buck wanted to be with him.

He sighed again, pulling his phone out of his pocket as he left the room. At least he could let Maddie know what was going on while he figured out his next move.

* * *

Buck walked into the police station, Maddie right behind him. Sometimes, he was surprised at how fast she could move for how far along she was. But he could think about that another time. He needed to find Athena and see if she had an update. 

“Excuse me,” Buck said, reaching the desk at the station. “I’m looking for Sergeant Grant.” The officer gave him a once-over noting the bruises on his face. “Please, she’s looking for my daughter.” The officer was about to say something when Buck heard the door of the station open. He turned, hoping to see Athena. 

Instead he saw an officer escorting Ali’s dad, who was handcuffed. 

“Buck, they found him,” Maddie said, grabbing his arm. 

“Then where’s…” He looked around, looking for his daughter or someone who could tell him where she was. 

And then he heard a familiar cry. 

He went running towards the noise, ignoring the pain the shot through his head, remnants of his concussion. He didn’t care. He needed to get to Holly. He needed to see his daughter. He stopped, looking around wildly, trying to find her. 

And then he spotted Holly, in Athena’s arms, wailing. He let out a sigh of relief, tears almost springing to his eyes. Athena spotted him and walked over to him. Holly, who was still wailing, noticed Buck immediately and reached out for him. 

“Oh thank god,” Buck cried out, taking Holly from Athena’s arms. He held onto her tightly, rocking her in his arms. Her wailing quickly tapered off as Buck rocked her and pressed kisses to the top of her head.

“That’s the first time she’s stopped crying since we’ve found her. Broke my heart, but I knew none of us were what she needed.” Buck just looked at Athena, tears in his eyes. “What she needed was her father.” Buck looked down at Holly, who wasn’t crying anymore and Buck felt relief spread through him. 

“Thank you Athena.” Athena just nodded with a smile. And as Buck held onto Holly, he couldn’t help but feel relief that she was okay and that he had his daughter back.

* * *

Buck followed Maddie down the hallway, Holly in his arms. While he was relieved that Holly was safe, he had so much going through his mind. He stopped when Maddie reached the apartment door. She held the door open for him. He walked in but turned when he saw Maddie still standing outside. 

“Are you coming in?” Buck asked and Maddie shook her head. Buck narrowed her eyes at her and she just smiled. 

“I think you’re all taken care of.” And then she closed the door. Buck furrowed his brow before turning towards his apartment. He noticed then that the lights were dim. He stepped further in, confused as to what was going. 

His mouth dropped open when he realized what was going on. 

Eddie was standing by the table, which was set for two along with a few candles. Eddie smiled when he saw Buck. 

“What’s going on?”

“Well, we never did get our date,” Eddie said. “So, I brought the date to us.” Buck sighed and walked over to the living room. He gently set Holly down, even though he didn’t want to be too far away from her at the current moment.

“Eddie.”

“Buck, I meant what I said at the hospital.” He turned to face Eddie, who had crossed over to him. “I’m not giving up on us. On this. You are who I want to be with, impossible hurdles and all.” Buck sighed, glancing at Holly. When he had said that at the hospital, he had felt like his world was crashing down on him. But Holly was okay and safe. When he looked back at Eddie, Eddie had closed the space between them. He felt his heart beat a little faster when Eddie cradled his face in his hands. “Life is complicated, especially for us it seems. But I think this, us, is worth it.” Buck just stared back at him, not sure what to say. Normally, when things got rough, his relationships ended. And yet, Eddie was sticking around. He was willing to go through those rough patches with him.

Buck smiled, closing the distance between the two, and kissing Eddie. Eddie smiled against his lips, seemingly pleased with Buck’s decision. When Buck pulled away, he noticed the smile on Eddie’s face, a smile that he adored.

“I think it’s worth it too,” Buck said. “And I’m sorry for freaking out earlier.” Eddie chuckled and gently kissed Buck. 

“You were worried,” Eddie said, running his thumb along Buck’s jaw. “But it’s all okay. Holly’s okay and we’re okay.” Buck nodded with a smile. Eddie stepped back, letting his hands fall away from Buck’s face. “Now come on, before the food gets cold.”

“You didn’t cook it, did you?”

“Wise-ass.” Buck chuckled and Eddie rolled his eyes. “And no, it’s takeout.” He held his hand out to Buck. “Now come on.” And Buck just let his fingers interlace with Eddie’s, a smile blooming across his face.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So, I have an important question.” Eddie looked at Buck, who was standing by his stove cooking. Christopher was in the living room, playing with Legos. He had wanted to play with the Legos with Holly, but Buck was worried she was going to put the Legos in her mouth, so she was in her playpen. Christopher was still pointing out everything he was building to Holly, who was just babbling and giggling. 

“So, I have an important question.” Eddie looked at Buck, who was standing by his stove cooking. Christopher was in the living room, playing with Legos. He had wanted to play with the Legos with Holly, but Buck was worried she was going to put the Legos in her mouth, so she was in her playpen. Christopher was still pointing out everything he was building to Holly, who was just babbling and giggling. 

“That’s a weird way to state it,” Eddie said with a smirk. “But go ahead.”

“How many actual dates have we been on?” It had been about a week since the incident with Ali’s dad and their first official date.

“Why do you ask?” Eddie asked and Buck shrugged. “Buck?”

“Maddie claims that hanging out with our kids doesn’t count as a date,” Buck said and Eddie snorted.

“Your sister’s great,” Eddie started. “But after everything she and Chim have been through, I don’t know if we should let her determine what is and isn’t a date.” Buck smirked at that. “Or is this just your sneaky way of telling me that you need to be wined and dined?”

“I’m fine with what we’ve been doing,” Buck said. “My sister just gets into my head sometimes.” Eddie crossed over to Buck.

“Are you happy?” Buck raised an eyebrow at the question. “With this, us. Are you happy?”

“Yeah.” 

“So am I,” Eddie said, his hand falling to Buck’s waist. “So, that’s all that really matters.” Buck smiled and Eddie tugged him in for a hug. He felt Buck wrap his arms around him, letting his head rest in the crook of Eddie’s neck.

“Sorry,” Buck mumbled. Eddie just chuckled and pressed a kiss to Buck’s neck. “I just get in my head sometimes.” He pulled away and Eddie just smiled at Buck. 

“And I’ll gladly pull you out of being in your head.” Buck smiled at that. “Now come on. You’ve got dinner to finish.”

“Oh, is that all I’m good for?” Eddie chuckled but gently pushed Buck back towards the stove. 

* * *

Buck let his head rest on Eddie’s shoulder as the movie played on the screen. Holly had been put to bed a while ago and Christopher was fast asleep next to them, his head resting on Eddie’s thigh. One of Eddie’s hands was gently combing through Christopher’s hair as the boy slept. His other arm was wrapped around Buck, his fingers gently trailing up and down his arm.

Buck looked away from the screen to look at Eddie. After everything he had been through over the last few months and even recently, sometimes it was hard to just let himself be happy. He was still scared that something was going to happen to take that away. 

“I can hear you thinking from here.” Eddie turned to face him and Buck sighed. “Stop worrying. We’re allowed to be happy.” Buck just sighed and Eddie leaned closer to him. Buck tilted his head up, letting Eddie close the space between them. He could feel Eddie’s breath on his lips and his lips twitched into a smile. 

And then there was a knock at the door. 

Buck froze, his eyes going wide. He looked towards the door, gulping as he did. He knew it wasn’t possible, that it couldn’t be Ali’s dad, but his mind kept bringing him back to that night. Maybe it was that paranoia that made his breath start to come out in short puffs as the anxiety began to rise.

“Hey.” Eddie had both of his hands on Buck’s face. “Just breathe, alright.” Buck nodded, trying to catch his breath. There was another knock and Buck stiffened up. “Why don’t I get it?” Buck just nodded. Eddie got up and Buck turned his attention away from the door. He glanced at Christopher, who was sleeping soundly. He reached his hand over and gently ran his hand through Christopher’s hair, trying to stay calm. 

“Buck.” He looked away from Christopher towards Eddie. “It’s Athena.” Buck nodded, exhaling a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. He got up and walked over to where Eddie was. Once he was past the stairs, he could see Athena. He noticed she was holding a box. 

“Hey Buckaroo,” Athena said with a smile. 

“Hey Athena,” Buck said, attempting a smile. “What’s going on?”

“I know it’s late but I just wanted to let you know what was going on with Daniel Martin.” Buck nodded, swallowing a little. “A judge found him guilty of kidnapping and he’s being sent to a jail out of state, since he’s not from California.” Buck just nodded. “Even if he fights for early parole, he can’t get out for at least three years.”

“So it’s over,” Buck said and Athena nodded. He sighed and glanced up the stairs where Holly was sleeping. “Thanks for letting me know.” 

“There is one more thing.” Buck glanced back at Athena and she held out the box. “Eileen Martin came by the station today. With this.”

“What is it?” Buck asked, taking the box.

“She said it was from Ali’s apartment.” Buck glanced at the box in his hand. “She said it was some things that you might want for Holly.” Buck just nodded, swallowing a little.

“Thanks Athena,” Eddie said and Athena nodded. 

“You two take care, alright?” And then she left. Buck sighed, setting the box down on the table. A part of him wanted to tear the box open and dive in immediately. But a part of him wasn’t ready. 

“Are you okay?” He glanced at Eddie, who was watching him with a concerned expression.

“I just…” Buck sighed. “I don’t think I’m ready to go through it.” Eddie just nodded. 

“Let’s just go back to the movie then,” Eddie said, interlacing his fingers with Buck. Buck glanced back at the box before nodding. He wasn’t ready to look through it yet. Eddie must’ve sensed his hesitancy, but didn’t say anything. He just simply tugged him back over to the couch. Buck bit back a sigh, trying not to stare at the box. 

He wasn’t ready. Not yet at least.

* * *

Buck sat at the kitchen table the next morning. The box was still sitting there, staring at him. He knew he needed to go through it, but something was holding him back. He glanced over at Holly, who was sitting in her high chair, giggling as she attempted to eat cheerios. He hadn’t been sure when you switched infants from bottles to bottles and solid food, but both Karen and Hen assured him that Holly could handle a few cheerios. Mostly, she seemed to like grabbing them and showing them to Buck, which normally would’ve made him smile.

Buck sighed as he looked back at the box. He knew what Frank would say if he mentioned not being able to open the box. The therapist would question his hesitancy and what was holding him back. So, what was holding him back?

There was a knock at the door, followed by the sound of the door unlocking, meaning it was either Maddie or Eddie. And since Maddie was working that day, that meant it was Eddie. 

“Hey,” Eddie said, walking in. “I brought breakfast.” Buck just nodded as Eddie closed the door behind him. “Have you…” Eddie glanced at the box and Buck shook his head. Eddie placed a bag on the table before sitting down next to Buck. 

“I know I should,” Buck said with a sigh. “It could just be some toys and clothes but… what if it’s pictures? Or ultrasounds? Ali was always so organized.”

“Buck,” Eddie said, placing his hand over Buck’s. “What is this really about?” Buck glanced at Holly, a sad expression on his face. Everyone said between her blue eyes and light tufts of hair, that Holly looked like him. But there were pieces of Ali there too.

“If I open that box,” Buck said, smiling sadly when Holly held out a cheerio for him. “Then she’s really gone. Going through this box should feel like closure but...I had been talking to her Eddie. She had been fine one minute and the next she was...she was just gone. How am I supposed to process that?”

“With time,” Eddie said. “And with help. If you ask for it.” 

“Help?” Buck asked and Eddie nodded. 

“Look,” Eddie said with a sigh. “When Shannon died, I didn’t deal with it well. I let it fester and make me angry instead of dealing with the grief. I thought punching people was better than dealing with it. So, I’m here for you, for whatever you need to get through this.”

“Thank you,” Buck said with a sad sigh. “I guess I should open the box then.”

“Only if you're ready.” Buck just nodded before pulling the box over. He took off the lid and began pulling items out. At the top was a stuffed panda, which Eddie raised an eyebrow at. “Ali liked pandas. She was always trying to talk me into going to the San Diego Zoo to see them.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“Our schedules never lined up,” Buck said, placing the stuffed animal down. “Anytime I had the weekend off, she was out of town.” After the stuffed animal, he found items of clothing, which he moved aside. 

It was the next item in the box that made him tear up.

“Buck?” He lifted up the item, a tear sliding down his cheek. “Is that…”

“Holly’s hospital bracelet.” He looked at it before looking at his daughter. “I wish I could’ve been there.” He put it down and got up, picking up Holly as he did. He held her closely, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. 

“But you’re here now.” He turned to face Eddie. “You and Holly have gone through hell the last two months and you’re both okay.” Buck just nodded, kissing the top of his daughter’s head again. He set her back down in her high chair and he sighed. “Are you ready to keep going?”

“Yeah,” Buck said, sitting down next to Eddie. Eddie reached for his hand and Buck let his fingers interlace with Eddie’s. “And thank you. For being here for helping me. Just...thank you Eddie.” Eddie squeezed his hand and smiled. 

“I know how hard this can be,” Eddie said. “I did this alone after Shannon and it messed up my head for a while. So, I’m more than happy to be here for you.” Buck smiled and leaned over, pressing a soft kiss to Eddie’s lips. He felt Eddie’s free hand snake it’s way up to the nape of his neck and he was sure they would’ve fallen deeper into the moment, if Holly hadn’t started whining. Buck pulled away and looked at his daughter. 

His face softened when he saw her making grabby-hands at the stuffed panda on the table. 

“I guess she recognizes it,” Eddie said and Buck smiled a little. He picked up the panda and placed it in front of Holly. She let out a loud giggle, grabbing for the toy, a smile on her face.

“No matter what happened in the end,” Buck began, watching Holly. “No matter the lies or why she did it, Ali gave me the best thing in the world. She gave me Holly.”

“Pretty amazing, huh?” Buck glanced back at Eddie, who was watching him with a smile. He knew Eddie understood what he meant, what he was feeling going through the box. And that made it easier and even more bearable. Buck glanced back at Holly, who was happily playing with the stuffed animal, before pulling the box closer to him. Going through the box meant a sense of closure. And with his daughter happy and healthy and Eddie right there next to him, he could handle that.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie sighed as he glanced at his phone. His parents had been calling him nonstop all day and he just didn’t want to deal with it. The last time they had spoken, they had once again made comments about Eddie’s parenting style. So, Eddie wasn’t in the mood for dealing with all of that. 

Eddie sighed as he glanced at his phone. His parents had been calling him nonstop all day and he just didn’t want to deal with it. The last time they had spoken, they had once again made comments about Eddie’s parenting style. So, Eddie wasn’t in the mood for dealing with all of that. 

So, he silenced his phone and got out of his truck. 

As he made the short walk towards Christopher’s school, he smiled at the mass of children in different costumes. It was Halloween, which meant costumes, trick or treating, and Christopher passing out from a sugar high anywhere between nine and ten PM, depending on how much candy Eddie let him consume. 

This year felt different. Last year, he and Buck were barely talking. Sure, it was also the day they finally started to get back on the same page, but it had still been a rough day. He remembered his callous words towards Buck when all Buck had done was ask for some help with passing out the candy. It had been Buck’s attempt at an olive branch and Eddie had smacked it down. Sure, he had been dealing with his own crap, but a part of him wished he had pulled his head out of his ass sooner to realize how much his best friend had been hurting as well. 

But this year was going to be different. He was picking up Christopher from school and then he and Buck were taking their kids trick or treating with Hen and her whole family. It was going to be a good day.

Eddie stopped in the courtyard of the school, looking around for his son or at least his costume. He spotted Christopher’s teacher and was about to head over to her, when he heard a familiar voice. 

“Mr. Diaz.” He turned as Ana Flores made her way over to him. 

“Ms. Flores,” Eddie said with a polite smile. 

“It’s good to see you,” Ana said, smiling. “I hear Christopher’s doing well in fifth grade.”

“Yeah he loves it,” Eddie said. “I should actually go grab him. Got a big night of trick or treating.”

“Before you go,” Ana began and Eddie suddenly started to feel a little uncomfortable. “I was wondering if you wanted to get coffee sometime?”

“Oh.” She offered him a smile and Eddie rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “I’m flattered but um, I’m seeing someone right now.” Ana nodded, an embarrassed look crossing her face. 

“Right.” He just nodded, really wanting to get away from this conversation. “Well, whoever she is, she’s very lucky.” And then she was gone, which was lucky for him, because his face fell as soon as she said that.

He knew that dating Buck was different, especially for a widowed father. But he never considered what it actually meant to be dating Buck, to be dating a man. For one, after months of traumatic moments, he had just been focused on Buck being happy. And since everyone around them already knew they were dating, it wasn’t made to be weird. In fact, Hen had just muttered a ‘finally’ when she had spotted Buck kissing Eddie in the parking lot one day after work.

But Ana wasn’t the only person that was going to assume that Eddie dating someone meant he was dating a woman. In fact, his whole family would assume that. Maybe that was another reason why he was avoiding his parents’ calls, not wanting to open that can of worms yet. 

“Dad!” He was pulled out of his thoughts by Christopher making his way over to him. 

“Hey Superman,” Eddie said with a smile.

“My glasses are still on,” Christopher pointed out. “I’m obviously Clark Kent.” Eddie chuckled as he took Christopher’s backpack. 

“My bad,” Eddie said, glad for a distraction from his complicated thoughts. “Ready to go?” Christopher nodded and Eddie sighed to himself before heading back towards his truck. 

He could deal with what he was thinking about at a different time. Today was going to be a good day. He had promised himself that and he owed Buck that much. So that was what he was going to focus on.

* * *

“This was not the costume we agreed on.” Buck was staring at his sister, who was holding Holly. He and Maddie had been going back and forth for weeks on Holly’s costume for Halloween and Maddie eventually convinced him to let her buy it, saying she’d make sure to get the right costume. Buck had assumed that meant Maddie was going to go with his idea. 

She hadn’t.

“But look how cute she is!” Maddie said, tickling Holly’s belly, earning a giggle from the infant. “Your little pumpkin is a pumpkin!”

“She’s my little peanut,” Buck pointed out.

“Okay, well no one dresses their child up as a peanut,” Maddie said. “Also, this costume is just a loaner. I fully plan to dress my little one in this same costume next year.” Buck couldn’t help but smile at that.

“I mean, luckily she looks cute no matter what,” Buck said, taking Holly from her arms. “And thank you for getting the costume.”

“Of course,” Maddie said with a smile. “So, what are your plans for today?”

“Well we’re going to head over to Eddie’s,” Buck said. “And then the four of us are going trick or treating with Hen, Karen, and the kids.”

“Sounds like fun,” Maddie said with a smile. “You know, this time next year, we’ll be able to take our kids trick or treating together.” Buck chuckled and smiled. 

“That’s crazy,” Buck said. “But a good crazy. It’s nice, us both being happy.” Maddie smiled and placed her hand on his arm.

“I think we can both agree that we deserve it,” Maddie said. Buck nodded. “Okay, I have to get to work and you have to get going. Have fun and take lots of pictures, okay?”

“Will do.” She hugged Buck and kissed Holly’s cheek before leaving. When she left, Buck let out a chuckle, the smile still on his face. It was nice, just feeling happy. After everything he had been through, it was nice to feel happy. No looking over his shoulder, no worry about someone trying to take his daughter. He just got to be happy.

“Alright peanut dressed as a pumpkin,” Buck said. “Time to go see Eddie and Christopher.” Holly just giggled and Buck smiled before grabbing what he needed to get going.

* * *

Eddie sighed as he and Buck stood on the sidewalk. Buck had Holly in his arms while Eddie stood by a stroller that Nia was in. Hen and Karen were with the boys, who were getting a few houses on their trick or treat expedition. 

“Are you okay?” Eddie knew he was acting weird. He had been feeling off all day. Yet, he didn’t know if he was ready to talk about it. “Eds?”

“Yeah, sorry,” Eddie mumbled. “Just thinking.”

“About?” Buck asked and Eddie sighed. “Come on, this is supposed to be a fun evening and you’re acting weird.”

“I know I’m sorry.” Buck just watched him and Eddie sighed again. “I ran into Ana earlier.”

“Christopher’s old teacher?” Eddie nodded. “Did something happen?”

“She asked me out.” Buck raised an eyebrow. “I said no obviously.” Buck snorted at that and Eddie rolled his eyes. 

“So you’re just being weird because someone asked you out?” Buck asked. Eddie looked away, hoping his own expression didn’t give him away. “Eddie?”

“She just…” Eddie huffed out a breath, glancing to see where Christopher was. He spotted him a few houses with Denny, giggling about something. “She said whoever I was seeing was lucky.”

“I mean, I am.”

“Ana said ‘she’ was lucky.” Buck narrowed his eyes. As realization started to dawn across Buck’s face, Eddie turned away. 

“Eddie.”

“Dad, Buck look!” Eddie let out a silent sigh of relief as Christopher came back over with the rest of the Wilson clan. “One of the houses was giving away little boxes of cereal!”

“Cereal, huh?” Eddie asked, he glanced at Hen, who had an amused look on her face. 

“They had Cheerios!” Christopher said, pulling the small box out. “I got one for Holly.” Eddie glanced at Buck who was still watching him closely. Eddie just looked back at his son, not wanting to deal with the look on his face. He heard Buck sigh before seeing him walk over to Christopher. 

“She’s going to love that Superman,” Buck said with a smile. “But how about you hold onto that until later?” Christopher just nodded. “Great, let’s keep moving. More houses, right?” Christopher and Denny cheered before following Buck. Karen chuckled, pushing the stroller a step behind Buck. Eddie sighed before he started to follow. 

“Hey.” Hen was walking in step with him, a concerned look on her face. “Everything okay?” Eddie glanced over at Buck, who was busy entertaining Denny and Christopher. 

“Yeah, it’s fine.” Even though Eddie knew that was far from the truth.

* * *

Buck sat on the couch, trying to focus on the movie that was playing. They had turned on Hocus Pocus after coming back from trick or treating. Christopher had barely paid attention, sorting through his candy. Holly was fast asleep in the guest room, already out by the time they got back to Eddie’s house. 

Buck couldn’t help but keep circling back to their conversation earlier. The fact that Ana’s statement bugged Eddie had been bothering Buck since he mentioned it. But there wasn’t a right time to bring it up before. Now, however, Christopher was fast asleep, using both of them as a pillow. 

Buck glanced over at Eddie, who’s eyes were set on the TV. He could see the way Eddie was clenching his jaw and then tenseness in his shoulders. He knew Eddie didn’t want to talk about it, but they needed to. Buck couldn’t just let it go. 

“Why did it bother you?”

“Buck.”

“Eddie, come on.” Eddie huffed out a breath. “We need to talk about this. Why did what Ana say bug you?” Eddie crossed his arms over his chest and huffed. Buck suddenly felt like he was back a year ago, staring at his best friend who was refusing to talk to him. 

But unlike last year, this time Eddie didn’t budge. 

“I need to put Chris to bed,” Eddie mumbled, getting up. He picked up Christopher, who just made a small noise before resting his head on his dad’s shoulder. Buck frowned as Eddie left the room. It was clear that Eddie was going to do anything to avoid this conversation. That left Buck with two choices; fight until Eddie opened up or wait until Eddie was ready to talk. 

Buck sighed, making his choice. He got up and made his way to the guest room. He scooped Holly up and grabbed the bag by the door. This wasn’t something he could make Eddie talk about. That was clear to him.

“Buck?” As he exited the guest room, Eddie was walking out of Christopher’s room. He frowned when he saw Buck holding Holly. “What are you doing?”

“I think it would be best if we went home.”

“Buck.”

“Clearly something about what Ana said bothered you,” Buck said with a sigh. “And clearly, whatever about that bothered you is not something you want to talk about. So, I’m taking Holly home.” He moved past Eddie, purposefully moving when Eddie reached out for him. 

“Buck.”

“Call me when you actually want to talk.” He didn’t bother looking back at Eddie, knowing he might lose his nerve. But he wasn’t going to fight Eddie to open up to him. After everything they had been through, he thought they were past that. But clearly he was wrong.

So, he kept moving, not at all surprised that Eddie didn’t chase after him.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There was no chance it was Buck at the door, since they hadn’t spoken or texted since he left the night before. It did however pose another question.
> 
> Who was knocking at his door at 7 AM?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *cackles in drama*

Eddie woke up with a sigh. He had expected to go to sleep with company last night, specifically with Buck next to him. But then he stupidly brought up what Ana said and Buck of course wanted to talk about it. He still remembered that disappointed look on Buck’s face when he decided to leave last night. He knew he needed to talk to Buck, but this wasn’t an easy conversation. 

Maybe he could just ask Buck later at work to give him some more time before he talked about it. If Buck would talk to him, that is. He sighed, getting up and heading down the hall. He knocked on Christopher’s door before opening it. 

“Morning kid,” Eddie said as Christopher sat up. “If you get up quickly, I’ll add an extra piece of candy to your lunch box.” Christopher giggled at that as he sat up. 

“Can Buck make eggs for breakfast?” Christopher asked. Eddie frowned. 

“Buck went home after you went to bed mijo,” Eddie said. “But I can make you some eggs.” Christopher just nodded, a slight pout on his face. “Now, come on little man, you’ve gotta do your stretches.”

Eddie could tell as Christopher went about his morning routine, that he was a little confused why Buck had left. In the last month, since Buck had won the custody case and they had properly started dating, if one of them was over at the other’s place, they often stayed. Buck even had an extra crib, high chair, and play mat for Holly at Eddie’s house. So, Eddie was sure it was confusing for his son why Buck wouldn’t have stayed over. Eddie just had to hope that his very observant son didn’t ask. 

Christopher looked ready to ask when he was sitting at the table, eating breakfast, when there was a knock at the door. Christopher’s eyes lit up and Eddie bit back a frown. There was no chance it was Buck at the door, since they hadn’t spoken or texted since he left the night before. It did however pose another question.

Who was knocking at his door at 7 AM?

“Finish your breakfast mijo,” Eddie said before heading to the front door. Christopher just nodded and Eddie fought back a sigh. 

Whatever was going on in his head over Buck melted away when he opened the door. Because it was his parents standing there. 

“Mom? Dad?” Eddie asked, confusion all over his face. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, if you had answered our calls, you would know,” Helena said. “Now, are you going to let us in?” Eddie just nodded, stepping aside. He noticed the bags they had as well as the rental car on the street. He closed the door and turned to face them. 

“So, what’s going on?” Eddie asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Well since it’s Pepa’s birthday this weekend,” Helena began. “And the family is throwing a party, we decided to make the trip out for it.”

“That’s four days away,” Eddie pointed out.

“Well maybe we wanted to visit you and Christopher,” Ramon said. “Which you would know if, like your mother said, you answered our calls.”

“And so you just decided to not only spring a visit on me and but also stay here?”

“We’re your parents,” Helena said. “Of course we’re staying here.” Eddie was about to say something when he heard Christopher making his way over. 

“Grandma? Abuelo?”

“There’s my favorite grandson,” Ramon said, walking over to Christopher. The boy looked confused and just glanced at his father. 

“They’re here for Pepa’s party,” Eddie explained. Christopher just nodded as Ramon ruffled his grandson’s hair. “Go get your backpack, kid. We have to get out of here in a few.” Christopher nodded and left the room. 

“I’m going to put these in the guest room,” Ramon said before leaving as well. 

“You know, Christopher can just spend the day with us,” Helena said and Eddie frowned. “I mean, we barely get to see him now that you’re here and so busy all the time.”

“Mom, he loves school,” Eddie said. “And then Carla is picking him up after school since I have work.”

“Eddie.”

“You guys can’t just show up and assume I change mine or Christopher’s schedule on a whim,” Eddie said. “You wanted to surprise us, fine. But both of our schedules stay as they are.” Helena held up her hands, but Eddie could see the flicker of annoyance and disappointment on her face. Eddie was luckily saved by Christopher coming back into the room with his backpack. 

“Eddie, he shouldn’t be holding that.” Eddie fought back an eye roll. 

“I can do it grandma,” Christopher said.

“Besides, it was his physical therapist’s idea,” Eddie said. “And he likes the independence it gives him.” Helena was about to say something when Ramon came back into the room, an odd look on his face. 

“Edmundo, why is there a crib in the guest room?” Eddie swallowed, not exactly sure how to explain that. 

“It’s for Holly,” Christopher said. His parents gave him a look. “She’s Buck’s daughter.”

“Buck?” Ramon asked. 

“My co-worker,” Eddie reminded them, even though it felt odd saying it like that. 

“Doesn’t explain why his daughter has a crib at your house.” Eddie just sighed, feeling a headache coming on. 

“Carla helps out with both Buck’s daughter and Christopher so that’s why the extra crib is there,” Eddie said. He noticed his parents about to say something, but he cut them off. “Now, I need to get Christopher to school and go to work. Come on Christopher.”

“Bye grandma, bye abuelo.” Eddie just opened the door, more than ready to get out of there. He could feel the looks coming from his parents, the judgement in their eyes. He could hear the words they weren’t saying about his parenting and he just didn’t need it. 

And he had no idea how he was going to get through the next few days.

* * *

Buck sat on the couch, trying to distract himself with his phone. Of course it was futile. He was waiting for Eddie to come talk to him, but of course that had yet to happen. He wanted Eddie to open up to him about why Ana’s words bothered him. But this was Eddie. Eddie who didn’t like therapy. Eddie who had once told him to suck it up and not make things about him. So, he wasn’t expecting Eddie to open up about what was bothering him. If anything, Buck expected that he’d crack in a day or so and either yell at Eddie until he said something or just let it go. 

But then Eddie sat down next to him.

“Hi,” Eddie said quietly. Buck just tucked his phone away, still surprised that Eddie had approached him so quickly. 

“Hi.” Eddie sighed and Buck watched him fidget with his hands. 

“I missed you last night.” Buck frowned. “I wish you had stayed.”

“You know why I went home,” Buck said. “And if you’re not going to talk about it.” He started to get up but Eddie grabbed for his arm.

“Buck please.” Buck noticed an exhaustion behind his eyes, one that hadn’t been there the day before. Buck sighed, but settled back down on the couch. “I know you want to talk to me about what Ana said but...god, my parents showed up this morning.” Buck raised an eyebrow.

“They just showed up?”

“I’ve been dodging their calls,” Eddie said with a sigh. “They just...Pepa’s birthday is this weekend and they just decided to show up. And they were in my house for not even two minutes before they started giving me a hard time.” Buck just nodded, not saying anything. “I mean, they wanted Christopher to skip school because they showed up out of the blue and my mom was giving me a hard time about Christopher carrying his own backpack and…” His voice trailed off, but Buck noticed a look of almost shame pass over his face.

“And?” He sighed. 

“And they were asking why I had a crib in the guest room.”

“And what did you tell them?” Buck asked, feeling his jaw tighten. This was actually going worse then he could have ever expected. “Eddie.”

“Chris told them it was Holly’s,” Eddie said. “And I had to remind them that we work together.” Buck frowned and stood up. “Buck.”

“You told your parents I was your co-worker,” Buck said with a shake of his head. “I think we both know I’m more than that. And the reason you didn’t tell your parents that is the same reason that what Ana said bothered you.”

“Buck.” But he just shook his head. He knew what was holding Eddie back, but it was clear Eddie wasn’t there yet. “Buck please.”

“If you’re not willing to say it out loud,” Buck began with a sad sigh. “Then I can’t help you.” And then he walked away. It hurt, but he had to. Eddie was treating him like some dirty little secret and after everything they had been through, Buck wasn’t willing to be that.

* * *

“Right, so I’ve had enough of the sulking.” Eddie looked up from where he was sitting. Buck had been avoiding him since their conversation, only talking to him when they were on a call. And clearly, everyone else had realized something was going on. Chimney had been watching Buck and Eddie like they were a tennis match, glancing back and forth between the two. And then there was Hen, who was sitting down next to him. 

“No idea what you’re talking about,” Eddie grumbled. Hen leveled him with a look and Eddie sighed. 

“You’ve been off since yesterday,” Hen said. “I let it slide because the kids were having fun and it just seemed like it was you getting in your head. But now Buck is off and he’s avoiding you. So, enough of the sulking. What’s wrong?”

“I keep shoving my foot in my mouth,” Eddie said and Hen raised an eyebrow. “I ran into Christopher’s old teacher Ana yesterday and she made this comment, which I told Buck back. And then he wanted to talk about it and got upset when I didn’t want to talk about it.”

“And what did she say?” Hen asked. “Because it sounds like that’s important.” 

“Well she tried to ask me out,” Eddie said and Hen snorted. “And when I told her I was seeing someone, Ana said that ‘she’ was lucky.”

“Oh honey,” Hen said with a sigh. “You really don’t know what this is about? I mean, I’m surprised it took you this long to get here.”

“I don’t…” Eddie started but huffed, feeling his chest tighten. He noticed Hen’s gaze soften. 

“What did you think when you first started dating Buck?” She asked. 

“Like it was about damn time,” Eddie said and Hen chuckled a little. “We had been dancing around that thing for what felt like forever. And then it was like one disaster after another.”

“Okay but beyond that,” Hen said. “Did you consider what it meant to be dating Buck? To be dating a man?” Eddie swallowed a little, the tightening in his chest only increasing. 

“It’s going to sound stupid,” Eddie started. “But I didn’t...that thought didn’t even cross my mind. It wasn’t...to me it was just that he was Buck and I just wanted to see where everything was going to go.”

“And as sweet and modern as that is,” Hen said with a small smile. “What the rest of the world is going to see is a man, who has only dated women and was even married to a woman, now dating another man.” Eddie gulped, that tightening feeling becoming like a vice around his chest. 

“I just…” Hen reached for his hand and he knew she was trying to help but he could feel his brain screaming for him to get out of this conversation. “I don’t think I’m ready to talk about that. Especially not now.” Hen gave him a look. “My parents showed up this morning.”

“No, it sounds like now is the perfect time to deal with it,” Hen said softly. “Because it sounds like there are people who need to know about who you’re dating. And it also seems like Buck isn’t a fan of you avoiding this either. So, as much as it's going to feel awful, you need to deal with this Eddie.” Eddie sighed and went to say something, but was cut off by the alarm going off. Hen just patted his arm as they got up. 

As he sprung into action, grabbing what he needed for the call, he considered Hen’s words. As always, his friend had hit the nail right on the head. Everything that she had said was what he needed to say out loud. But he didn’t know how. And even if he managed to figure out how to phrase it, he was worried about two things. He was worried about how Buck would react to his concerns and if talking about it would hurt Buck more, especially after they finally had some peace without feeling like the world was collapsing around him. And then there was his parents. His parents who had raised him Catholic and would more than likely not support him dating Buck. They had already tried to get him to give up raising Christopher once before. Would they just use this as another reason for why he wasn’t a good enough father?

As he approached the firetruck and watched Buck climb up front to avoid sitting next to him, he knew he needed to deal with all of this and soon. 

He couldn’t run from it anymore.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Do you uh, do you want to stay for dinner?” Eddie asked. “My abuela made a bunch of food since my parents are here. She’s heading over there now with the food.”
> 
> “Wouldn’t want to intrude,” Buck said, shouldering his bag. “I think it would just be best if I just picked up Holly and went home.”

Buck was standing at his locker, finishing changing. He had texted Carla to see where she was with Holly and Christopher and was a little disappointed to hear she was at Eddie’s house. He knew she alternated days at each of their places, but Buck had just wanted to go home and not deal with whatever complicated mess was going on in Eddie’s head. 

“Hey.” As he closed his locker, Eddie was standing there, already changed and waiting patiently. Buck just nodded to him and he noticed Eddie’s shoulders slump. “So uh, the kids are at my house.”

“I know,” Buck said. 

“Do you uh, do you want to stay for dinner?” Eddie asked. “My abuela made a bunch of food since my parents are here. She’s heading over there now with the food.”

“Wouldn’t want to intrude,” Buck said, shouldering his bag. “I think it would just be best if I just picked up Holly and went home.” He started walking, hoping the slight height difference helped him get to his car faster. 

“You wouldn’t be intruding.” Eddie was easily able to keep up with him and Buck bit back a sigh. “Besides, you know how my abuela is with Holly, she might not let you leave.” Buck reached his car and looked at Eddie. There was a somewhat pleading look on his face and Buck just shook his head. 

“And how will you explain why your abuela is so close with my daughter?”

“Buck.”

“You told them I was your co-worker,” Buck hissed, a frustration that had been bubbling in him all day. “Not the person you’re dating. Not your….” His voice trailed off, knowing they hadn’t put any other labels on their relationship beyond dating. “Not even your best friend. Just your co-worker. So forgive me if I don’t feel welcome at your house right now.”

“Buck, this is complicated for me.”

“I thought we had each other’s backs, Eddie.” Buck felt the frustration melting away to sadness. “I would’ve helped you through this, if you let me. But you’d rather put walls up then deal with this.”

“Buck, you know this kind of stuff isn’t easy for me,” Eddie said. “You know I don’t...process or handle things like you do.”

“I wear my heart on my sleeve and you keep yours locked away.” Eddie took a step back a little startled by Buck’s statement. “I want to support you Eddie, like you did for me. But I can’t if you won’t just let me in.”

“Buck please.” Eddie reached for his hand but Buck just moved backwards. 

“I need to pick up my daughter.” He got into his car, feeling the tears already pricking at his eyes. He remembered when he said to Eddie that he felt the universe was against him. He felt that had to be the case with this new bout of unhappiness. Maybe the universe was telling him they weren’t meant to be together. Maybe this was a relationship that wasn’t meant to last. 

He wiped his tears away and glanced out the window. Eddie was still standing there, watching Buck with a sad look on his face. Buck wanted to get out of the car and hug him, begging him to just open up to him. But he knew that wasn’t going to happen. 

So, he started his car and fought back more tears as Eddie walked away.

* * *

Eddie tried to swallow down every broken feeling in him as he opened the door to his house. Buck was behind him, but neither had said anything. Not since their conversation in the parking lot, which had felt less like a fight and more like a break-up. He wanted to talk to Buck. He wanted to be as open as Buck was, but he wasn’t wired that way.

“Dad!” He had to shake all that away as Christopher quickly approached him, throwing his arms around his legs. Eddie scooped his son up, sensing something was wrong. He looked up to see Carla coming over, her purse in her hand and a frustrated look on her face. 

“Is everything okay?”

“I’ll let him tell you about it,” Carla said. “And, maybe if your folks are still here, I should only look after Holly for the rest of the week.” Eddie frowned, wondering what his parents did or said. “Buckaroo, I’ll see you tomorrow morning.” Eddie glanced at Buck who just nodded. Carla left the house and Eddie only felt his worry increase. 

“What’s wrong Christopher?” Eddie asked, looking at his son, who had buried his head in his shoulder.

“Abuelo and Grandma won’t let me do anything,” Christopher whined. Eddie frowned as Christopher looked up at him. “I couldn’t do my reading log because Grandma said the book I chose would be too difficult. And then Abuelo wouldn’t let me play with the big Legos, which I only wanted to play with so I could play with Holly and he wouldn’t even let me play with her.” Christopher sniffled and ducked his face back into Eddie’s shoulder, trying to hide how upset he was. Eddie just kissed his son’s head. His parents had a bad habit of coddling Christopher and acting like he couldn’t handle certain things because of his CP. But not letting him play with Holly? That was a cruelty he didn’t know his parents were capable of. 

“I’m sorry buddy,” Eddie said, kissing the top of his head again. “How about I go to talk to them, okay? And you can go with Buck to check on Holly?” He glanced at Buck, who seemed to have a neutral look on his face. But when Christopher looked up at Buck, his expression softened.

“Yeah, come on Superman,” Buck said as Eddie set Christopher down. “I could use some help from my favorite Diaz.” Christopher just nodded and followed Buck. Eddie took a moment to collect himself and take a breath before he went into the kitchen. He spotted his dad leaning against the counter, while his abuela cooked, and his mom sitting at the table. 

“Where’s Christopher?” Ramon asked and Eddie frowned. 

“Not something you need to worry about,” Eddie said. “Nor is deciding what he can and can’t do when he’s home.”

“You don’t understand what he needs, Edmundo,” Ramon said and Eddie’s frown only deepened. 

“Your father’s right.” Eddie glanced at his mother, who was looking at him like he was some sort of child. “Cups without straws? Legos? Books above his reading level?”

“He wants the challenge,” Eddie said. “And his teachers encourage it as well.”

“Just because you want to blow your salary on some fancy private school that can’t handle Christopher’s needs,” His father began. “Doesn’t mean we have to watch you bring him down.”

“Ramon!” Abuela hissed at Eddie’s father. 

“Mama, we know what we’re talking about,” Ramon said. “We’ve tried to get him to see and he remains stubborn.”

“No, he is the perfect father for his son,” Isabel said. “And you both need to see that.”

“Isabel, with all due respect, you don’t understand our son the way we do.” 

“Sometimes I don’t think you understand him at all,” Isabel countered. “And I don’t think you ever tried.”

“Abuela,” Eddie said. “I can handle this. But thank you.”

“What you can’t handle is caring for your son,” Ramon said. “You’re never there for him with your work schedule. And then you have some stranger caring for him, who can barely give him her full focus because she’s watching someone else’s child. A child that Christopher doesn’t need to be around.”

“Okay first of all,” Eddie started, feeling anger boiling up inside of him. “Carla is not a stranger. She is a friend and someone who fully understands what Christopher needs without treating him like he’s incapable of certain things. And second, it was my idea for Carla to take care of both Holly and Christopher while Buck and I were at work.” 

“And that’s another thing.” His father cut him off before he could finish. “Christopher talks nonstop about this Buck. Like he’s someone important to him.”

“Because he is.” His father gave him a look that Eddie was all too familiar with. It was a look full of judgement and disappointment and it made Eddie want to shrink in on himself. But he couldn’t. He needed to stand up for what was right for him and his son.

“Buck is family,” Isabel said. “And so is Holly.”

“That gringo has no place in my family.” Eddie seethed at the comment, balling up his fists. He noticed his abuela glance at him, concern on her face. 

“This isn’t your family, this is my family,” Eddie said. “People who understand my son and I and who would support us through anything. And they certainly never judge us.”

“Eddie, letting Christopher spend so much time around that man is just going to confuse him,” Helena said. “He’s not Christopher’s family, he’s basically a stranger. Christopher deserves stability and normalcy. Something you could give him if you just came back to live with us in El Paso. You could work at a fire station there and meet someone nice and settle down. And Christopher would have his family there to take care of him. Not some preoccupied stranger.”

“He needs to come live with us.” Eddie felt the anger tipping over into rage. “And if you won’t agree to that, then maybe we should just take Christopher without you.” 

And then it boiled over. Everything Eddie had been holding in all day. He felt like a kettle, full of boiling water that needed to be released. 

But it wasn’t him that exploded. 

“No!” All sets of eyes turned towards the kitchen entryway. Christopher was standing there, tears streaming down his face. Eddie watched his father move towards Christopher. “No!” Eddie quickly moved past his father and picked his son up, feeling his heart break when Christopher curled into him. “Dad, I don’t want to. They can’t make me!”

“It’s okay buddy,” Eddie said. The rage was still there, but it had been capped by a need to protect his son, to make sure he was okay. 

“I don’t want to live with Abuelo and Grandma!” Christopher sobbed into his shoulder. “I want to be here with you and Buck and Holly!” Eddie just held his son tightly, trying to comfort him. That was all he wanted as well. He remembered, standing in Buck’s kitchen and telling him that the four of them was what he wanted all the time.

This was his family. And damn it, he was going to fight to keep it together.

“All you’re doing is confusing him,” Ramon said. “And having that man around with his daughter isn’t helping.”

“His name is Buck!” Eddie shouted, the rage finally ready to boil over. 

“And he is clearly a terrible influence on you and your son.” Eddie felt his nostrils flare. He glanced at Christopher who was still crying. He kissed his son’s head before gently setting him down. 

Then he stalked over to his father. 

“You will get your stuff and get the hell out of my house,” Eddie said, a rage flaring in him that he hadn’t felt in a long time. “Because I am sick of all of this. I have spent years listening to you insult my abilities as a father and act like I don’t know how to raise my son. And I sucked it up. But I will not have you insulting my boyfriend!” Ramon sucked in a breath and his eyes went wide. Eddie heard the words as they tumbled out of his mouth, but he didn’t care. He needed to get this out. “So get your belongings and get out of my house. And if you even utter another word about how I live my life or raise my son, I promise you I will never speak to either of you again. Now, get out.” 

He stepped away, his chest heaving with rage. His father looked both angry and startled. His mother was silent, as if waiting for someone to speak. But when his father went to open his mouth, his abuela cut him off. 

“You heard him,” Isabel said. “Vamos Ramon. You’re not welcome here.” His father stalked out of the kitchen, his mother following after him quickly. Eddie glanced over at his abuela ready to say something, when he felt Christopher grab for his arm, tears still in his eyes. Instead of picking him up, he sat down on the floor, pulling his son into his lap. Christopher burrowed as close to him as possible and Eddie let his face fall into his son’s curls, knowing he needed the comfort as much as Christopher did.

“I’ll make sure they leave, nieto.” Eddie didn’t look up, too afraid of the tears in his eyes. But he heard the soft footsteps of his abuela leaving the kitchen. But he kept his head down, letting the rage melt away and holding Christopher closely, hoping that was enough to protect both of them.

* * *

Eddie wasn’t sure how long he sat on the floor, his face tucked into his son’s curls and Christopher hugging him tightly. He just wanted his parents gone. He wanted back the happiness he had finally achieved before everything had blown sky high. 

“Eddito.” He looked up hearing his abuela’s gentle voice. She offered him a sympathetic smile. “They’re gone.” Eddie nodded and stood up slowly, helping Christopher up as well.

“Mijo, why don’t you go put something on in the living room?” Christopher just shook his head and Eddie knelt down so he was at his son’s height. “It’ll just be for two minutes. I just need to talk to abuela.” Christopher nodded before hugging his dad. Eddie stood up with a sniff as Christopher headed out of the room. Once he was gone, he let out a long sigh. 

“I’m sorry,” Eddie said, letting his head hang a little. Now that his parents were gone and he felt like he and Christopher were safe, he couldn’t help but feel exhausted, like his emotions had just run a marathon.

“Eddito.” He tilted his head up as he felt his abuela pat his cheek. “What are you sorry for?”

“For getting so angry,” Eddie said. “For not being honest. For you finding out this way.” Isabel smiled a little.

“I have eyes,” She said. “I didn’t need you to tell me what I already knew.”

“Abuela.”

“No, you listen to me.” She stepped closer to him, her hands cupping both of his cheeks. “You deserve this, Edmundo. And you deserve someone who is going to give you all the love and happiness you deserve. And I don’t care who that person is so long as they make you happy.” She kissed his forehead and he felt his eyes tear up. “A love like that is one you hold on tightly to and never let go.” 

“I wish he was here right now,” Eddie said quietly. It was clear to him that Buck had slipped out before Eddie’s confrontation with his parents. But all Eddie wanted was to melt into one of Buck’s comforting embraces.

“Maybe you should go into the living room then,” She said with a small smile. She kissed his forehead again. “Be happy Eddito. No matter what anyone else says, be happy.” She then turned and left the kitchen, heading for the front door. Eddie watched her go, happy tears clouding his vision. Maybe his parents didn’t believe in him and weren’t happy with who he was dating, but his abuela was on his side. She wanted him to be happy. And that was worth more than he could ever say. 

A thought hit him as he went over what she had said. He glanced towards the living room before exiting the kitchen. He choked back a sob at the sight before him.

Buck was there. After everything he had put him through, Buck hadn’t left. Instead, he was sitting on the couch, hugging Christopher. Buck looked up at him and he could see a teary expression on his face. Eddie quickly crossed to them, sitting down on the coffee table in front of the couch. He reached his hand out to Buck’s face, wiping a few tears away. He smiled through his own tears when Buck leaned into the touch.

And as Buck pulled him into his hug with Christopher, Eddie knew the rage and sadness was gone, replaced only by the feelings of safety and comfort.

* * *

Eddie sat on his bed, feeling the exhaustion running through him. He couldn’t remember the last time he cried so much, the last time he was so vulnerable. But he felt like he could sleep for two days and still be tired. 

“Hey.” He looked up as Buck walked into the room. “Christopher’s asleep. Holly too.” Eddie just nodded as Buck sat down next to him. He reached for Buck’s hand and Buck let his fingers interlace with Eddie’s.

“I’m sorry Buck,” Eddie said. “I’m sorry I let other people’s beliefs cloud my belief in us. I’m sorry that my upbringing made it hard for me to accept what it really means to be dating you. And I’m sorry that I wasn’t open with you about any of it.”

“You called me your boyfriend,” Buck said quietly.

“Because I needed them to know what you mean to me,” Eddie said. “Buck, I told you that I want this, us. And I mean it. I want to be with you, all the time. Mornings and nights, good days and bad days. You’re not just my boyfriend, Buck. You’re my everything.” He looked at Buck, searching those perfect blue eyes, needing him to know how much he meant to him. And he needed to know if Buck felt the same way. 

His answer was Buck colliding his lips against Eddie’s. Eddie gripped onto Buck’s biceps nearly crying out in relief. It was clear, from the fervor with which Buck kissed him, that the feeling was mutual.

“I thought I had lost you,” Buck whispered when they broke apart, letting his forehead rest against Eddie’s. “I thought I couldn’t give you what you needed.”

“You are exactly what I need,” Eddie said, his hand cupping the nape of Buck’s neck. “You and Chris and Holly. That’s what I need. This beautiful, perfect family we built. What I need is the four of us, together all the time.

“I want that too.” Eddie nodded as Buck’s lips hovered over his. When his lips brushed against Eddie’s, a shiver ran down his spine. 

“Then stay,” Eddie said. “Not just for tonight. For good.” Buck locked eyes with him and Eddie felt his heart pound against his chest as Buck looked at him like he was the only person in existence. Like there was no one else in the world besides them. Like no one could take their happiness away. Not anymore. 

And as Buck kissed him, Eddie knew that no matter what was thrown their way, as long as they had each other, nothing could take their happiness away. 

“Is that a yes?”

“Yes.” And as Eddie kissed Buck again, he finally felt like things were going to be okay.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m so used to the world crashing down on us,” Buck said, glancing over to where Holly was playing. “That even when things are going well I can’t help but….”
> 
> “Wait for the other shoe to drop?”

Buck sighed as he sat down on the couch next to Maddie, passing her a glass of water. She had been helping him wrap presents, while Eddie and Christopher were at his Abuela’s house. Maddie had done the wrapping, since she said Buck’s wrapping looked like a child did it, which meant Buck was on tape and hiding duty (because Christopher was nine and very much still believed in Santa). 

“So Christmas Eve in your new home,” Maddie said before taking a drink of water. Buck smiled a little. He had been living with Eddie since the whole debacle post-Halloween with Eddie’s parents. It had been an easy shift, since they already spent so much time together. It was odd sometimes calling Eddie’s house his, but that was what it was.

“Luckily, Albert was willing to sublet my old place,” Buck said with a slight smile.

“Yeah thank you for that,” Maddie said. “I think both Chimney and I are done with having our brothers live with us.”

“Well hopefully you never have to worry about that again,” Buck said. Maddie narrowed her eyes before putting the glass down. 

“Buck?” Buck sighed. “What’s going on?”

“I’m so used to the world crashing down on us,” Buck said, glancing over to where Holly was playing. “That even when things are going well I can’t help but….”

“Wait for the other shoe to drop?” Buck nodded. Maddie reached for his hand and squeezed it. “Buck, you’ve both been through so much. But it’s okay to just be happy. It’s okay to just focus on your relationship and your daughter and work and not worry about what’s around the corner.”

“I’m trying.” Maddie nodded and squeezed his hand. 

“I know you are,” Maddie said. “And it takes time. But this Christmas Eve with this family you built, you deserve it Buck.”

“Thanks Mads.” She pulled him into a hug and he hugged her back as tightly as he could for how they were sitting and her very protruding belly. “I love you, Mads.”

“You too, little brother.” She pulled away and Buck smiled. “But I should get going.” She started to get up and Buck quickly stood, helping her up. “I’ll see you tomorrow at Bobby and Athena’s, right?”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“Good,” Maddie said with a smile. Buck went over to Holly and picked her up, before following Maddie out of the room. They started moving towards the front door as Maddie spoke up. “And I definitely snuck a few presents for Holly into that stack you were hiding.”

“I know,” Buck said with a smirk. “You weren’t sneaky.”

“Hard to be sneaky when you’ve got all this in the way.” She pointed to her belly and Buck chuckled. 

“I mean you’re about ready to pop.”

“Pretty much,” Maddie said. “Chimney thinks it would be cute if we had a Christmas baby, but I’m thinking more New Year’s.”

“Well either way,” Buck said, adjusting Holly in his arms. “I’m looking forward to being an uncle.”

“I know you are,” Maddie said with a smile. “And I’m looking forward to all the playdates our kids are going to have.” Buck smiled at that.

“You know this happiness thing,” Buck began. “It’s a good look on both of us.”

“Yeah it is.” Maddie hugged Buck again and Buck hugged her with his free arm, while Holly played with his shirt.. He knew why Maddie was so insistent that he was allowed to be happy. Because she had finally found that happiness too. After everything both of them had been through, they were both happy, and that was something to celebrate.

The door opened as the two pulled back from their hug. 

“Oh good, we didn’t miss you.” Buck smiled as Eddie walked in, Christopher a step behind him. 

“Hi Eddie, hi Christopher,” Maddie said with a smile. 

“Hi Maddie!” Christopher said with a big grin on his face. “Buck! We made cookies with Abuela!”

“Sounds like fun Superman,” Buck said as Christopher made his way over to him. He ruffled the boy’s hair and Christopher just beamed at him. 

“My abuela wanted to make sure you got some as well,” Eddie said, offering a Tupperware container to Maddie.

“Cookies have been my absolute vice lately,” Maddie said with a smile. “I’ve been driving Howie crazy making him go to the store to get more.” Eddie chuckled and nodded. 

“Glad I can help both of you out then,” Eddie said with a smile. 

“I’ll see all three of you tomorrow,” Maddie said, moving towards the door. “And Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas!” Christopher said with a smile. Eddie just chuckled as he closed the door after Maddie. 

“Alright Diaz boys,” Buck said, glancing between Christopher and Eddie. “I think it’s officially time to start our Christmas festivities.”

“Sounds good to me,” Eddie said with a smile. “Mijo?”

“Can we build the gingerbread houses first?” Christopher asked. Buck looked at Eddie, who nodded. “Awesome!” Christopher quickly headed towards the kitchen and Buck smiled, watching him go. He glanced back at Eddie, who was watching him. 

“How was your afternoon with your sister?” Eddie asked. 

“Great,” Buck said, before closing the space between them. He pressed what was meant to be a chaste kiss to Eddie’s lips but Eddie snaked his arms around Buck’s waist, making the kiss much longer than planned. Buck pulled away and just stared at Eddie, a love-struck look on his face. “You know, she and I were talking about how nice it is that we’re both so happy.”

“Yeah it’s pretty great,” Eddie said before kissing Buck again. Even with his daughter in his arms, Buck could feel himself getting lost in the kiss. He loved it when Eddie kissed him like they had all the time in the world. It made his chest burn with love and adoration. 

“Dad! Buck!” Buck chuckled as he stepped away, adjusting Holly in his arms. 

“I guess we should get moving,” Buck said. “Big Christmas festivities and all.”

“He has to go to sleep eventually,” Eddie pointed out and Buck snorted. “Come on.” He took Buck’s free hand and tugged him towards the kitchen. And Buck just followed, a happy grin on his face.

* * *

Buck smiled as he helped Christopher with his gingerbread house. Christopher had specifically asked him to and who was Buck to say no to such a request? He glanced away from their work to Eddie, who was holding Holly. His grin only grew watching Eddie with his daughter. Eddie was bouncing Holly in his lap, the infant just babbling happily at him. Eddie caught Buck’s eyes and smiled at him. 

Buck remembered what Eddie had said when they were first crossing that line into something new, how he wanted this little family unit they had built all the time. And now they had that. It was the four of them all the time. Maybe Maddie was right. Maybe it was okay for him to just be happy. 

“Buck, I need more gum drops.” Buck chuckled and passed Christopher the bowl of red gum drops.

“So, what are you making again?” Eddie asked, eyeing the structure. “Because this looks like more than just your average gingerbread house.”

“It’s the firehouse!” Christopher said with a smile. “Denny and Harry are making it too. I need to bring it tomorrow so we can all compare.” 

“That sounds like a great idea, kid,” Eddie said with a smile. 

“But yours is going to crush the others,” Buck said. “And if there was a prize, you’d win.”

“Not everything is a competition, Buck,” Eddie said with a smirk. Buck chuckled and shrugged. Buck was about to say something when Christopher spoke up. 

“Done!” 

“Alright Superman,” Buck said, ruffling Christopher’s hair, earning a grin from the boy. “Why don’t I put it on the counter where it’ll be safe?” Christopher nodded and Buck got up, lifting the gingerbread house with him. 

“Can we watch a movie now?” Christopher asked. Buck set the gingerbread house on the counter and turned back to them. “I mean, Holly’s never seen a Charlie Brown Christmas.” Buck smiled. That seemed to be Christopher’s favorite reason for doing anything these days, for Holly. And neither he or Eddie wanted to point out that Holly was barely one and wouldn’t remember any of it. Buck was about to say something when he saw Holly reaching for him. Eddie noticed too and smiled. 

“Does somebody want her dad?” Eddie asked, bouncing her a little. 

“Dada!” Everyone froze and looked at Holly. The infant just continued to reach for Buck. “Dada!”

“Did she just….” Buck stared at his daughter, tears springing to his eyes. Holly was constantly babbling, but none of it was coherent. But that...that definitely sounded like words. Her first words. 

Buck crossed over to Eddie and he passed the infant to Buck. 

“Dada!” Holly said, her hand reaching for his birthmark. Buck let out a laugh that also sounded like a sob, before he began pressing kisses to his daughter’s head.

“Did Holly just say her first word?” Christopher asked. 

“She sure did.” Buck couldn’t help but laugh happily, the overwhelming sense of happiness taking over. Holly giggled as Buck kept pressing kisses to her hair.

“Dada!” Holly repeated. 

“Yeah that’s right peanut,” Buck said with a smile. “I’m your dada.” The infant giggled and Buck was sure he was grinning so hard his face was going to hurt later. But he didn’t care. He was just so damn happy. He glanced away from Holly and towards Eddie and Christopher. The happiness only seemed to expand looking at them. Christopher just grinned at him but the way Eddie was looking at him took his breath away.

A sudden realization hit him like a ton of bricks. If he was going to be happy, truly happy, there was one more thing he had to do. 

But that could wait until a little later.

“Alright,” Buck said, using his free hand to wipe his eyes. “Let’s watch that movie.” Christopher nodded, quickly heading towards the living room. As Buck walked over to Eddie, the brunette just smiled. 

“Other than the obvious, are you alright?” Eddie asked, standing up. 

“Never better,” Buck said with a loving smile. He let his free hand wrap around Eddie’s earning a smile from the other man. They’d talk later, but for now, Buck just tugged Eddie towards the living room, the grin never leaving his face.

* * *

Eddie watched Buck as he moved around the tree. Both Chris and Holly were asleep. Holly had gone to sleep at the normal time, but Christopher had insisted on staying up as late as possible. He had fallen asleep a little after eleven. After putting him to bed, Eddie and Buck had gone about setting up the presents under the tree. 

Eddie couldn’t help but chuckle as he watched Buck. Buck had been in a fantastic mood all day. He had been smiling ever wider than possible. He knew a lot of it had to do with Holly’s first words, but there it seemed to be more than just that. He was just oozing joy.

“All set,” Buck said circling back to Eddie. “Did we go overboard?”

“Definitely,” Eddie said. “But it’s Holly’s first Christmas and we don’t want Chris to feel bad about how many she got.” Buck chuckled at that. “Our kids have us wrapped their fingers, don’t they?”

“They sure do,” Buck said with a smile. “You know, I like when we refer to them as our kids.”

“Well they are.”

“I know,” Buck said. “But it just reminds me of all of this.” Buck indicated to the house and Eddie chuckled. “Our family, the four of us.” He wrapped his arms around Eddie’s waist and pulled him closer. “It’s everything I imagined it would be.”

“Oh, you imagined this?” Eddie asked with an amused smirk.

“Every day since you mentioned it in my old kitchen.” Eddie smiled and leaned closer to Buck, wanting nothing more than to kiss him. The house was quiet, the kids were asleep, so nothing was stopping them. But Buck let his forehead rest against Eddie’s. 

“You know, I had this realization earlier,” Buck said, his hands moving from Eddie’s waist to interlace with Eddie’s hands. “Earlier in the kitchen, after Holly said her first word and you and Christopher were right there watching...I told Maddie I was so scared the other shoe was going to drop, that something was going to take that away, but I’m not scared of that anymore. I don’t need to be.”

“And why’s that?” Eddie let his eyes lock with Buck’s, almost searching for what he was going to say. But instead, Buck’s blue eyes were just filled with more adoration then Eddie had ever seen. 

“Because being happy with you has helped me realize something” Eddie felt his heart beat a little faster as Buck looked at him with a smile. “I love you Eddie. I love you and I’m happy and I’m not waiting for something to take that away. I’m just going to be happy and in love and…” He was cut off by Eddie colliding his lips with Buck’s. His hands let go of Buck’s cradled his face, deepening the kiss. Buck’s arms wrapped around his waist. 

“I love you too,” Eddie breathed out and Buck smiled against his lips. Because it was true. He loved Buck. He loved this life they were building together. He was in love, something that had always felt so foreign to him, and yet now it felt so good. “I love you and our kids and this life we have together.”

“It’s pretty great, huh?”

“The best.” And as they stood in the dim living room, lit only by the light of the Christmas tree, lips locked in a slow, but passionate kiss, Eddie understood why Buck had been so happy earlier. 

Because he was that happy too.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It seems everybody adores that little girl,” Hen said. Eddie nodded glancing over to where May and Buck were standing. Athena, Karen, and Maddie had all gravitated over to May, cooing at Holly, who seemed to be loving the attention. “No one more than you though.”
> 
> “She’s an angel,” Eddie said, glancing back at Hen with a smile. “And she’s Buck’s daughter. So, it’s not hard.”

Buck let his eyes slowly open, a happy sigh escaping past his lips. He glanced over at Eddie, who was curled into him. He always had assumed that Christopher’s cuddly nature was just from him being a kid. But Buck had learned very quickly once he had started dating Eddie that it was a Diaz trait. And Buck personally loved waking up to his boyfriend tangled around him. It made him feel safe and happy.

His chest burned with love remembering the previous evening. Of course he knew he loved Eddie, but hearing it back, well he didn’t know he could feel this happy and this loved. But he did and it was truly the best feeling in the world. He smiled and leaned in closer, pressing kisses to Eddie’s forehead, cheek, nose, chin, and basically anywhere he could reach. As he moved closer to Eddie’s lips, the brunette tilted his chin up, closing the distance.

“Good morning,” Buck mumbled against his lips, earning a chuckle from Eddie. 

“What a way to wake up,” Eddie responded, a smile gracing his lips. Buck chuckled and kissed him again, winding his arms around Eddie’s waist to pull him closer. Eddie nestled his face against Buck’s chest, a content sigh escaping his lips. 

“How long do you think we have?” Buck asked, resting his chin on Eddie’s head. 

“What time is it?” Eddie asked, nuzzling closer to Buck. Buck looked over Eddie’s head towards the alarm clock. 

“Six AM.” Eddie hummed. “Is Chris an early riser on Christmas?” Eddie hummed again and Buck sighed before kissing his boyfriend’s forehead. “Then I guess we should get up.”

“Five more minutes,” Eddie grumbled. “He can wake us up.”

“You sure you want that?” Buck asked. 

“It’s not like we’re doing anything explicit,” Eddie said, glancing up at his boyfriend. “We’re just cuddling.” Buck just chuckled and leaned down to kiss Eddie. One of Eddie’s hands shifted up to grasp at the nape of Buck’s neck.

“I love you.” Eddie chuckled and kissed Buck again. “And I hope you know that now that I’ve said that, I’m just going to keep saying it over and over again.”

“Good,” Eddie said. Buck watched as Eddie’s hands moved back down to Buck’s back, noting that he was about to curl back into Buck, when a noise came over the baby monitor. Buck sat up and reached for the monitor, turning the volume up. Eddie pressed his face into the pillow and Buck just reached out with his free hand, shaking his shoulder. 

“I think Holly might be up,” Buck said, listening on the monitor again. He heard Holly make another noise and started to get up. But then he heard something else and paused. 

_“Merry Christmas Holly_!” He glanced at Eddie who was now looking at the monitor. Buck smiled, hearing Christopher’s voice over the monitor. “ _Are you excited for your first Christmas_?”

“Now this I have to see,” Eddie said, getting up. Buck nodded with a smile. They each pulled a shirt on before leaving the room and heading down the hallway. Buck’s smile turned to a grin when he pushed open the door of the guest room. Christopher was standing in front of Holly’s crib, using the bars to hold himself up. Holly was sitting up, staring at Christopher with a big smile, and had her tiny hand on his. 

“Well good morning you two,” Buck said, getting their attention.

“Dada!” Buck smiled, putting the monitor down. He walked over to the crib and ruffled Christopher’s hair before picking up Holly. 

“I guess you decided to wake Holly up before us, mijo?” Eddie asked, walking over to his son. 

“Well I was going to knock on your door,” Christopher said. “But then I heard Holly and wanted to make sure she was okay.” Buck just glanced at Eddie who was smiling at his son. 

“Well thank you Chris,” Buck said, bouncing Holly in his arms. “But now that we’re awake, I feel like there’s something we need to do.”

“Open presents!” Christopher cheered, before exiting the room. 

“Shall we?” Eddie asked, offering Buck his hand. And Buck just smiled before letting his fingers interlace with Eddie’s. Eddie tugged him out of the room and Buck just smiled, looking forward to Christmas morning with his favorite people.

* * *

Eddie carefully balanced the gingerbread house as he rang the doorbell. Christopher was next to him, an excited look on his face. Buck was a step behind him, Holly in his arms. Eddie turned back towards the door, just as it flung open. 

“Christopher!” Harry said, a broad smile on his face. His smile switched to awe when he saw the gingerbread house. “Cool! Come see mine!” Christopher followed Harry in, the older boy excitedly talking about his gingerbread house. Eddie walked in after them, taking in the decoration of the house. 

“Oh, you put her in the outfit!” When they made it down the steps into the living room, May quickly approached them, a smile on her face. Eddie glanced at Buck, who chuckled as May took Holly out of his arms. 

“Well thanks to you she’s the best dressed eleven month old on the block,” Buck said with a smile. 

“She sure is,” May said. “Let’s go look at the gingerbread firehouses, Holly.” 

“I’ll come with you,” Buck said, taking the gingerbread firehouse from Eddie. They walked off, May talking to Holly and the infant babbling happily.

“I see May already grabbed Holly.” Hen approached Eddie and he smirked. 

“She sure did,” Eddie said. “But seeing as she got her that cute outfit, Buck was more than happy to turn her over.”

“It seems everybody adores that little girl,” Hen said. Eddie nodded glancing over to where May and Buck were standing. Athena, Karen, and Maddie had all gravitated over to May, cooing at Holly, who seemed to be loving the attention. “No one more than you though.”

“She’s an angel,” Eddie said, glancing back at Hen with a smile. “And she’s Buck’s daughter. So, it’s not hard.” Eddie glanced back over at Buck who was smiling at something Maddie was saying. He remembered the first time he saw Buck holding Holly and how his heart had literally burst out of his chest. He hadn’t said anything then, still afraid to cross the line between friendship and something more. But now, now he could tell Buck exactly how he felt and he knew that feeling would always be reciprocated. 

“Boy, you got it bad.” He glanced back at Hen, who had an amused look on her face. 

“Yeah, yeah I do.”

“Well good,” Hen said with a smile. “I’m happy for both of you.”

“Thanks Hen.” She nodded before walking away. Eddie couldn’t help but smile to himself before walking over to Buck. When he reached him, Buck just glanced over at him with a loving smile. Eddie let his fingers interlace with Buck’s and smiled as everyone continued cooing over Holly.

* * *

“What do you mean your water broke?” Everyone was sitting around the table digging into their meal. Buck was looking at his sister like she was crazy. Maddie just chuckled and glanced at Chimney. 

“Buck it takes hours before labor actually starts,” Maddie pointed out. “Besides, my contractions are still far apart. And if that changes, we’ll just go to the hospital.”

“You're too calm about this,” Buck said.

“Paramedic and former nurse,” Chimney pointed out with a smirk. “Not to mention we’re surrounded by first responders. If anything changes or happens, we’ll be alright.”

“Athena could even throw on the siren to get you guys there faster,” Michael said and Athena scoffed at that. 

“Besides since nothing has really happened yet,” Maddie began. “We can talk about how you didn’t immediately call me when Holly said her first word!”

“Well my mind was on other things,” Buck said with a smile. He glanced over to where the kids were. They had finished eating and were all gathered around the television. Denny, Harry and Christopher were talking turns playing video games. Nia was sitting in a playpen nearby. And May was holding Holly, pointing at what the boys were doing. 

“Also, I’m pretty sure he started crying when she did.” Buck turned back, an offended look on his face at Eddie’s comment. “What? You did.”

“I can’t believe you’d sell me out like that.” Eddie chuckled with a shrug.

“It’s fine Buckaroo,” Hen said with a smirk. “Karen had the same reaction when Denny said ‘mama’ the first time. Though, we weren’t sure who he was talking about.” Everyone chuckled at that.

“Both Harry and May’s first words were ‘mama’,” Michael said. 

“And Michael wasn’t jealous at all,” Athena pointed out and Michael smirked.

“Well you’ve all heard it now,” Buck said. “And it’s my favorite sound in the world.” 

“Who knew you were such a softie, Buckaroo?” Chimney said with a smirk. 

“Everyone,” Hen said and everyone at the table laughed. Buck couldn’t help but look around the table at everyone who was there. These people, who had been by his side during the most tumultuous time in his life, who had been there even when he was moody or a mess. These people, who were his family, and for who he was so grateful for. 

“Oh.” Everyone looked at Maddie who had a pinched look on her face. She moved her hand to her belly, frowning as she did. She huffed out a breath as everyone watched her. 

“Contraction?” Chimney asked and Maddie just nodded.

“That was ten minutes since the last one,” Hen said. “You’re going into labor.”

“Alright, let’s go,” Chimney said, getting up. He tossed his keys to Albert, who caught them. “Albert you’re driving, just in case Maddie needs my help.”

“Buck, we’ll see you at the hospital?” Maddie asked as Chimney helped her up. Buck nodded. “Great! Now let’s go before these pick up.” Chimney had one hand on her back as they quickly headed outside, Albert following after them.

“Well this has been an exciting evening,” Athena said with a smirk. “Anyone want food to go?” As everyone began helping Athena and Bobby get up, Buck went over to May. 

“Alright peanut,” Buck said, scooping Holly out of May’s arms. “Time to go. Thanks for keeping an eye on her May.”

“Of course,” May said with a smile. “Thanks for letting me pretend I have a little sister every so often.” Buck chuckled and nodded as he adjusted Holly in his arms. May got up and went to help her parents in the kitchen, dragging Harry along with her. 

“Hey Buck?” Christopher asked, coming up to him. “Can I come with you to the hospital? I wanna meet Maddie and Chimney’s baby.” Buck glanced at Eddie, who had walked over. “Please?” Eddie smiled and gave Buck a small nod. 

“Sounds like a great idea, Superman.” Christopher smiled and Buck adjusted Holly enough to ruffle Christopher’s hair. “And maybe you can help me pick out something for the baby and Maddie in the hospital gift shop?” Christopher nodded and Buck smiled. “Alright, let’s get going.”

“I’ll drive,” Eddie said. Buck just smiled before following his boyfriend out of the house, already eager to meet his niece or nephew.

* * *

Buck sat in the waiting room, his leg bouncing as he waited. The waiting room was filled with everyone, waiting on news about Maddie and Chimney’s baby. When they had arrived at the hospital, Albert had been waiting, saying they had taken the two in and that Chimney would come get them once Maddie had delivered the baby. Buck was still sitting waiting, when everyone else had arrived.

He smiled a little, seeing all of the people who wanted to be there for Maddie and Chimney. But a sad thought crossed his mind and he sighed. 

“You okay?” Eddie asked, reaching for Buck’s hand. Christopher was asleep next to him, his head resting on the lower part of Eddie’s leg. Eddie was holding Holly on his lap, so that when Chimney came out, Buck could immediately go see his sister.

“I was just thinking about Ali,” Buck said quietly. “Did she have someone with her when she gave birth? Or was she all alone? How long did it take? Was Holly an easy birth or…”

“Hey, hey,” Eddie said, squeezing his hand. “You don’t want to do that. I know you wish you were there, but you’re here for Holly now. And that’s what matters.” Buck just nodded. He glanced at Holly, who was playing with Eddie’s shirt and babbling happily. He smiled and leaned over, kissing his daughter’s forehead. He glanced up at Eddie, who just smiled at him. He was about to lean in and kiss his boyfriend when Hen’s voice stopped him. 

“Chim, hey!” Buck glanced towards the doors. Chimney had a grin on his face and Buck stood up quickly. 

“So?” Buck asked as he and Albert approached Chimney. “Niece or nephew?”

“Why don’t you see for yourself,” Chimney said with a smirk before leading the way through the doors. Buck glanced at Eddie, who just sent a smile his way. Buck smiled back before following after Chimney and Albert. When they reached the room, Buck smiled seeing Maddie. 

“Alright I’ve got ten bucks on niece, so what’ve we got Mads?” Buck asked, approaching his sister.

“You did not bet on the sex of my child,” Maddie said, an amused look on her face. 

“Blame Hen for why I bet on things,” Buck said with a smirk. “So?” He glanced at the baby in his sister’s arms and smiled. 

“Evan, Albert, I’d like you to meet your niece Joy Ara Han.” Buck grinned and looked at his sister. Maddie looked so happy, more happy than he could ever remember. He recalled what he had said to her the other day, about happiness being a good look on both of them. The statement still held true as he watched his sister hold her daughter.

“Ara, as in beautiful in Korean?” Albert asked, moving towards Chimney, who was standing on the other side of the hospital bed. Chimney nodded.

“It was also my mom’s name.” Albert nodded with a smile as Buck reached out for his sister’s arm. 

“She’s beautiful Mads,” Buck said. “And she looks just like her mama, thankfully.” Maddie giggled and Chimney rolled his eyes. 

“Congratulations Albert, you’re Joy’s favorite uncle.” Buck rolled his eyes playfully as he looked back to his niece.

“Don’t listen to your dad kiddo,” Buck said with a smirk. His niece’s eyes were closed and she was comfortably nestled in the blanket she had been swaddled in, but Buck already thought she was precious. “Your Uncle Evan is going to be your favorite.”

“Uncle Evan, huh?” Maddie asked with a smirk. “No Uncle Buck?”

“Eddie showed me that movie so I understand the reference now,” Buck said with a smirk. “So no, she can call me Uncle Evan.”

“Uncle Evan it is.” And Buck smiled as the other three went back to doting on the baby in her arms. He wasn’t afraid to just be unabashedly happy. He deserved it. Maddie glanced at him and when she saw the smile on his face, she just reached her hand out for his. He squeezed her hand and she just nodded, a silent agreement between the two to enjoy their happiness and everything that came with it.

They both deserved it after all.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “He’s really lucky to have you, Eddie.” Eddie was about to say something when there was a cheer from the LEGO crew. Buck had come out of the kitchen and Christopher was leading the excitement in seeing him. Eddie just smiled and glanced back at Maddie. 
> 
> “Nah, I’m the lucky one.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we have reached the final chapter! Thank you everyone for the kudos and the kind words. You have made writing and publishing this story so rewarding. Thank you and enjoy the final chapter!

_**Seven Months Later** _

Buck sighed as he lifted Holly out of her car seat. He was regretting doing this on the hottest day of the summer, but he had to do this today.

“Alright peanut,” Buck said, adjusting Holly in his arms as he closed the car door. “Ready?”

“Panda,” Holly said, reaching for the car. Buck chuckled and kissed her head. “Dada, panda.”

“You can play with your panda when we head home, okay?”

“Okay.” Buck smiled and kissed her head again. He then sighed and started walking, grass brushing against his sneakers as he did. Holly made a small noise and nuzzled closer to Buck.

“It’s alright, peanut.” He kissed her head again, but kept moving. He knew this place probably looked scary to his daughter, who was now hiding her face in his shirt. But he needed to do this. 

Even if a graveyard scared his daughter.

“Dada, home,” Holly whined, looking up at him. 

“In a bit, peanut,” Buck said. “But dada will keep you safe, okay?” Holly just nodded as they reached where they were going. He lowered himself down to the ground and settled Holly in his lap.

“Dada, where?” She asked, looking up at him. 

“We’re visiting your mom,” Buck said. He glanced at the grave sadly. It had almost made him mad when he realized that Ali’s parents put him through the hell of a custody battle, but didn’t even bother to care where Ali was buried. But then he realized it meant he and Holly could visit her grave, and that felt more important than any emotions towards Ali’s family. 

“Mama here?”

“Yeah peanut she is,” Buck said. “And even though your mom’s gone, we can still come here and visit her.”

“Mama.” Buck smiled sadly and kissed her head. The first two months he knew about Holly had been absolute hell. And sometimes, he wondered if things hadn’t happened the way it did. What if Ali had just been honest with him from the beginning? Or, what if the 118 hadn’t been the ones to respond to the car accident a year ago. But as he looked at Holly, who had looked away from the grave to play with his shirt, he knew none of that mattered. How he found out about Holly was no longer important. Because he knew being Holly's dad was more important than anything.

“Your mom gave me the best gift in the world, peanut,” Buck said, looking back at Ali’s grave. “She gave me you. And you’re the best thing in my life.” He glanced away from the grave towards his daughter. She was watching him and he smiled. “I love you peanut.” Holly reached her hand up, pawing slightly at his birthmark. He caught her hand and kissed it several times, earning a giggle from the toddler. 

“Love you dada.” Buck smiled before standing up. “Home, dada?”

“Yeah peanut, time to go home.”

“Bye mama,” Holly said, waving to the grave.” Buck glanced back at the grave, a sad smile on his face. He left a silent thanks there, for his daughter, for everything working out, for his continued happiness, before turning and heading out of the graveyard.

* * *

Eddie stood out on the porch. Buck had texted him about twenty minutes ago saying he was coming back from the cemetery. Eddie knew this day was tough, which was why he had planned the day very particularly. But he also wanted to warn Buck before he arrived home.

Eddie smiled when he saw his fiancee pull up to the house. He had proposed to Buck a month ago. It had been both a decision out of the blue and one he hadn’t stopped thinking about. He had realized he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Buck when Buck had stayed after the disaster with his parents. But marriage hadn’t been something he had ever considered again, especially after all he went through with Shannon. 

But then he carefully broached the subject with Christopher and the boy was obviously on board with it. So, after a quick chat with Maddie (who had cried over the phone and then blamed it on having a five month old and not sleeping much), he proposed to Buck (who cried as much as Maddie did, signaling it was a Buckley thing). They hadn’t set a date yet or talked about plans. If Eddie was honest, something simple was fine with him. All that mattered was their family, the four of them, being together and happy. 

“What are you doing out here?” Buck asked as he approached the front door. Eddie smiled and took Holly from his arms. 

“I know that today is kind of a hard day,” Eddie said and Buck nodded. “So, I invited everyone over. But I wanted to warn you first, in case you needed a moment.” Buck just smiled before interlacing his fingers with Eddie’s.

“I love you, you know that?”

“Feeling’s mutual,” Eddie said and Buck’s smile only grew. “Now come on.” He tugged Buck’s hand as they headed inside. He saw Buck’s face light up, hearing how lively the house was. “Bobby and Athena are in the kitchen if you want a sneak peek at what they’re cooking.” Buck smiled and kissed Eddie’s cheek before disappearing into the kitchen. Eddie headed towards the living room where everyone else seemed to be. 

He paused in the doorway, just taking everything in. He could see Christopher, Harry, and Denny working on a LEGO structure that was growing increasingly taller. It was currently taller than them, which meant they were passing pieces to Albert, to keep its height going. Chimney was watching his brother with an amused expression, while holding Joy, who was babbling happily. Hen and Karen were sitting on the couch, across from May who was playing with Nia. And Eddie just smiled at everyone present, grateful that they had agreed to come over and grateful that they were always there for them. 

“Maddie!” Eddie was brought out of his thoughts by Holly’s excited cry for her aunt. Maddie smiled as she approached, scooping the eighteen-month-old out of his arms. 

“There’s my favorite niece,” Maddie said, pressing a few kisses to Holly’s cheeks, to the delight of the toddler. “Where’s Buck?”

“He went to see what Bobby and Athena were up to,” Eddie said with a smile.

“Did he seem okay?” Maddie asked. “I know we were both worried this wasn’t going to be an easy day.”

“He seemed fine,” Eddie said. “I think he’ll be better though for everyone being here.” Maddie nodded and smiled. 

“He’s really lucky to have you, Eddie.” Eddie was about to say something when there was a cheer from the LEGO crew. Buck had come out of the kitchen and Christopher was leading the excitement in seeing him. Eddie just smiled and glanced back at Maddie. 

“Nah, I’m the lucky one.” Maddie nodded with a smile as she handed Holly back to Eddie. She walked over to Chimney, who was standing by where Buck was sitting. Eddie took a moment to watch as he bounced Holly in his arms. Buck was smiling, laughing at something Hen was saying, while watching the boys continue their LEGO tower. He remembered how he felt a year after Shannon’s death and he knew Buck didn’t need to be alone. He needed to be surrounded by his friends and family. And Eddie was more than happy to provide that.

He walked over and sat down next to Buck, who beamed at him. Eddie smiled and wrapped his free arm around Buck, settling Holly in his lap. Buck just leaned back against him, a happy sigh escaping his lips. And Eddie just smiled before joining in the conversation.

* * *

“Chris is down for the count.” Buck looked up from where he was sitting in the living room. Everyone had stuck around past dinnertime, until all of the smallest children needed to go to sleep. In fact, Nia, Joy, and Holly had all been asleep by the time everyone was leaving. 

“I still can’t believe that they built a tower almost as tall as Albert,” Buck said as Eddie sat down next to him. Eddie chuckled and Buck fidgeted with his hands. He glanced at the coffee table, something Eddie noticed. 

“Everything okay?” Buck swallowed a little and took Eddie’s hand. “Buck? What’s going on?”

“There was something I wanted to ask you,” Buck said, running his thumb across Eddie’s knuckles. His heart was beating a little faster and he could feel the nerves building up. Eddie just watched him carefully. “I’ve actually been thinking about it since you proposed.”

“Is this about the wedding?” Eddie asked. “Because I was really hoping for something simple.”

“It’s not actually,” Buck said. “But simple sounds fine with me. Honestly, all I need is our friends and family there.” Eddie smiled and Buck felt his heart flutter. “But anyways, this is, uh, something different.” Buck let go of Eddie’s hand and picked up a manila envelope that was sitting on the table. Eddie raised an eyebrow as Buck handed it to him. 

“What is this?” Eddie asked, eyeing the object. 

“Just open it.” He could hear his heart pounding in his ears and tried not to fidget with his hands as Eddie opened the envelope. “I had Jennifer draw it up. She was actually really happy to hear from me and not because of bad news. She’s really great and without a doubt the nicest lawyer I’ve ever met.”

“Buck,” Eddie said, cutting Buck’s rambling off. He was staring at the paper, so Buck couldn’t read his expression. As he looked up, Buck sucked in a breath. “You want me to adopt Holly?”

“Well we are getting married,” Buck said with a small shrug. “And I just think it would be good if she had two parents in her life.” Eddie just looked back at the paper and Buck could see the shock etched on his face. 

And then he laughed. Buck’s mouth dropped open in shock. He expected a lot of reactions from Eddie, but certainly didn’t expect him to laugh about it. He was asking Eddie to adopt his daughter. It was a totally serious question and not funny at all. 

“Are you laughing at me?” Buck asked incredulously. 

“Just because you stole my thunder.” Buck raised an eyebrow at that as Eddie stood up. He tugged Buck’s hand and Buck got up as well, following Eddie down the hallway and into their room. Buck watched him as he moved about the room, a chuckle escaping his lips. He walked over to his bedside table and opened a drawer. Buck’s mouth dropped open as he pulled out a similar looking manilla envelope. 

“I had a whole plan for this,” Eddie said. “There was going to be dinner and Christopher was going to be there too but you stole my thunder.” He passed the envelope to Buck, who pulled the papers out. “Jennifer drew it up for me too.”

“Eds.”

“I talked to Christopher about it,” Eddie said and Buck looked up at him, tears in his eyes. “He was so excited that his Buck was going to be his second dad. I did have to swear him to secrecy though, which is super hard because he’s a kid and…” Buck cut him off, crossing to him and kissing him hard. Eddie wrapped his arms around Buck’s waist, pulling him closer. All of Buck’s concerns and nerves were gone. Instead, his heart was bursting with so much love that he didn’t even know was possible. Buck pulled away and a laugh escaped his lips as he let his forehead fall against Eddie’s.

“So,” Eddie started, locking eyes with Buck. His hands moved from Buck’s waist to cradle his face with his hands, which always made Buck. Eddie smiled sweetly at him. “Do you want to adopt my kid?”

“Only if you’ll adopt mine.” Eddie chuckled and pressed his lips to Buck’s. Buck smiled into the kiss, a truly indescribable feeling of happiness flowing through him.

“Deal,” Eddie said, pulling away to smile at him. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Buck said with a smile, his hands drawing small circles at Eddie’s hips, keeping the two close to each other. “I love this life we’ve built. I love our kids. I love all of it.” And Buck meant it. He was full of so much love, he was sure he was going to burst. “You think Chris is going to be mad you did this without him?”

“He’ll get over it quickly,” Eddie said with a chuckle. “Especially once he realizes he can call you dad.” Buck tilted his head a little and Eddie smirked. “Or something else. Maybe pops?”

“No, I jokingly call Bobby that sometimes,” Buck said. Eddie furrowed his brows in an adorable way and Buck chuckled. “How about we think of it in the morning? Because right now, I have some ideas that involve you, me, and this bed.” Eddie raised his eyebrows and Buck rolled his eyes before kissing him. “All PG of course. Unless you play your cards right.”

“I tend to bat a thousand when it comes to playing my cards right,” Eddie said and Buck snorted before pulling him towards the bed. The two sets of adoption papers were left on the bedside table, along with a silent agreement to sign them in the morning. As soon as they were both lying down, Buck wrapped his arms around Eddie’s waist, letting his head rest on his shoulder. One of Eddie’s arms wrapped around his shoulders, the other gently carding through his hair. 

“Remember when I thought the universe was against us?” Buck asked, glancing up at Eddie. “I’m really glad you convinced me otherwise.” Eddie smiled and leaned down, pressing a long kiss to Buck’s lips. Buck sighed, a smile blooming across his face.

“Me too,” Eddie said, his hand moving from Buck’s hair to his cheek, gently running his thumb across his cheek as he did. “And now we have our whole lives to look forward to.”

“Maybe the universe was on our side all along.” Eddie smiled warmly, pulling Buck closer to him. Buck sighed happily, his eyes started to drift shut. He remembered a year ago, before the car accident, before he knew about Holly, before any of that, when he couldn’t help but wonder what was next. Well, now he knew what was next. A life with Eddie and their kids. A life of love and happiness. The best kind of life he could ask for.

And so, he drifted off to sleep, in the arms of the man he loved and who loved him right back, knowing both of their kids were fast asleep down the hall, completely and utterly happy.

**Author's Note:**

> [Scream with me on my Tumblr?](http://doctornineandthreequarters.tumblr.com)


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